


Profiles

by SophieD



Series: Star Trek TNG AU [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe, Coffee, Complete, Day At The Beach, F/F, F/M, Femslash, First Time, Gay Characters, Hetero Sex, Humor, Lesbian Sex, Los Angeles California, Medical Examiner, Murder, New Friends, New Job, New house, Ocean, Present time, Psychology, Serial Killer, Surfing, Wine, autistic child, beginning relationship, emerging relationship, forensic profiler, misfits - Freeform, police officer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-07-22 10:19:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 49,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7432449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieD/pseuds/SophieD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe story set in present day Los Angeles.  Deanna Troi is freshly out of a marriage and graduate school.  She takes a job with the Los Angeles police as a profiler.  She quickly makes friends with the department's medical examiner and the two women find themselves in the middle of several messy murders, trying to track down a serial killer praying on LA's homeless camps.</p><p>Rated G for now but will change to M for violence and adult situations as we go</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A New Life

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first AU and my first multi chapter story so please be kind. Any help and encouragement you can offer will be gladly accepted. Thank you for reading.  
> -Sophie

Deanna Troi paces nervously in front of the Los Angeles police station. She needs this job. Badly. This is her chance, probably her only chance, and failure is not an option. She checks her watch again. Still early. Too early. She closes her eyes and tries to center herself.

She reflects on the events that have brought her here. Born on a small island in the Mediterranean, her early years were carefree. She was the last in line to a throne that hadn’t existed in hundreds of years, but that didn’t stop her mother from spoiling her rotten. Most of her memories involve hillsides covered in white houses and warm sandy beach. Then, suddenly, everything changed.

Her father died young, leaving her and her mother with a dusty title and little else. Desperate to support her daughter, Lwaxana Troi married a wealthy American from a small town in West Texas. Rich in oil and not much else, he adored Lwaxana but barely tolerated Deanna.

Lwaxana brought her flamboyant style to the dusty little town, hosting book clubs and dinner parties. She quickly became popular and was well liked. She even ran for city council and won the seat easily. She loved her new life and couldn’t understand why her ‘Princess’ couldn’t fit in.

Deanna was shyer than her mother. With her exotic looks and funny accent, the kids in school didn’t take to her. She retreated into her own world of detective and true crime novels, another interest that the others didn’t share. It came as a surprise to her when Will Riker took a liking to her.

If Deanna was a Princess, Will was a Prince. His family had oil. Lots of oil. And money. He was tall and handsome, funny and kind. He was popular with the girls and boys alike. He was the ‘All American’ teen, captain of both the high school football and basketball teams. He loved to party, grades not being as important as fun. He would one day inherit the family business and was content in his life.

Deanna never understood what he saw in a quiet little misfit like, her but he loved her. And she loved him back. They married right out of high school. Will went to work for his dad and Deanna tried to settle into her new life. She desperately wanted to be the wife he deserved but it just wasn’t in her to be the socialite and mother that he needed her to be. After several childless years, she became depressed and retreated back into her book world.

Deanna wasn’t much into television but she often watched just to spend some time with her husband. One night Will put on a new show and she was immediately fascinated. Criminal Minds wasn’t the normal formulaic crime show she found tedious. Instead, it focused on the psychology of the criminals and the team of profilers that chased them. It was everything she loved about the true crime novels she read obsessively.

Will had been encouraging her for years to take some classes at the local college. He worried about her, wandering around their estate with no purpose to her life. He knew she needed direction but couldn’t get her to focus on anything she really wanted. After listening to her dissect each episode of Criminal Minds for weeks, he stopped by the school and picked up a brochure for their psychology program. That night, he took her out to dinner and presented her with the information and a class schedule. He knew in his heart that this path would lead her out of his life but he loved her enough that her happiness was more important.

Deanna graduated with a psychology degree in 3 years and immediately went on to graduate school. She still loved Will and always planned to return home. But Will wouldn’t allow it. He saw her happy for the first time in a long time and encouraged her to continue her studies. For her doctoral dissertation, she studied the minds of serial rapists in Texas prisons. She graduated with honors and Will was in the front row applauding. That night, he told her that she needed to leave. She was never meant for a small town in West Texas or to be the wife of an oilman. She had more important things to do in the world and he wasn’t going to let her waste her talents. Two weeks later, he presented her with an application for a job in Los Angeles, a psychologist with the major crimes division of the police department. He made sure that she would always have what she needed financially and then he filed for divorce. She cried for days but in her heart she knew he was right.

Despite her unhappiness in Texas, Deanna found it difficult to leave. She still loved Will and missed her mother terribly. But she didn’t miss her old life. She was on a new adventure and was eager to get started. First, she has to get this job.

She checks her watch again. How is it possible that time is moving so slowly? With a frustrated sigh, she turns to pace again. And runs smack into someone. She doesn’t even notice the woman she hits, all she can see is the spreading coffee stain across the woman’s pink silk blouse. Mumbling apologies, she uses the sleeve of her jacket to try to mop up the dark liquid. The woman grabs at her hand and it’s at that moment that Deanna realizes she is rubbing her arm up and down the woman’s bosom. She looks up into the woman’s laughing blue eyes and quickly pulls her hand back.

“Oh my God. I am so sorry!” she stammers. “Can I pay for that or…”

“It’s OK” the woman laughs. “I have another in my office. Please don’t worry.”

Deanna smiles shyly. “Can I at least buy you a new coffee?”

The woman smiles back. “Sure. Later. I’m late for an appointment right now.” She digs in her purse and produces a business card. “Call me.”

Deanna nods and shoves the card in her pocket without looking at it. As the woman hurries into the building, Deanna sinks onto the brick planter and drops her head into her hands, desperately hoping the rest of her day goes better.

Deanna enters the building, trying to find her confidence. It’s not the job she’s worried about but the interview. She’s never been terribly good with people, well not honest ones anyway. Criminals she understands. She can easily get inside their heads, figure out what makes them tick. Relating to ‘real people’ has always eluded her. She quiets her shaking hands and enters the door to the office of the chief of police. The receptionist waves her to a chair against the wall and she sits nervously, rehearsing her pitch in her head.

She is lost again in her thoughts when she senses a presence standing in front of her. She looks up into the face of an older gentleman. He is of about average height, handsome and almost completely bald. His stern expression is belayed by his sparkling hazel eyes. Her first impression is of a kind and caring man but not one to be trifled with. He introduces himself as Chief Picard and holds out his hand.

Deanna jumps to her feet, embarrassed to be caught once again not paying attention. She takes his hand with confidence she doesn’t feel, concentrating on her firm handshake and eye contact. He returns her smile and invites her to his office. Finally feeling like she might actually get through the interview with some success, she follows him in.

All of her new found confidence disappears as she glances around the room. As offices go, it’s nothing special. A large desk, flags in the corner, pictures of Picard shaking hands with celebrities and holding golf trophies adorn the walls. And sitting in the chair next to the desk is a woman with an amused smile on her face. Deanna’s face pales as she realizes it’s the woman she met, or rather, ran into, on the front steps.

The woman stands and holds out her hand. She introduces herself as Dr. Beverly Crusher, Chief Medical Examiner. Deanna takes her hand but can’t find any words. Dr. Crusher is tall and wildly beautiful with bright red hair and porcelain skin. She looks to be about the same age as Deanna, early 30s, young to hold such a prestigious position. She is well dressed though her blouse is now blue instead of pink. She gently takes Deanna’s hand in hers with a soft smile while Picard looks on, wondering if there might be some sort of history between the women.

“Deanna is it? It’s nice to meet you. Again. Please, have a seat. The chief will be conducting the interview. I’m just here as an advisor seeing as you will be a part of my team. I’ve read your file and I have to say I am very impressed with your work. I may have a few questions for you. But I’m sure you will do great. “

Deanna returns her smile gratefully. The woman’s kindess and Picard’s gentle eyes do a great deal to relax her and she sits in her chair feeling more optimistic than she has in days.

Picard opens her file and walks her through her resume, asking standard questions about her education and graduate work. He’s very impressed with her work with the prisoners and mentions that he has actually read her dissertation. Dr. Crusher nods along. She had read it too and was fascinated by some of the conclusions that Deanna reached about how serial rapists think about women. She and Picard were also impressed that someone, so small in stature was so comfortable around such dangerous men. Deanna shrugs it off. She was too curious about the criminal’s thoughts to worry about her physical safety. ‘Besides’ she told them, ‘her husband had been concerned about her safety and insisted that she take self defense classes and she was an expert in Krav Maga.’

“Really?” Dr Crusher asks. “I’ve read about that. I would love to learn some moves  
. “

Deanna smiles. “I would love to teach you some basic defenses. I imagine your job can get a bit hairy sometimes.”

Dr. Crusher laughs. “Actually I’m not too afraid of my patients but I do occasionally go out in the field. Perhaps we can talk about it when you buy me that coffee you owe me?”

Picard glances between the two women, noticing the obvious chemistry they seem to have. It's the last bit of information he needs, to be sure that they will be able to work together. Satisfied that he has found his new profiler, he stands and takes Deanna’s hand.

“If you don’t mind, Dr. Crusher and I will talk it over and we will get back to you soon.”

Deanna nods. She’s gotten nothing but good vibes from the two and feels fairly confident that she’ll at least be considered for the position. She holds her hand out to Dr. Crusher as well.

“It was lovely to meet you both. I look forward to hearing from you. Have a great rest of the day.”

As she turns to leave, she’s startled to see the Doctor mouth, “call me.”

Deanna spends the rest of the week looking for a place to live and trying not to worry about whether or not she will get a phone call from Chief Picard. She finds a nice little house on the beach just north of Malibu. It will be a longish commute into downtown LA, should she get the job, but she’s been dreaming of living on the coast again. A sweet little black convertible will make that commute just a little bit easier. She finds furniture and local artists’ work to decorate and helps to support several small bookstores to fill her new shelves. Finally satisfied, she relaxes on the patio of her new home and calls Will.


	2. A new friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna gets to know her new coworker a bit better

Deanna and Will still talk almost daily. He has always been her strength and her biggest cheerleader. She tells him all about the interview and her new place and they make plans to have Will come visit soon. As she puts her phone aside and picks up her wine glass, she stares out across the ocean and thinks that she finally has the life she always wanted. It’s at that exact moment her phone rings.

Deanna stares at the phone as it bounces on her new patio table. It’s probably Will calling back with plans for his visit. That would be just like him to do that immediately. She knows he’s anxious to see her. Still, she’s a bit annoyed as she picks up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Ms. Troi? This is Chief Picard. From the Los Angeles police?”

She nods enthusiastically even though she knows he can’t possibly see her.

“Yes. This is she.”

She is literally sitting on the edge of her chair, her fingers crossed.

“Yes. Hello. I was just wanting to let you know that you impressed us very much.”

‘uh oh’ she thinks. That’s the beginning of the sentence that ends with ‘but we’ve decided to go with someone else’. She holds her breath…

“And we would like to offer you the job if you are still interested.”

Deanna jumps to her feet, pumping her fist in the air. She forces her voice to be calm and professional.

“Thank you Chief. I would love it. I am really looking forward to working for you.”

She can almost hear the smile in his voice when he answers.

“Good. Good. We were hoping you would feel that way. Like I said, you were quite impressive. You and your skills are what we were looking for. Can you come by on Friday? Dr. Crusher and I would like to talk about what your job description will be and you can do some paperwork. We would love it if you could start Monday.

“That would be great Chief.”

“Just Picard. Or Jean-Luc please.

“OK. Picard. I want you to know that I am really excited about this opportunity.”

Picard chuckles. “Yes. I can tell. Good. We need some enthusiasm around here. 3:00? On Friday?”

“I’ll be there. And thank you again Chie…Picard.”

She can hear another chuckle as he hangs up the phone.

She refills her wine glass and falls back into her chair. ‘This really is a dream come true’ she thinks as she stares out at the ocean and sips at her wine. She’ll call Will with the good news later. For now, she just wants to be happy.

Deanna arrives early to her appointment Friday afternoon. It's just her nature. She hates to be late to anything. She’s also half hoping she might run into Dr. Crusher again, figuratively this time. At exactly ten minutes til 3:00, she is sitting nervously in Picard’s outer office, a manila folder full of personal and tax ID forms clutched in her hands.

Picard invites her in and she is pleased to see Dr. Crusher also present. They spend about 45 minutes going over details and some friendly chatting before Picard excuses himself for another appointment. Deanna moves to the outer office to complete her forms while Dr. Crusher (Beverly she was told) walked him out. She is off thinking about what she needs to do to be ready to start work on Monday as she leaves the office. And runs smack into Beverly again.

Beverly sees her coming this time and manages to save the coffee cups she’s holding by lifting them up over Deanna’s head.

“Oh my God. I did it again. I am so sorry Beverly. I really am not off to a good start am I? I swear I’m not usually so clumsy. It’s just that I’ve had so much going on lately and well, I promise I’ll be more careful. I didn’t spill your coffee again did I? Oh this is so embarrassing…”

Beverly cuts her off with a laugh. “Relax. You’re fine. I understand. And believe me, I am just like that too. Oh and your coffee. Here.”

Deanna looks into her blue eyes and finally sees the humor in the situation. She takes the proffered coffee graciously.

“Mocha? How on earth did you know?”

Beverly smiles. “I just had a feeling. Can I show you around?”

Deanna nods and follows Beverly as she shows her the important things in the building, the best bathrooms, how to use the copier, the break room. She advises that Deanna not leave things in the refridgerator in there though.

“All the guys in the building. They have no respect when it comes to good food. I use the fridge in the morgue.”

She laughs at Deanna’s horrified face. “Don’t worry. I make sure everything is carefully labeled.”

Deanna nods but she’s not sure she wouldn’t rather take her chances upstairs.

“Oh and don’t drink the coffee in here. It’s awful! I keep telling Jean-Luc but he’s a tea drinker and he just doesn’t get it. And 'the boys' as she constantly refers to the officers and detectives in the house, “they have no taste at all.” She’s persuaded several of the female officers to join her cause but so far they haven’t had much luck.

“I’ll show you were I hide the good stuff” she whispers conspiratorially.

Deanna smiles. “Looks like I’m with the right person then. I’ve had my fill of bad coffee in schools and prisons too. I’m too old to drink that shit.”

Beverly laughs. “I think you and I are going to get along fabulously” she declares.

Beverly gives Deanna an extensive tour of the morgue. It’s obvious that she is incredibly proud of her labs. And from what Deanna can glean, meticulous in her work.

Last of all, Beverly shows off her office. It’s not nearly as big a room as Chief Picard’s but, again, Deanna can see Beverly’s careful placement from the neatly stacked files on her desk to the perfectly ordered book cases along the wall. On one side, under the only window, is a smaller desk, pushed tight to the wall.

“I’m sorry about this Dee. Can I call you Dee? But we don’t really have any extra space down here so we’re going to have to share for the time being. Unless you would rather be upstairs? Because we can find a place for you there. I was just hoping, since much of the time we’ll be working together, I thought it would be good to be closer. But I totally understand if you need your space and…”

Deanna is amused to see the taller, confident woman flustered. She cuts her off with a wave of her hand. “No. Please. This is perfect. Honestly I’ve never had even my own desk so this is quite the luxury.”

Beverly smiles with relief. “Good. I was hoping it would be Ok. But you have to promise that if it becomes awkward or too small or something, that you’ll tell me and we can find you some place else.”

“I promise” Deanna says, crossing her heart with her finger. “But only if you promise the same. I can be, well, intense sometimes when I’m working. Being inside killer’s heads and all. I can get a bit lost.”

Beverly smiles again and crosses her own heart. “I promise. Now let’s get out of here. Its getting late and I haven’t got any pressing cases. You’re new to LA right? Care for a little tour? Unless you have to get home of course because I guess I really don’t know anything about you and I don’t want to be presumptuous or anything by thinking that you would have any interest in spending an evening with someone you barely know and…”

Deanna stares at her, astonished again at how quickly the woman changes from the confident medical examiner to awkward and shy. She waves her hand to make her stop babbling.

“Stop! It’s OK. No I don’t have anything I need to do. My husband is still in Texas. I would love to see some of LA. But only if you promise to let me cook you dinner tonight. I’ve got a new place that I love and no one to show it off to.”

Beverly gives her another relieved smile. “I would love that. So where do you want to go first?”

Deanna thinks for a minute. “A wine bar. I want to go to the trendiest most stereotypical southern California wine bar that you know of.”

Beverly grins. “I know just the place!”

Over a couple of glasses of California wine, Beverly gives Deanna a primer on the office gossip. They laugh a lot and Deanna is thankful to have found a friend. She hasn't had many of those in her life and it feels good to have someone to be with besides Will and her mother. This move to LA is starting to look like the best decision of her life.

Deanna retrieves her car and Beverly follows her out to the beach house for a late dinner. Deanna pops a pastisto she had made the day before into the oven and they retire to the patio with a bottle of wine.

"You really live here? This is gorgeous" Beverly gushes. It's always been my dream to live by the ocean. But, you know, government salary and all. Maybe when I retire."

Deanna smiles. "I've been dreaming of living by the ocean again. There isn't too much water in West Texas."

"Again?" Beverly asks. "I was kind of curious about that." She studies Deanna with her long curly black hair, olive skin and eyes so dark they could be made of obsidian. "You don't look like what I would expect from a Texan. And that certainly is not a southern accent."

Deanna laughs. "First of all, don't ever call a Texan 'Southern'. It's a whole different country. And you're right. I was actually born in Greece."

Beverly claps her hands together. "Oh I would love to visit Greece someday. Tell me all about it. And how in the world you ended up in Texas!"

Deanna tells her about her early, carefree days on Beta, the nickname for the almost unpronounceable little island she was born on. She tries to gloss over the royalty part but Beverly wants none of it.

"A princess? A real princess? That is marvelous! I've never met a real princess before."

"And you still haven't" Deanna replies. "The royalty exists only in my mother's head. The reality is that there hasn't been a monarchy on Beta for hundreds of years. All that I'm heir to is a dusty old chalice and some tarnished rings. I'm not sure anyone even knows where they are anymore."

Beverly shakes her head. "No. You are definitely royalty. I mean look at you. You're gorgeous. And so full of poise and grace."

Deanna laughs so hard that wine comes out her nose. "You obviously have forgotten the coffee incident."

Beverly laughs now and they both dissolve into half drunken giggles.

Suddenly serious, Beverly takes Deanna's hand. "Thank you Dee. I haven't had this much fun in years!"

She looks as if she wants to say something more but it is at this moment the timer on the oven beeps. She releases Deanna's hand and picks up her wine glass as Deanna disappears to the kitchen to get dinner.

Pasta, baklava, another bottle of wine along with the cool ocean breeze lull the women into a stupor. Beverly glances at her watch and is startled to see that it's after 11:00. She stands unsteadily and then falls back into her chair. Deanna laughs at her.

"You're not going home like that! I have a brand new bed in the guest room and I have no idea if it's comfortable or not. Stay the night? We can maybe take a run on the beach in the morning."

She suddenly gets shy, realizing that she just invited a woman she just met, her new boss even, to spend the night. She tries to back track.

"Unless you need to get back of course. I can call you a cab and we can arrange for your car later. I mean I don't even know if you're married or anything really. I'm sorry if I was being presumptuous. I've just been having so much fun and all."

Beverly cuts her off with a wave. "Stop. Please. It's fine. I would love to stay. Not too sure about the running part but the rest is good. It's just me. Well, I have a cat but he can take care of himself for the night. I'll just need to be home to feed him tomorrow. But I've been having a lovely time. I don't do this much. Hardly at all really. It's usually just me and Rudi and a book. This is nice."

Deanna relaxes. "It is nice. More wine?"

"Of course!"

Deanna and Beverly work through another bottle of wine and listen to the sounds of the crashing waves before stumbling to bed. On impulse, Deanna gives Beverly a quick hug before leaving for her own room. She tucks herself into her bed and falls asleep with a smile on her face.

Morning comes too early and too bright for Deanna. She staggers out of her room in search of something liquid to wash away the fuzz in her mouth. She is astonished to find a tall red headed woman standing over her stove. She blinks a couple of times trying to recall what exactly happened the night before.

"Dee! Good morning. I hope you don't mind. I started breakfast. Omelettes are my go to food for hangovers. There's some fresh orange juice already on the patio table. You know you have a nice little market just up the street? Farm fresh eggs, fruit, the whole thing. Are you ok?"

Deanna blinks again, trying to process the whole scene.

"Umm. Yeah. I'm ok. I just...its early..."

Beverly laughs but then stops when Deanna winces.

"Go take a shower. I think I've figured out your espresso machine. I'll make you some coffee. The omelettes will be done in a few."

"You did all of this without coffee?" Deanna asks incredulously.

Beverly laughs again, quieter this time.

"No. The market." She gestures in the general direction.

Deanna nods and turns back toward her room.

When she emerges, she's feeling much more human. She finds Beverly on the patio, sipping coffee and staring out at the ocean. She turns to Deanna with a smile.

"Better? You look better."

Deanna nods.

Beverly turns back toward the beach.

"This really is heaven you know."

"l know. I'm feeling very fortunate right now with a new job and a friend and all."

Beverly gives her a warm smile as she takes and squeezes her hand. They sit for a few minutes, with Beverly holding her hand. It makes Deanna feel good and uncomfortable at the same time. She peeks at Beverly's face and sees nothing but contentment as she stares out at the water. Physical contact like holding hands with friends and hugs are things her mother does and are perfectly innocent. For her, besides Will, there's never been anyone, male or female she's been close enough to. She mentally shrugs it off and goes back to enjoying a beautiful morning with a new friend.

She peeks again at Beverly and notices she's staring longingly at the water.

"Would you like to go down to the beach?"

Beverly smiles without turning to look at her.

"I'm not running if that's what you're suggesting."

Deanna laughs. "No. I'm not quite well enough for that, despite the lovely breakfast."

"I'm not really much of a beach person. More like a water person. And I'm not exactly dressed for swimming."

Without thinking, Deanna offers, "I've got one you can borrow."

Beverly turns and looks at her. Deanna tries to make it better. She starts gesturing to the length of her torso trying to explain that she has a bikini that would fit Beverly's length then starts on the difference in bust sizes. Beverly laughs at her again.

"Stop! I'm sure it will be fine. And the waves are perfect."

"Perfect for what?"

Beverly looks at her with amusement.

"Surfing!"

"You surf??"

"Of course. I'm guessing you don't have a board?"

Deanna shakes her head, still trying to picture the elegant red head on a surf board.

"Soft board?"

Another head shake.

"Body surf?"

"Never heard of it."

"Do you swim?"

"Of course."

"Well that's something. Show me that suit and I will teach you to body surf. Maybe next time I will bring my board and teach you the real thing. It would be a shame to look at these perfect waves everyday and not do something about them."

They rise and Beverly follows Deanna into the house. Deanna is still trying to process all of this information about her new friend. Beverly is like no one Deanna has ever met before.

Both women emerge from their rooms in their swim suits.

"Wow!" Deanna says. "That looks much better on you than it ever did on me!"

Beverly blushes. "You're not so bad yourself" she says giving Deanna the once over. "All I need now is some sunscreen. SPF 1000" she laughs gesturing at her almost translucent white skin.

Deanna finds a bottle and Beverly turns so that Deanna can spread it on her back. It's all a bit too personal for Deanna but it doesn't faze Beverly at all. It wouldn't bother her mother either. Hell, her mother would probably spread it all over her front if she had the chance. She tentatively squirts some on Beverly's shoulder and laughs when she winces from the cold.

She allows Beverly to put some sunscreen on her and then gathers some towels and they head down to the beach. She half expects Beverly to run willy nilly toward the water, arms flailing like a child but the woman restrains herself, just barely.

Deanna stops knee deep in the water. Beverly tugs at her hand but Deanna holds her ground. Deanna's experiences have been in the warm, calm waters of the Mediterranean and the Gulf of Mexico. The Pacific is cold. And the strength of the waves and undertow are much more than Deanna expected.

"I'm just going to watch from here. If that's ok."

Beverly shrugs and forges ahead. Deanna watches as she gracefully turns herself into each wave, the water breaking harmlessly over her back. She stands and watches the waves for a minute, studying their pattern then moves forward.

Deanna holds her breath when a large wave threatens to crush her but then Beverly gracefully dives into the breaking wave and emerges safely on the other side, shaking her wet hair out of her face.

After another minute of study, she chooses a wave. As the swell begins to crest, she positions herself just under the curling lip and starts to swim. As the wave crashes, she disappears and Deanna holds her breath again. She can see flashes of red hair in the white froth as Beverly is carried along and then pulls herself up out of the water in front of Deanna, her eyes wild and laughing!

"That was amazing!" She exclaims, adjusting the top of her suit. "Come. I'll teach you!"

Deanna shakes her heard. "No. I don't think I'm ready for that. I think I'll just watch for now."

Beverly shrugs again and heads back out for another run.

After a few more rides, Beverly comes back to Deanna. She's out of breath, her cheeks bright red but her eyes are still dancing with excitement.

"I am so out of shape. I need to get out here more often!"

Deanna smiles. Beverly looks perfectly in shape to her but she doesn't say anything. Instead she lets Beverly pull her out into the surf. She shows her how to turn her hip to the broken waves to keep her balance. Deanna is visibly nervous as they approach their first large wave and Beverly grabs her hand and shows her how to dive safely under the lip of the wave and come out the other side. They swim just past the surf line where the large swells lift them up and over before dropping them back into the trough.

"You've never been out here?"

Deanna pushes her wet curls out of her face. "No. It's a bit different than what I'm used to. But it's fun. Maybe I will let you teach me to surf. But not now. This is plenty of excitement for me right now."

Beverly smiles. "What about diving? Do you dive?"

"Dive?"

"Scuba diving."

"Oh. No. But it's something I've always wanted to do. You?"

"Oh yes! I love it. Don't get out as much as I used to. Hard when you don't have anyone to dive with. Hey! You should take a class. I know some great beach dives down in Laguna. And we can go other places. I would love to go back to Roatan!"

"Roatan?"

Beverly nods. "Honduras. One of my favorite places. Second longest barrier reef in the world. And Anthony's Key. It's an amazing resort. It's so much fun and they have these bungalows that hang out over the water. Flowers and iguanas all over the place. And you have to go across in a little motor boat to get to them. Oh we should so do that!"

It's hard not to catch Beverly's enthusiasm but it's suddenly all too much for Deanna.

"I'm getting cold. Maybe we should head in and get something to eat."

Beverly realizes her mistake. "I'm sorry Dee. I just get excited. And it's been so long since I've had a friend that I felt so comfortable with. Jean-Luc and I, well that's a long story. But I get it. And I'm sorry."

Deanna smiles at her. "It's ok. I understand. It's the same for me. I really am cold though. And I could use a drink."

Beverly smiles warmly. "Yeah. Me too. Do you want to ride a wave in? I can help you."

"No. I don't think so. Unless I have to?"

"No. We can walk out. Just you're missing out."

Deanna laughs. "I'm sure I probably am. It does look like fun. Another day?"

"It's a date!"

They make it safely out of the water and walk up the beach talking and laughing when Beverly suddenly stops short. "I think there's someone on your patio?"

Deanna squints then rolls her eyes. "Oh god! It's my mom!"


	3. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna is ready to tackle her first day of work. The morning starts slow...

"Mother! What are you doing here?

"Deanna! I missed you Little One. You have this beautiful new house and you hadn't invited me yet. I just had to come see" Lwaxana exclaims as she grabs Deanna by the shoulders and kisses both of her cheeks.  
"And who is this?" She asks as she turns to look at Beverly.  
"Mother, this is my friend Beverly. This is my mother Lwaxana Troi" Deanna introduces them.  
Lwaxana gives Beverly the same enthusiastic greeting while Deanna sighs.  
"It's so good to meet you!" Lwaxana exclaims. "Deanna has told me nothing about you. I want to hear all about how you two met and everything you've been up to" she says with a wink gesturing at their wet hair and suits.  
"Mother!" Deanna tries to chastise her but Lwaxana ignores her and pulls Beverly into one of the deck chairs.  
"Deanna, be a dear and get me and Beverly here some more of this delicious orange juice and some sparkling wine." She dismisses her daughter with a wave of her hand. Deanna sighs again and does as she's told while Lwaxana begins to grill Beverly about the details of her life.  
Deanna sits by quietly until Lwaxana starts to pry into Beverly's love life.  
"Mother! Stop! We've just met. She doesn't need to tell her entire life story."  
Beverly can hold her own with Lwaxana but she takes the opportunity.  
"I should be going anyway . My poor kitty has been alone all night."  
She turns to Deanna with a smile.  
"I'll change and let myself out. You stay here. You two have a lot to catch up on. I will see you at work on Monday. Thank you again, I've had a wonderful time getting to know you. And meeting you too Lwaxana."  
Deanna gives her a thankful smile and settles in to tell her mother all about her new job. 

Deanna is the first one in the office on Monday morning. She stopped and picked up a coffee for herself and one for Beverly, which she places carefully in the middle of Beverly's desk, then settles into her own space. She pulls out a picture of her mother and one of Will, places them on her desk, then sits back with satisfaction. 

On her desk, she finds a small stack of folders to look through. With nothing else to do until she has an actual case, she opens the first one and starts to take notes. All of the files contain open cases in a variety of different departments. She quickly separates them into ones that she can comment on quickly and those that will need more research. She's so into her work that she doesn't hear Beverly come in. 

A soft "ahem" finally gets her attention. She turns to see Beverly holding two coffees and a laughing smile.  
Deanna laughs. "It looks  
like we both had the same idea. I think we're going to need a plan."  
Beverly agrees. "How about I get it on even days and you go odd?"  
"Perfect!"  
"So can I take you around and introduce you to the boys? They've all been anxious to meet you. They've been pulling cases for your help all week."  
Deanna shows her the files that were left on her desk. "I can see that."  
Beverly rolls her eyes. "Figures. They've all been asking about your martial status too. I keep telling them that you're married but they heard you were cute so don't blame them if they try anyway."  
Deanna smiles but she doesn't correct her. Her relationship with Will isn't something she's ready to discuss with anyone.  
Beverly keeps rambling on as Deanna follows her out of the office.  
"Don't get me wrong, most of them are really great guys. It's just that we all work together, sometimes under a lot of stress and we've become like a family. There aren't many secrets and nothing is off limits."  
Deanna takes a chance and asks a personal question she's been dying to ask.  
"So why haven't any of them snatched you up yet?"  
Beverly stiffens and doesn't answer. Even though Deanna asked it with humor, she immediately feels bad that Beverly took it wrong.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask something so personal. If I offended you I'm sorry."  
"No. It's ok" Beverly reassures her. "It's just a bit complicated. They're more like a bunch of over protective brothers really. You'll see. That and, well..."  
She pauses and Deanna senses discomfort again.  
"You and Chief Picard?"  
Beverly reacts again and Deanna starts to apologize.  
"Oh I'm sorry. I did it again. I'm just not really good with this friend stuff. I always put my foot in my mouth. Please just tell me it's none of my business and I'll shut up."  
Beverly turns to her and smiles. "No. No. You're fine. I did kind of bring it up. Yeah there's some history there but we're just friends."  
Deanna senses there's much more to the story but she's made an ass of herself enough for the time being and let's it go. They walk up the stairs in silence, both feeling equally uncomfortable. 

Beverly stops first in theft and introduces Deanna to the detectives there. She explains that this building isn't a regular police station. Only the biggest and most difficult cases are referred to the detectives here. They are divided into specialties, theft, computer crimes, white collar, missing persons and, of course, homicide and sex crimes. She starts in the less violent crimes departments, knowing the others will have more questions for Deanna. By the time they make it back down to their office in the morgue, Deanna has an armful of manila folders and a half dozen requests to get drinks after work. 

Deanna settles into her space and begins sorting her folders again while Beverly goes to the lab to "meet a new customer". 

Several hours pass before Deanna closes the last folder and pushes to standing, trying to stretch the kinks out of her back. Her stomach rumbles and she wonders if Beverly might be interested in getting some lunch. 

She's never seen an autopsy before but she figures she's going to have to pass through the lab sooner or later. She finds Beverly standing over her 'patient'. She's changed into blue scrubs, purple rubber gloves and safety glasses. She's got ear buds in and her head is bobbing to the music as she works, her pony tail swinging. Occasionally, she speaks into a small recorder. 

Not wanting to bother her, Deanna stands back and watches for a few minutes. Anatomy was never her thing but she's seen enough crime photos not to be squeamish and is curious about the autopsy process. 

Beverly finally looks up and smiles when she sees her. She pulls an earbud out.  
"Oh. Hi. So what do you think?"  
"I think it's quite interesting. Does this one have a story?"  
"Oh they all have stories. Sadly this one isn't long. Or terribly interesting."  
She starts to clean up as she talks.  
"Car accident. Suspected on site that it may have been a seizure. I haven't seen anything to contradict that. Won't know for a couple of days whether or not it was drug related but I suspect not. Just unlucky."  
She washes her hands at the sink then turns toward Deanna.  
"Always makes me hungry. Wanna go get lunch?"  
Deanna nods. "I haven't had a chance to check out the area. What's good?"  
Beverly thinks for a minute.  
"Would it be too cliche to take you for gyros? There's a little stand around the corner. Two brothers. Nice guys. Good food. We can sit outside and get some sun. I forget sometimes, down here in my dungeon how nice the sun feels."  
Deanna smiles at her. "I love gyros! So what were you listening to?"  
"Pearl Jam."  
Deanna is surprised once again. She was sure it was going to be Mozart or Bach. She never would have guessed Grunge Rock. 

The food was everything that Beverly promised. Deanna was especially happy to find out that the owners were actually from Greece and she could practice a little bit of her first language. 

On the way back, Beverly takes her hand as they walk. Deanna smiles and let's her. It's still weird to her but she thinks she might get used to it. As they round the corner toward the building, Beverly drops her hand and shoves hers in her pocket. Deanna looks at her and Beverly scowls a bit.  
"Sorry. That's how rumors get started around here."  
For the first time, Deanna wonders about Beverly.


	4. Little William

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna gets her first challenge and has a strange conversation with Chief Picard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want more chapters faster? Leave me a message. Share my link. Encouragement always helps. Love to know what y'all think. Moving too slow? Get to the smut sooner? And thanks for even getting this far. I'm having fun with this one so far

As they enter their office, Deanna sees a man sitting at Beverly's desk. He looks to be somewhere in his 40's with brown curly hair and a ruddy face. He's leaning back, eyes closed with hands behind his head, his feet up on the desk.  
Beverly stops short.  
"Miles!"  
The man's eyes snap open but he doesn't move.  
"Bevie! Been waiting for ya."  
"I can see that. What are you doing down here?"  
"I missed you. Can't a guy miss his favorite girl?"  
Beverly rolls her eyes.  
"You only miss me when you need something. So what is it? The seizure guy yours? You know I won't have a tox screen for a couple of days."  
"Nah. Jonesy caught that one. Lucky bastard. He'll be home for dinner. Mines a lot more complicated. Body's in the fridge for ya. Actually I'm here cuz I heard you got a pretty little partner. Was out when you brought her 'round. Wanted to see for myself if all the rumors were true."  
Beverly nods with a smile and pulls Deanna into the room.  
"Deanna Troi, this is Miles O'Brien. He's in homicide. Miles, Deanna, she's a profiler. Going to help you all out."  
Miles finally sits up and drops his feet from the table but doesn't vacate the chair.  
"Nice to meetcha. Hate to do this to ya on your first day and all but I can really use your kinda help."  
Deanna smiles. "I've been waiting for something to do."  
No one speaks for a few seconds. Finally, Beverly addresses him again.  
"So you going to get out of my chair so I can work or what?"  
He grins at her.  
"Aww c'mon Bevie, you got a friend on ice out in your laboratory." He draws the word out so it sounds like it's from a Frankenstein movie. "Thought I could talk to Deanna here."  
"Yeah well you thought wrong. !Levanten se!" She gestures an up movement with her hand.  
He keeps talking. "And besides, you got the best seat in the house. How'd that happen anyway?"  
She glares at him but that only encourages him.  
"Oh yeah. I remember now. Kissin' up to the chief! Gotta remember that."  
Beverly sighs. "Fine. Talk here. I've got work to do."  
She starts to turn and then glances back.  
"Oh and you're right. About the chair. Try it some time."  
"Yeah well he ain't exactly my type."  
She throws him a wink and leaves. 

The detective finally stands and holds out his hand to Deanna. He's a big man, at least 6'4 and pushing 300 pounds but none of those pounds are fat. He's wearing a wedding ring but that doesn't stop him from flirting.  
"So what brings a pretty little thing like you to our little town?"  
Deanna decides he means no harm and doesn't take offense.  
"Oh you know. I heard about how all the detectives in LA were so hot. I had to come see for myself."  
He laughs. "I like you. You'll do well here. We say stupid things but we don't mean half of it."  
"What about the other half?" Deanna teases.  
Miles looks suddenly serious. "All true. Every word of it!"  
Deanna laughs again. 

The energy in the room completely changes as Miles sits heavily back into Beverly's chair. Deanna grabs her own and sits on the other side of the desk.  
"Again. I'm sorry being your first day and all but I'm really stuck here. It's gonna be a rough one."  
Deanna nods. "It's ok. What can I do to help?"  
He sighs deeply then starts explaining his case.  
"We went out this morning. Jane Doe in a hotel room. Messy. Very messy. Someone beat the crap out of her. Bevie will know more but looks as if she didn't die right away. Been there a couple days at least."  
Deanna nods.  
"So here's the thing", Miles continues, "we're there, doing our thing and all and we hear someone in the closet. Turns out the woman has a kid. Boy. 9 or 10. Cute little thing. But totally freaked out. Crying. Rocking."  
"Understandable" Deanna says.  
"Yeah but it's more than that. Kid's got big knots on the back of the head. Dried blood. At first we think he's been hit too but then we see blood on the wall, back of the closet."  
"Head banging?"  
He sighs. "Yeah. We think so. So we bring the kid back here. Clean him up. Try to get him to eat. Figure he can tell us what happened. But he won't. I mean the kid's traumatized. Who wouldn't be. But I think it's more. Not said a word. No eye contact. Just sits and rocks. At least he hasn't tried to hurt himself but still..."  
"You think he's autistic?"  
Miles sighs again. "Yeah. Kid in my son's class just like it."  
"Have you called social services? They might have someone who can help?"  
Miles shakes his head. "Not yet. Wanted to try to get through to him here. I know he knows who done this to his mom. Get social services here, God knows what'll happen to him. As soon as Bevie gets us something we can ID her with, we'll look for family. I mean, don't get me wrong. SS, they do good. They mean well. It's just that sometimes..."  
He shakes his head again. "Just rather not go that route unless we have to. Kids messed up enough without more strangers moving him around."  
Deanna nods. She really wants to meet the boy now.  
"So what do you need from me?"  
Miles looks at her and she can see the sadness in his eyes.  
"I know kids ain't your thing but I was hoping maybe you could talk to him. See if maybe you can get through."  
Deanna nods again. "Yeah. I'll give it a try. If he's really autistic, well, we'll see."

As Deanna follows the big detective through the lab, Beverly pulls one of her ear buds to talk to Deanna.  
"The kid?"  
Deanna nods. "How...?"  
"Told you there's no secrets. Good luck."  
Deanna nods with a small smile.  
Beverly starts to put her music back on when Deanna teases, "Bevie?"  
Beverly rolls her eyes. "Don't. Just don't!"  
Deanna laughs quietly as she moves to catch up to Detective O'Brien. 

As they walk, Miles fills her in more on the case itself.  
"This ones looking an awful lot like a battered woman. She got fed up, took the kid and ran. Holed up in that awful hotel room. Bastard finds her, beats the crap out of her and leaves her to die. Doesn't give a shit about the kid. I really wanna get this SOB! Worst kind of scum beat a woman, mess with a kid."  
Deanna keeps quiet, letting him rant. It's actually comforting to see him angry. It's the people who don't care anymore after so many years, they're the ones that scare her. 

They arrive at the observation window to a small room. Deanna peers through. The room is obviously set up for kids, low tables, small chairs, brightly colored pictures on the wall. Right off she notices a few things missing and makes a mental note to bring it up later.  
Sitting in one chair is a female detective. In the other is a small boy. 9 years old would be generous based on his size. He's staring at the wall in front of him, rocking slightly, a handmade crochet bear held tight in his hands.  
Miles taps softly on the window. The woman stands and says something to the boy. He doesn't react as she leaves the room, shutting the door softly behind her.  
Miles introduces her as Detective Alyssa Ogawa. She's not a big woman but looks formidable. Definitely an athlete. If Deanna had to guess she'd say endurance athlete, marathon, triathlon, that sort of thing. Beverly can also see that she has a very gentle side.  
"Anything" Detective O'Brien asks?  
She shakes her head. "No. Didn't want food, barely looked at it though know he's gotta be hungry. Crayons, toys, he picks them up and then drops them on the floor. Goes right back to staring. Not a peep either. All I got is a name written on the tag of his shirt. William."  
Deanna feels like she's been hit in the stomach. If she and Will had ever had a son, he would have been called William. She gathers herself and asks, "what about the bear?"  
Miles explains. "We gave that to him. Got a nice group of ladies from the yarn shop. They make them to give to the kids. Makes them feel safer."  
Deanna nods. "He seems attached to it."  
Alyssa answers this time. "Yeah. He hasn't put it down."  
"That's actually good", Deanna tells her. "Means he's got something to comfort himself. Might make it easier to get him to trust us. Who actually gave it to him?"  
"I did" Alyssa answers.  
"Good. And you two have a relationship of sorts already. Mind coming in and sitting with us? You're welcome to talk, you've been talking to him already. Just no questions about what happened. Keep it light. We're just trying to get him to trust us."  
Alyssa nods. "So pretty much what I've been doing."  
"Yeah."

Deanna opens the door and let's Alyssa enter first. She talks soothingly to the boy as she sits back in her same chair. Deanna pulls out another and sits on the other side of the boy. She's thankful for once that she's so small, not only because she can sit in the child sized chair but also that she seems fairly non threatening. She starts speaking quietly.  
"Hi there. My name is Deanna? How are you doing? Can you tell me your name?" The boy looks  
at her, studying her face then looks away. Deanna glances at Alyssa and she shrugs. She turns her attention back to the boy.  
"William? Is that your name?" The boy looks at her again briefly. Deanna takes that as a good sign and keeps talking, her voice low and soft. The boy doesn't have much reaction to anything but he seems calm so she tries a bit more.  
"That's a lovely bear you have there William? Can I see it?"  
Slowly the boy lifts the toy and sets it in her outstretched hand.  
"Thank you William. He's adorable. Does he have a name? Did Detective Ogawa give him to you?"  
At her name, the boy looks at Alyssa. Deanna smiles. "That's great", she tells her. "He likes you."  
Alyssa smiles and leans toward William. "I'm glad you like him. He's a very special bear."  
William gently takes the bear from Deanna and places it in Alyssa's hands.  
"Thank you so much" she gushes. "I'm going to put him right here while we talk." She sets the bear on the table between them.  
Deanna talks to him again. "That was really nice William. Do you talk? Can you tell me your last name?" The boy doesn't say anything. He seems to be responding well to other requests and she suspects that he may be non verbal. She tries something else.  
"William? Would you like to color with me?" She takes the pad of blank paper and puts a sheet in front of William and takes one for herself. She holds out her hand with a couple of crayons and William takes one. He puts it to the paper but, instead of drawing lines, he starts tapping it, point down, each time leaving a colored mark. She offers another crayon and he does the same. She watches as he fills the paper with colored dots. She takes the paper and looks at it.  
"That's wonderful William. I'm going to have Alyssa tape it to the wall right here so we can look at it. The boy seems pleased so she offers another paper and he does the same thing. While he's working and Alyssa watches, she leaves the room to talk to Miles.  
"I'm pretty sure you're right. He shows a lot of autistic tendencies. And I think he's non-verbal. He seems calm enough but I want to do a few things before we start questioning him.  
She starts dictating a list of things she wants him to get for her.  
Fruit snacks  
Goldfish crackers  
A water bottle with a sports top  
The heaviest blanket he can find  
2 bean bag chairs  
A pop up tent or play house 

While he goes off to work on his shopping list, Deanna goes back into the room. She doesn't talk much. Just sits down with some crayons and paper and starts drawing shapes. 

About an hour later, she hears a tap on the window and goes to see what the detective was able to find. He's standing in the hallway with shopping bags hanging from his arm and two other officers, each holding a bean bag chair. In his hand is a Star Wars water bottle, already filled.  
"I've got one of my own his age" he explains. "He's nuts for Star Wars so I took a chance."  
Deanna smiles. "It's perfect. Why don't you all come in. Put up the tent in the corner and the bean bags inside."  
She takes the shopping bags and goes back to sit with William. She puts a small handful of each snack on separate pieces of paper and the water bottle. They are placed where he can easily see them but not directly in front indicating that they aren't his yet.  
"Are you hungry William? Would you like a snack?"  
He doesn't respond, just stares at the food. Deanna pulls out one of the drawings she has made. On it are 3 squares lined up across the paper. In 2 of the boxes are crude drawings of the snacks and their name. In the 3rd box is a picture of a bottle and the label 'water'. She puts the paper in front of William.  
"William, can you tell me which one you would like?"  
The boy hesitates for a second and then puts his finger on the picture of the goldfish. Deanna grins, thrilled that she's found the way that the boy communicates. She slides the paper with the crackers to him and he begins to eat. When he is done, she puts the paper back with a few more goldfish. She repeats the method several more times with William asking for crackers and then water. When he is done eating, she gives him another paper with a box that says 'bathroom' with simple drawing. He puts his finger on it. Alyssa volunteers to take him while Deanna goes to talk with O'Brien again. 

"I think he's ready to answer some questions" she tells him.  
"That was amazing!" Miles tells her. "How did you know to do that?"  
Deanna shrugs. "It's a pretty common communication method for non verbal kids."  
"And you're going to do the same for the rest of the questions?"  
She nods. "I've anticipated the ones I think you're going to need but if we need more as we go, let me know and I can draw them really quick. Another day I'll make up some cards to keep here. Nice for other kids too if they're scared."  
Miles is still amazed. "Guess you really are what everyone's been saying."  
Deanna eyes him. "What exactly have they been saying?"  
Miles just grins at her. 

Back in the room, Deanna introduces Detective O'Brien to William. Alyssa moves to the other side of the table with a pad to take notes while Miles takes her chair. Deanna sits on the other side.  
"Detective O'Brien is going to ask you some questions. If you get upset, there is a tent and some beanbags you can go lie in?"  
William glances toward the tent.  
"Yep. That's for you. But first we're going to talk. If you need a break, just show me this card and we can go in the tent."  
She puts a piece of paper with a picture of the tent and the word 'break'. 

Deanna slowly places several more cards in front of him.  
"This one here. This is you. This is William. Can you show me William?"  
The boy touches the card.  
"That's great William."  
She shows him another with a picture of a woman.  
"This is your mom." At the word, William grabs the stuffed bear and pulls it close to his chest.  
Deanna looks at Miles. "I think he's ready. Just go slow."  
Miles nods.  
"Hi William. My name is Detective O'Brien", he introduces himself again. "I want to find out what happened to your mom."  
At the word, William looks at the picture.  
"Good" Miles continues. "Your mom got hurt. We want to find out how she got hurt. Do you know how she got hurt?"  
Deanna made 'yes' and 'no' cards but she's not surprised when he ignores them.  
Miles continues.  
"Who hurt your mom William? Was it a man? Can you show me?"  
Deanna slides a picture of a male.  
"Is that who hurt your mom? Can you point to who did it?"  
William tentatively puts his finger on the man card.  
"Good" Deanna says. "Now I'm going to show you more cards. This one is mom. And this one is dad."  
William starts to get agitated at the word. Miles looks at Deanna but she shrugs. "It could just be that he misses him. Keep going. You're both doing great. Just remember you can take a break if you need it." She taps the 'break' card and William looks at the tent.  
"Just a few more questions William. And then we can go check it out together. Was it Dad that hurt mom?"  
William doesn't react. Deanna puts more cards out and explains them, brother, sister, grandpa, teacher. She moves the mom and dad card to new positions and nods for Miles to continue.  
"Can you point to who hurt your mom? I bet you can."  
William inspects each card then comes back to the one that says dad. "Is that it?" Miles asks, trying not to sound excited. "Is it dad that hurt mom?"  
This time William picks up the paper and hands it to him.  
"That seems pretty definitive", Deanna says.  
Miles nods. "Ya. Fits with the scene too. Someone she knew."  
He asks Deanna to draw some more pictures. First she draws a sun and a moon.  
"Was it day time?" He asks, pointing to the sun. "Or night?" William picks up the moon card.  
"Were you in bed?" Deanna shows William 3 more pictures. Tv. Eating. Bed.  
The boy points to the TV.  
"Ok William, you're doing great. One more question and we can go play. Did dad use something to hurt mom?"  
Deanna shows more cards. Baseball bat, lamp, stick, golf club. William immediately points to the golf club and starts to rock violently.  
"Give him the break card" Deanna says.  
William looks at the card and gets up to go to the tent. "I think you should go with him" Deanna suggests. "See if he likes pressure. The blanket or the beanbag on top of him. Let him direct what he wants."  
"I'll go see what Beverly has for us. See if the story matches up" Alyssa says as Miles clumsily tries to get his bulk through the small entrance to the tent.  
Deanna sighs and sits back in her chair. She watches the tent shake for a few moments. Satisfied that the two boys are ok, she leaves to go see what Beverly and Alyssa have to say. 

In the morgue, Beverly confirms that the woman was indeed beaten with a golf club. "Idiot used a driver. Everyone knows irons work better" she says dryly. She presents Alyssa with some dental charts and the serial number of a titanium plate in the woman's ankle. "Not the first time she was hurt" she says shaking her head.  
Alyssa goes back upstairs to follow up on their new information. Deanna just stands staring at the body of William's mother, still on the table. Beverly steps toward her.  
"Are you ok?" She asks quietly. "Alyssa said you were amazing with him."  
Deanna shrugs. She's not sure what she feels. Proud that she did the job well, happy that they know who likely killed the woman, sad for William and what he had to go through."  
"Do you need a hug?" Beverly asks. Deanna nods and Beverly pulls her close and wraps her arms around the smaller woman.  
Deanna feels tears coming and tries to stop them.  
"It's ok Dee. Cry if you need to. This job gets to you. That was tough for a first day. They say you'll get thick skin, but I never have. The kids especially. The kids always get to me."  
Deanna clings to her friend and let's her tears flow while Beverly gently rubs her back. Finally, Deanna pulls away.  
"Thank you. I...I don't know."  
Beverly reads her mind. "You can do this Dee. You proved that. You'll be fine. And when you're not, I'll be here."  
Deanna snuffles and wipes a new tear away.  
"Thanks. I'm going to sit for a few and then go check on William."  
"Good. I just need to clean up here. You need a glass of wine tonight?"  
Deanna shakes her head. "I'd love to. But my mom's still here. She's sure I will starve to death if she doesn't fill the freezer with food. Beverly tries but she can't quite see Lwaxana slaving away over a hot stove.  
"Ok. Just, if you need anything, even just to talk, call me. Ok?"  
Deanna nods. "I will. Thank you."

She spends a few minutes straightening her desk then grabs her things and heads upstairs. On her way out, she slips into the room to check on William. She finds him still inside the tent, his head on Miles' lap, sound asleep. The blanket and one of the beanbags are on top of him.  
"Good call" Miles tells her. "Put it on him and immediately calmed him down. Fell asleep almost instantly."  
Deanna smiles. "Good. He was probably exhausted, poor thing. Is there anything you need before I go?"  
Miles shakes his head. "Nah. Think we've got it. Alyssa's already got the surgeon who did the ankle on the phone. Should have a name soon then she can look for some family to come get him. She's a wiz with this computer stuff."  
"Well, ok. Call me if you need me."  
Miles makes a shooing motion with his hand and Deanna takes the hint. 

In spite of her emotional day, Deanna sleeps well and beats Beverly into the office again. She shows up a few minutes later with two coffees and the women sit and chat for a few minutes. Beverly is still concerned but Deanna assures her that she's fine. Her problems are much more of the maternal kind. Beverly laughs at that.  
"I thought your mother was wonderful."  
"Yeah that's just because you don't have to live with her" Deanna laughs. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my mother. She's just a bit too much sometimes."  
Beverly laughs too. "Well send her my way for a few."  
"Oh no you don't. I have way too many secrets that she would just love to share! I think I'll hold on to her."  
Beverly shrugs. "Suit yourself". She turns to her desk and opens the file sitting there. Deanna turns to do the same when Beverly suddenly remembers something.  
"Oh yeah. Lieutenant Worf up in White collar. He wanted a consult. Told him I'd tell you". 

Deanna spends much of the day working upstairs, helping build a profile for a guy running a small Ponzi scheme. Nothing hard, just some computer work. Trying to get the guy to bring in an undercover, creating his story. A lot of fun really. 

Late in the afternoon, she gets a call from the Chief's office. Can she stop by for a few on her way out. She can't think of any reason she might be chastised but she still has to wipe her palms on her pants before going in. 

"Deanna. Hi. Just wanted to check in, see how things were going."  
His voice and body posture tell her nothing bad is going to happen and Deanna gives him a smile of relief.  
"It's been good. Busy. But I like that. Still getting to know people but everyone has been wonderful so far."  
Picard smiles back. "I heard about yesterday. Well done. O'Brien and Ogawa, they wanted me to let you know that they picked up the kid's dad. Grandmother came and got the boy, confirmed their suspicions about the abuse. Videotape of you with the kid will go a long way with the court."  
Deanna smiles broadly. "I'm really happy to hear that. Thank you."  
"And thank you. I knew we made the right choice. From what I've heard, you're fitting right in."  
Deanna smiles. "I'm trying. Not so good with names but I'll get it."  
"I'm sure you will."  
He pauses. She's sure he has more he wants to say but he seems uncomfortable with whatever it is. She waits.  
"I've noticed..." He clears his throat. "I've noticed that you and Beverly seem to be getting on well."  
Deanna nods. "We have. I really like her."  
He nods. "Yeah. She's had it rough. She needs a friend. A good friend."  
"You've known her a long time?"  
He reaches his hand to rub the back of his neck. "Yeah. I have. She's special. Anyway, she talks a lot about you. I just wanted to make sure, you know, well I'm glad she's found a friend in you."  
Deanna waits but he doesn't seem to want to explain any more. She breaks the silence.  
"Thank you again. And for letting me know about William. I'm glad things are going to work out for him."  
Picard nods and Deanna lets herself out. 'That was certainly a curious conversation' she thinks. Seems there's a lot more going on around here than one would expect.


	5. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly finally shares one of her secrets with Deanna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think and if I'm on the right track. I know we're moving slow but we'll get there. They still have a lot to figure out.

Wednesday morning, Deanna shows up with two cups of coffee. Beverly is already in the office, waiting.   
"Well it's about time! I thought maybe you forgot."  
"Of course not. It was my turn. I'm odd."  
Beverly gives her a wicked grin. "Why yes. Yes you are."  
Deanna plays angry. "You did that on purpose!"  
Beverly laughs at her. "Yes I did. Get used to it. It's still going to be funny on Friday. And Tuesday and Thursday..."  
"I get it. I get it." Deanna stomps to her desk and plops herself into her chair, trying to ignore Beverly snickering behind her.

The rest of the week goes pretty much the same. Deanna stays busy helping out with different cases, doing research on various things, anything she can do to help out. 'The Boys' begin to tease her. Beverly says that means she's part of the family now. Deanna plays along for the most part, getting her licks in when she can. She's had a wonderful first week and she's looking to celebrate.

Deanna waits until Beverly is finished cleaning up her last 'customer' and goes to talk. 

"So, my mom's been badgering me to bring you back by. She's leaving tomorrow. At least she's supposed to. She says she won't go until you come over. So pleeeeaaase come to dinner. I'll owe you big time."

Beverly laughs. "Well since you put it that way...how can I resist? A favor eh? I'll have to make sure it's a good one. There will be wine won't there?"  
"Indubitably"   
As they leave the building and walk toward their cars, Beverly confesses, "you wanna know a secret, I loaded my soft boards into the car this morning, you know, just in case."  
Deanna laughs. "You really think you're going to get me onto one of those huh?"  
Beverly just smiles. 

Beverly shows Deanna a "secret route" to get out to Santa Monica, one that misses most of the late afternoon traffic on I10. Deanna has the top of her convertible down and her George Strait up loud. She pulls into her driveway and Beverly parks behind her. She waits for Beverly to catch up before going into the house. Deanna tries to warn her that her mother may have new questions worked up for her. Beverly dismisses her.   
"I told you I like your mom. She's fun. Don't worry about me."  
She reaches and picks a windblown curl off of Deanna's forehead and tucks it behind her ear.   
"Shall we?"  
Deanna nods and waves for Beverly to go first. 

As they enter the house, Lwaxana jumps up from where she's been reading on the couch.   
"Well it's about time!" She says, kissing Deanna on the cheek.   
"And you brought Bevy! How nice to see you again dear!"  
Beverly shoots Deanna a dirty look. Deanna raises her hands in helplessness.   
"I swear I didn't say a word!"  
Lwaxana looks between the two of them.   
"What? What did I miss?"  
Beverly doesn't like to be called Bevy mother."  
Lwaxana waves her hand in Deanna's face.   
"Well of course she does dear. Come Bevy. Come sit with me while Deanna puts dinner in the oven. Deanna dear, there's a lemon chicken in the fridge. Pop it in the oven. And why don't you get me some of that wine I like. What is it again? Oh it doesn't matter. I won't remember it anyway. Bring Bevy a glass too. And get one for yourself if you like."

Deanna listens to the whole thing with exasperation then goes to the kitchen, muttering to herself "I'm going to need a really big glass."

When she comes back, Beverly and Lwaxana are sitting together on the couch, holding hands while Lwaxana goes on about Deanna's childhood. Deanna stands and listens for a few until Lwaxana starts to tell how she didn't have friends because she read all the time and how worried she was about her daughter until Will started coming around.   
Deanna tries to interrupt. "Mother!"  
Lwaxana waves her hand at her again.   
"Shh dear. Sit down. I'm just telling Bevy about how you were an awkward child and how happy we were that William took an interest in you."   
"I know mother" is all Deanna can say. 

It's Beverly who finally rescues her. "It's going to be a while until dinner right? Why don't we go down to the beach for a bit. I brought some boards and I was hoping to teach Deanna before we have too much wine. I brought 2. I'd love to teach you too Lwaxana."  
Lwaxana laughs loudly.   
"Oh child! You can't possibly think I'm going to get on one of those Booger boards!"  
"Boogie mother. They're called Boogie Boards."  
"Whatever. It's still undignified. But if you two want to go I will come down and watch."  
"So how about it?" Beverly asks Deanna.   
Deanna shrugs. "I suppose we can try it. But I'm really not good at that sort of stuff."  
"Oh you'll be fine." Beverly tells her with a grin as she runs to her car to get her bag and boards. 

Down on the beach, Beverly attaches the board leash to her wrist and one to Deanna's.   
"What's this for?" Deanna asks.   
"It's so you don't lose your board if you get tumbled?"  
Deanna starts to panic a bit.   
"What do you mean tumbled? How am I going to lose the board? I thought I was going to be on the board? Oh Beverly. I really don't think I'm ready for this."  
Beverly puts her hand on Deanna's shoulder.   
"It's ok Dee. I won't let anything happen. I'll be right next to you the whole time. And besides, look at the waves. It's mostly flat. Nothing at all to worry about."  
Deanna glances at the waves. They don't look flat to her at at all. She winces when a probable tidal wave crashes with a thunderous noise.   
She shakes her head but she follows Beverly out into the surf anyway, trying to concentrate on the directions she's being given. 

Beverly leads her out to the surf line.   
"Now lay down on the board."  
Deanna pulls the butt of it tight to her stomach and tentatively lifts her feet. She's gripping the front of the board so tight she's making dents in foam. Beverly lets her board drift while she holds the nose of Deanna's.   
"Ok. There's a good one coming. When I say to, start kicking like hell."   
She yells go and Deanna starts kicking. She feels Beverly give her a big push and then, suddenly, she feels the wave grab hold of the board and she's rushed forward as the water crashes around her. She hears herself laughing all the way into the shallows.   
Beverly catches the next wave and finds Deanna grounded in the sand, still prone, clutching the board."  
"Oh my god Beverly! That was amazing! What a rush! Can we do it again?"  
Beverly laughs at her enthusiasm.   
"Of course."  
They go back out into the water and Beverly helps her catch several more waves before she suggests that they go in and check on dinner.   
"Just one more. Please?" Deanna begs.   
"You wanna try it by yourself this time?"  
Deanna thinks.   
"Maybe we should go in."  
Beverly laughs at her. "Chicken!"  
Deanna ignores her and Beverly makes clucking noises at her back all the way up the sand. 

By the time they reach the house, Lwaxana has dinner out on the patio just table. They both pull t-shirts on over their suits and sit down for dinner. They take their time, laughing and drinking wine. Beverly and Deanna clean up while Lwaxana brings out a dark chocolate mousse with local strawberries. Deanna clutches her heart when she sees it.  
"Oh my god Mother! You're trying to kill me!"   
Lwaxana explains to Beverly, "Chocolate. Deanna has a thing for chocolate. The darker the better. It's her Achilles Heel."  
"I'll remember that." Beverly laughs.   
Deanna doesn't say anything. She's already in her chair sampling her dessert.

Beverly asks questions about Deanna's childhood and Lwaxana is happy to provide all of the details, punctuated by the occasional "Mother!"from Deanna. When she gets to the part about being the heir to the throne of Beta, Deanna calls time.  
"Don't tell her that Mother. I'm not really a princess. You know that."   
Lwaxana gets serious.   
"But you are Deanna. Don't be ashamed of who you are. Be proud of it. Even if no one else cares, it's something that's important to me. And it should be important to you too." Beverly nudges Deanna with her elbow. "She's right Dee. Not everyone has a heritage to be proud of."  
Both Lwaxana and Deanna see the sadness in her eyes. When Lwaxana opens her mouth to ask, Deanna surreptitiously shakes her head. She's thankful that, for once, Lwaxana lets it go.

Brought down by the change in mood, Lwaxana yawns and stretches.   
"Well, I'm going to go to bed. I've got a long day tomorrow."  
Beverly starts to stand with her. "I should probably go too. It's getting late."  
Lwaxana waves her hand at her.  
"Oh no you don't, Child, just because I'm leaving. You two stay and talk. I'm sleeping with Deanna tonight so you can have the guest room. I heard about your famous omelettes and I'm expecting one in the morning."  
With that she blows kisses and heads off toward the bedroom.

Beverly sits back down and Deanna asks, "I hope that's OK. She can get a bit pushy. You don't need to stay."  
Beverly gives her a smile. "Another secret? I brought an over night bag. You know. Just in case."  
Deanna smiles. "Good. Then it's settled."  
She goes to get more wine while Beverly sits back into the cushions. She's lost in thought when Deanna comes back. The feeling in the room is somewhat awkward and they sip their wine in silence. Finally Deanna asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"  
Beverly tries to feign innocence.  
"What do you mean?"   
Deanna shrugs. "What my mom said. It bothered you. There's something. I am a profiler you know. It's my job to figure these things out."  
Beverly shrugs and Deanna continues.  
"And Picard said some curious things the other..."  
Beverly interrupts her.  
"Oh my god! What did he say?. I am going to kill him. This is so embarrassing!"  
"Don't worry. He didn't really tell me anything. He just said you were special.."  
Beverly rolls her eyes.   
"And that you've had it rough."  
"I am so going to kill him for this!" Beverly repeats.  
"You can tell me. I mean if you want to. Maybe I can help?"  
Beverly shakes her head. "There's nothing to help. I just...I wasn't as lucky as you, with a mother who cared and all." She's staring at the wall now. Deanna waits. After a few moments, Beverly starts to tell pieces of her story.

"My mother wasn't...she wasn't exactly the mothering type."  
She pauses and Deanna wonders if she's going to continue.  
"What do mean?" She prompts.  
"She was a prostitute. I never knew my dad. I assume he was one of her, um, customers."  
"Oh god Beverly. I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me any more. Really. It's none of my business."  
Beverly takes her hand.  
"No. I want to tell you. To get it out. No one knows. Well no one but Jean-Luc."  
Deanna nods.  
"She was killed. Working. I was 6. That's how we met. Jean-Luc and I. He was working the case."  
Deanna is startled by the information. She had just assumed that their relationship had been romantic.  
"He found my grandmother. She and my mother, they hadn't talked. She didn't even know I existed. She took me in. She tried to love me but it was hard. She said I looked just like my mom. And I was a handful. I mean, I had never been to school. I had seen too much. I acted out. I mostly kept to myself."  
She's squeezing Deanna's hand so tight that it's starting to hurt but Deanna doesn't say anything. She can't imagine what Beverly went through but she knows that talking about it will help.   
"I loved school. It was the only place I felt like I belonged. Not with the other kids but with the teachers. And the work. I loved science. Read everything I could get my hands on. My grandmother was an herbalist. I loved that too and we forged a relationship of sorts. I learned all about natural remedies and horticulture. That was when I decided to become a doctor. When she died, I didn't have anyone. That's when Jean-luc came back into my life. He had stayed in touch with my grandmother. I had no idea. He took me in as a foster. I was 16 then. He made sure I went to college. On to medical school. I loved that too. But I wasn't so good with people. Jean-Luc introduced me to his medical examiner and that was pretty much that. Later, when Dr. Selah retired, he helped me get this job."

Deanna sits quietly, trying to absorb all of this new information about her friend. She searches her memories, looking for something psychologist-ish to say. Beverly lets her off the hook.  
"It's ok Dee. It's all in the past. I have everything I want now. I've got my dream job and I've got Jean-Luc. And now I've got you." She squeezes Deanna's hand. Deanna watches as she blinks away a tear in her pale blue eyes. 

They sit quietly for a few more minutes before Deanna notices she's still holding Beverly's hand. Suddenly conscious of it, she pulls her hand away and reaches for her wine glass. She looks back at Beverly and finds her staring at her.  
"Can I ask you something?" Beverly asks.  
"Sure."  
"Do I make you uncomfortable?"  
"What? Why? No of course not."  
"It's just, well, I can be kind of touchy feely. You seem, I don't know, that maybe you don't like it."  
Deanna feels her cheeks turn red.  
"No. It's not that. It's new to me. It's just different I guess. I'm not used to it."  
Beverly looks down.  
"I'll try to remember."  
"Oh no. It's OK. Really. I kind of like it. It's just new and all. I've never had anyone besides Will, I've never been close to anyone else like this."  
Beverly nods but she doesn't reach for Deanna's hand again.

Beverly makes breakfast in the morning. While they are eating, Lwaxana remembers something.   
"Oh Little One. I forgot. When you take me to the airport, you can pick up William at the same time."  
"Mother! What? How long have you known he was coming?"   
Lwaxana dismisses her with a wave of her hand.   
"He called the other day. I told him it was fine. He wants to see you Deanna. Don't you want to see him?."  
Deanna sighs. "Of course Mother. I just wish you had told me before. So I could be prepared."  
Lwaxana gives her a puzzled look. "Why on earth would you have to be prepared for your husband to come visit?"  
Deanna sighs again. "No reason. Thank you for telling me." She doesn't correct her mother about the 'husband' thing. She still hasn't told Beverly, though she's not sure why. And Lwaxana wouldn't listen anyway. 

Beverly stands to clear the table. "I should be getting home anyway. Rudi is probably wondering where I am."  
"Rudi? I had no idea you were married Dear. You must tell me all about him."  
"Mother, Rudi is a cat."  
"Oh. I see. So you're not married then. Too bad."  
Deanna opens her mouth to chastise her again. Lwaxana holds up her hands in surrender.  
Beverly laughs quietly.  
"It's OK Dee."

They have a brief discussion about whether or not Beverly should leave her boards at Deanna's or take them home. They decide to leave them although Deanna assures her that she will not be using them in Beverly's absence.   
"Well, maybe Will will want one." Beverly offers.  
Deanna smiles. "I'm sure he will love it. Thank you."

Beverly gives a big hug and a kiss to Lwaxana and tells Deanna she'll see her on Monday, leaving Deanna and her mother alone to talk.  
"Well she certainly is a nice girl." Lwaxana tells her. "And so pretty too. I'm glad you found her Little One. She does seem to like you a lot."  
Deanna smiles. "I like her too Mother."  
Lwaxana gives her a knowing kind of smile. "Good. Good."


	6. Will Riker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will comes to visit Deanna. There are still things that he and Deanna need to work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's such a short one this time. The next will be much longer and hopefully start answering some questions.

Deanna kisses her mother goodbye in the airport and goes to find a coffee stand to relax and wait for Will. While she sips her coffee, she tries to digest everything that's happened in the last few days. Everyone is acting a bit odd, from the curious things Jean-luc and her mother said to Beverly sharing her secrets. Something is off. Something she can't quite see yet but others do. 

Deanna is suddenly nervous standing at the edge of security, waiting for Will. She's excited to see him. It's only been 3 weeks but she feels like a whole different person. She's afraid that things may be awkward between them and she really doesn't want that. 

As soon as she sees his face, all of her doubts disappear. He smiles broadly when he sees her, dropping his bag and taking her up in his arms.   
"I've missed you Deanna!" He says as he swings her in a circle.  
"I've missed you too." She realizes that she really means it. She feels safe in his arms and things feel, for a minute, like they used to be. She kisses him. She only intended it to be a friendly kiss but, as soon as their lips touch, they let emotion take control of them. Finally, Will lets her go. His voice is hoarse when he speaks.  
"Why don't you show me this new house you've been talking about."

Deanna shows him around the common areas of the house and then they decide to go for a walk on the beach before going out to dinner. Will takes her hand as they walk and Deanna can't help but think of Beverly. She likes that too, she decides. She'll tell her that the next time she gets a chance.

Will tells her all about the gossip at home while they leisurely dine on crab and wine. When they arrive back at the house, things feel awkward again.   
"It's OK Deanna. I'll sleep in the guest room." He tells her. "After all, it's not like we're really married anymore."  
Deanna feels her cheeks flush.  
"No. You don't have to. I've kind of missed you. And having a warm body in bed with me."  
He snorts. "Is that all I am to you? A warm body?"  
Deanna laughs. "Pretty much."  
She suddenly get serious.   
"Really though, I have missed you. I do still love you. I just wish..."  
Will cuts her off.  
"Deanna! We've talked about this. This is what's best. For both of us. You were never happy there. And I can't be happy if you aren't. Maybe someday. But for now, you belong here. And I belong there."  
"I know." Deanna whispers. "But we can still enjoy our time together?"  
He grins. "I thought you would never ask!"  
He sweeps her up in his arms and carries her to the bed room.

As he lays her down on the bed, her hair fans out and he stops and stares.  
"What?"  
"Nothing. It's just that you're so beautiful. I forgot how beautiful you really are."  
Deanna doesn't say anything, just reaches out her arms and pulls him down with her.


	7. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna and Will invite Beverly over for a BBQ and surfing lesson. More secrets are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've all been waiting so patiently for this moment... Deanna finally figures it out. With a little help. And bye bye to my G rating! As always, comments and help are always welcome. The more I get, the sooner you get.... lol

Deanna bounces into the office Monday morning. Beverly hands her a coffee and says good morning but nothing else. Sensing she's not in the mood to talk, Deanna goes straight to her desk to see what presents 'the boys' have left for her. 

By the time she's ready for lunch, Beverly is nowhere to be found. Deanna is disappointed. She wonders if Beverly might be embarrassed by the things she shared on Friday night. She'll talk to her about it, about how pleased she was that Beverly trusted her enough to tell anything. Still, she wonders if there might be something more.

She decides to go look for Alyssa Ogawa for lunch. She and the detective had good vibes while working together with little William. It would be good to try to make other friends, not be so dependent on Beverly. The two women go for a nice lunch and talk for a while. Deanna is surprised when Alyssa brings up Beverly's name.

"So you and Dr. Crusher seem to be getting close?"  
Deanna looks at her with curiosity.  
"I suppose so. I like her a lot. We have fun together."  
Alyssa nods.  
"Yeah. I like her too. Everyone does. She just usually keeps pretty much to herself."  
That surprises Deanna. Beverly has been so open and friendly with her, she just assumed that was her personality with everyone.  
"Really? I didn't get that impression at all. She's been really nice, helping me get settled and all."  
Alyssa nods. "Don't get me wrong. She's really sweet. We all kind of look out for her. You know. Especially the Chief. They have a special relationship. No one really knows much about it. Lots of rumors. Just so you know."

Deanna is even more confused than she was before. This is the second time someone has alluded that Beverly might be fragile in some way. And they all feel like they need to take care of her. She almost feels like they're warning her about something. It's just not the impression of the confident, outgoing woman that Deanna knows. Even more curious is the fact that she shared so much about herself when, apparently, no one else knows  
much about her story.

Back in the office, Deanna hunts Beverly down. She finds her coming out of Picard's office and falls in step beside her. After a few moments of silence, she asks,  
"Beverly, is everything OK?"  
Beverly answers but doesn't look at her,  
"Everything is fine."  
"Obviously it's not. Do you want to talk about it?"  
"Not really."  
"Is it something I did? Or said? Because I thought everything was good Saturday when you left."  
Beverly finally turns to look at her.  
"I said it's fine. Can we leave it at that?"  
She speeds up and leaves Deanna behind. Deanna heads down to her office and tries to work on a few cases.

Sometime later, she hears Beverly come in and shut the door. Beverly sits on the edge of her own desk but doesn't say anything. Deanna ignores her. Finally Beverly decides to talk.  
"It's not anything you did or said."  
Deanna turns around and waits for her to explain.  
Beverly sighs.  
"I guess I just got to thinking this weekend. When you came here, you were new to town, new to the building. I just wanted to make friends, you know, show you around, help you get settled. But I like you Deanna. I mean I really like you." 

She pauses. When Deanna doesn't answer, she sighs and continues.  
"Maybe we were getting too close. I know you don't understand. This is for me really. I think I need to take a step back, not spend so much time, let you make other friends. Now that Will is here, you don't really need me hanging around like a lost puppy. Intruding into your life so much."  
She's hoping Deanna will understand but it's clear she doesn't.

"That's not how I feel", Deanna tells her. "I like you too. I want us to be friends. I like having you around. I was thinking maybe I was the one intruding. Taking up all of your time when maybe you have friends, other things you want to do than hang out with me just because I'm lonely. And then I started pushing you to tell me things. Things that maybe you didn't want to share. So I understand if you want some time. But I do want us to be friends. I have so much fun when you're around."  
Beverly smiles but her eyes still look sad. "I'd like that too but maybe not so much. You've got Will to keep you company now."  
"Well, Will wants to meet you. We were hoping that maybe you could come over tomorrow for a BBQ. He's a true Texan. BBQ what he does best. You can bring Jean-Luc, anyone really. I've never even asked if you're seeing anyone?"

Beverly shakes her head. "I'm not. Haven't in a very long time. I've always been too busy with my work. You know, not so good with people. I have trouble explaining what it is I want to say."  
Deanna smiles, glad that, even if she doesn't understand what the problem was, Beverly seems to have worked it out.  
"So right after work then?" She asks.  
Beverly nods. "Sure, ummm, I'll be right back." 

Beverly returns a few minutes later looking a lot happier than when she left.  
"OK. It's all worked out. Jean-Luc will stop by for a few after work but, since there aren't really any cases that need our full attention, we can work in the morning and then take off at lunch. That way I can help you shop or whatever you need help with and...oh shit! I'm doing it again aren't I? I'm really sorry Deanna. Why don't you just tell me what time and..."

Deanna cuts her off.  
"Let's make a deal ok? If you stop apologizing, I'll let you know when you're intruding, which, by the way, is not now. I would love the help. It will save me having to do it all tonight and Will would love a lesson or two on the board. He's been swearing at it all weekend."  
Beverly laughs. "OK. It's a deal I suppose."

The next day, the two women do their shopping for the BBQ and Beverly follows Deanna out to the beach house. On the driveway, Deanna pulls Beverly close. "Will is really looking forward to meeting you. I've talked too much about you. I think maybe he's getting a bit jealous."  
As she turns to go into the house, Beverly mutters to herself, "he's not the only one."

They find Will on the patio tinkering with the huge new gas BBQ he insisted on buying. Deanna lowers her voice so only Beverly can hear, "I told him it was too big. What am I going to do with that monster? But you know, boys and their toys. In Texas, manhood is decided by the size of your grill."

Beverly stifles a laugh as Deanna gets Will's attention. She starts to introduce Beverly but Will doesn't wait for formal introductions. With a huge grin on his face, he grabs Beverly and pulls her into a hug. "Beverly! It's good to finally meet you! You're all Deanna can talk about, you and her job. I want to thank you for anything you did to help her get it. And for being a friend and helping her get settled."

Beverly blushes. "As for the job, I didn't do anything. Deanna did that all by herself. The rest has been my pleasure. It's so nice to finally meet you."

Will nods. "She also promised you'd teach me to ride that infernal board. Can't seem to stay on the dang thing."  
Beverly laughs. "Well you are a bit big for it. That could be part of the problem. Tell you what, you help me get my hard boards off the top of the car and I'll try to teach you the real thing."  
Will gets excited. "Really? Real California surfing? By a real California surfer? And a gorgeous one too. This is just perfect. The guys at home will be SO jealous!"  
Beverly laughs. "Oh I'm sure you'll have quite a story to tell. And thank you. I do appreciate it."

Will looks at Deanna who nods for him to go ahead and he practically runs through the house to Beverly's car.  
"You sure this is OK? You don't need any help?"  
Deanna shakes her head. "No. You two go have fun. He's always wanted to learn to surf. I'll manage for a while here."  
Beverly grins at her and goes to help Will with the boards. She finds him studying the rack holding her boards to the top of her car. Beverly unlocks it and shows him how to open it and he takes them through the house while she retrieves her bag with her suit and board wax.

After they change, Beverly shows him how to wax the board and then gives him a quick lesson on the sand about how to get to his feet from prone in one fluid motion. He learns quickly and they venture into the water.

As with any skill, it isn't quite as easy as it looks, even for an athlete like Will. After one particularly comical fall, Will looks up to see Deanna standing on the beach laughing. He forgets lesson number one about the ocean and pauses to wave to her. A large breaker hits him in the back and knocks him flat. He comes up only to find another wave breaking into his face. He goes down again. By the time he gets his feet under him, Beverly is there to help. She grabs his arm and turns him to the next wave and they dive under it. She decides he's had enough and they head back toward to shore. 

Deanna meets them at the water's edge. As she checks Will over for injury, Beverly gives a little lesson on how to handle such incidences. "First of all, never turn your back on the ocean. She'll get you every time. And when you do get tumbled, don't fight it. Curl up and let the wave push you in. And remember, the sand is always down."

Deanna giggles at that but Will puts his two cents in. "It sounds funny but she's right. I was totally lost. Everything was black and so loud. All I could think about was getting out of it but I couldn't."  
Beverly agrees. "It's easy to panic, to forget simple things like gravity. It's easier to just go with the flow, so to speak."  
Deanna laughs at her again. 

Will collapses into the sand. "I'm done. But I'd love to see how the experts do it."

Beverly blushes but takes the leash from Will's ankle and wraps it around her own. As Will and Deanna watch, she pushes her board to deeper water and lays on top of it. She paddles out to the surf line, gently putting the sharp nose of her board to the curling waves and gliding through to the other side. Choosing her wave, she positions her board on top, just before the break. In one swift move, she pushes to standing as her board slides down the surface of the wave. She takes it into the 'tube' where the wave breaks horizontally to the shore then, as it loses force, she cuts back over the surf and gracefully drops herself back down. She picks up her board and, with a shake of her red hair, walks out of the water, back to where Will and Deanna are sitting. 

Will claps his hands as she nears and she blushes again as she drops into the sand next to Deanna.  
"That was amazing!" Will tells her.  
Beverly shakes her head. "Nah. You just need some more practice. You'll get it."  
"Not today I won't" he said as he stands. "I'm going to go put the ribs on, get them started. You two stay here." They both watch as he walks up the beach toward the house.

Deanna watches as Beverly absently rubs her fingers along the smooth edge of her board. It makes her want to think of something but she can't quite figure out what it is.  
"I think he likes you", she tells Beverly.  
Beverly smiles. "Of course he does. I'm lovable."  
Deanna laughs again.  
"I like him too." Beverly continues. "You're very lucky."  
Deanna doesn't see the sadness in her eyes.

After a few minutes spent in thought, Deanna asks "Do you think you could teach me to do that?"  
Beverly smiles. "Of course. Now?"  
"Maybe. But on the sand. Like you did with Will. I don't want to go into the water yet."

They get up and Beverly shows her how to lie on the board and push to standing. After several tries, Deanna gets it somewhat smoothly. Beverly tries to direct her to turn her feet and hips to control the board but Deanna doesn't understand. Finally, without thinking, Beverly grabs her hips on either side and turns them. Suddenly realizing she's touching Deanna fairly inappropriately, she steps back, mumbling apologies. Deanna turns to look at her. Beverly stares at the sand between them.  
"What's wrong? It's OK. I mean I..."  
Not exactly sure what to say, she decides to just let it go.  
"Maybe we should go up and see if Will needs any help."  
Beverly nods but she still won't look at Deanna.

Will immediately senses their change in mood and does his best to inject humor back into the party. By the time Jean-Luc Picard arrives, everyone is laughing again. Jean-Luc and Will take immediately to each other and head out to the patio, beers in hand, to finish the meat. Beverly and Deanna put the finishing touches on the sides and salads. Deanna pushes all of her concerns out of her head and the quartet have a wonderful time telling stories, each one more outrageous than the last.

Finally, Jean-Luc stands and stretches.  
"I've had a wonderful time but tomorrow is a work day."  
He holds out his hand to Will and kisses Deanna on the cheek. He then turns to Beverly.  
"Can I speak to you outside?"  
Beverly nods and bids her good-byes then follows him out of the house.

Will stands to clear the table.  
"That was certainly odd."  
Deanna nods. "Yeah. There is something going on there. I just can't figure it out yet."  
Will laughs. "I could hazard a guess," he offers.  
Thinking he's talking about Picard and Beverly, she gives him a brief outline on their history.  
"Well I suppose that might explain it." He remarks.  
Deanna doesn't ask him what he means.

Deanna and Will sit together, finishing their bottle of wine. Will sighs.  
"I suppose I should start getting my things packed. I have an early flight in the morning."  
Deanna sighs as well. "I wish you didn't have to go."  
"I know Deanna. But I have to."  
"I know." She sighs again. "I just wish..."  
"Don't. Please don't Deanna. This is hard enough."  
"Will you come back?"  
"I don't know."  
She nods. "Can we at least have tonight?"  
He smiles and kisses her. "Just tonight."

They walk to the bedroom and slowly undress each other. She tries to memorize every little part of him. She's sure she'll never love another man the way that she loves him. As they move their hands over each other's bodies, Will tries to make a joke.  
"Wouldn't it be funny if this time you actually got pregnant?"  
Deanna freezes, cascades of thoughts running through her head. When she thinks back, she'll know that this is the exact moment she finally lets him go.

"No Will. That wouldn't be funny at all. That's not what I want. Not anymore."  
Will immediately feels bad. "I'm sorry Deanna. I didn't mean it. I was kidding. That's not what I want either. I mean, I suppose that ship has already sailed and we'll deal with it if we have to. But now, now I think maybe we shouldn't push our luck."  
"Maybe we should do something else instead." She says as she slides her hand up his leg.  
"Mmmm. I like the way you think." He says with a grin.

There is no more talking as Deanna starts with her hand and then with her mouth. She encircles the base of his penis with her fingers, squeezing hard while she moves her tongue up and down his length. When she's sure he can't wait another second, she releases him and he explodes almost violently. She crawls back up his lean muscular body and snuggles under his arm as he tries to catch his breath.  
"God Deanna" he says hoarsely. "You are good at that!"  
She smiles. "Just something to miss me by."  
He laughs. "But what a memory!"  
Deanna laughs too and snuggles deeper.  
"Oh no." He says. "We're not done here."  
"We're not?"  
"No" he says with a smile as he moves down between her legs.  
She sighs deeply as he begins to touch her. By the time he is done, she's biting her lip, trying not to cry out. He smiles at her.  
"You always did like that best." She doesn't have enough breath to answer. 

Deanna rolls up onto her elbow. She watches her fingers as they swirl in his chest hair. "Will?"  
"Hmmm" he answers sleepily.  
She asks the question she's been wanting to ask all weekend.  
"Will? Are you seeing anyone?"  
He rolls over to face her.  
"Yeah. Kinda. A woman at work. We're just talking. You don't know her. Are you OK with this?"  
"Of course. I want you to find someone. You deserve to be happy."  
"She's nothing like you. I don't want to replace you."  
"I know'' she says quietly. 

"So what about you?"  
"Oh I haven't had time to meet anyone yet." She tells him.  
He's quiet for a few seconds.  
"What about Beverly?"  
"What? What about her?"  
Will laughs. "Oh c'mon Deanna. You don't see how she looks at you. That is a woman in love if I've ever seen one.""  
Deanna is still confused.  
"No. What? No...."  
She thinks back and suddenly the puzzle pieces begin to fall into place.  
"Oh. Oh I am so stupid. You really think? I feel awful. She tried to tell me and I was such an idiot. Do you think? Really?"  
Will chuckles softly. "Yeah I think. What about you?"  
"What do you mean?"  
He laughs again.  
"What do you mean what do I mean? You like her. You talk about her all the time. I've never seen you be so comfortable with another person. Do you, could you like her that way too?"  
Deanna rolls back to her pillow.  
"I don't know. I've never really thought about it. What about you? What would you think?"  
He runs his fingers through her hair. "I like her. And I think that anyone who makes you happy is good with me. Promise me you'll at least talk to her?"

Will falls asleep while Deanna lies awake, staring at the ceiling. Beverly is gay? How did she miss that? What a genius profiler she is. She can't even tell when someone is hitting on her. Or was she? She tries to think. They're both awkward. Is that what brought them together? Or is it something else? Is there an attraction? Is that who she is? She's not opposed on principle. Is that excitement at the possibility she feels? Will is right. She and Beverly need to have a talk.


	8. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna and Beverly finally come clean with each other about their feelings and relationships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the reads and kudos and especially the comments. I've been having a great time so far, even if I am putting off the criminal minds part. soon I promise. Strangely I'm good at relationships, angst and love scenes but not so much with actual plot!

Deanna arrives late on Wednesday morning, after dropping Will off at the airport. She expects Beverly to tease her or at least acknowledge that she is late for the first time but the woman never lifts her eyes from the computer screen in front of her.  
"Your coffee is on your desk. Probably cold."  
Deanna starts to explain but Beverly flips her hand at her.  
"Don't care. I'm not your boss."  
She gets up and leaves Deanna standing alone in their shared office.  
Deanna shakes her head in frustration. "This again? Great. Just great."  
She sits at her desk but she doesn't get much work done. 

Lunch comes and goes and Beverly still doesn't return. Deanna can see her backpack on the floor next to her desk so she is fairly certain Beverly will come back at some point. She'll wait all night if she has to. 

Beverly finally returns about 4:00. She avoids Deanna again and turns her chair toward her computer monitor. Before she can flip it back on, Deanna is standing in front of her.  
"We need to talk."  
"No. We don't."  
"Beverly? Why are we doing this again?"  
Beverly flicks her eyes to Deanna's face and then away again.  
"WE aren't doing anything. I have work to do."  
"Fine." Deanna says, her tone harsher than she meant it to be. "But we ARE going to talk about this?"  
Beverly sits back in her chair, resignation on her face. "We've talked. Nothing has changed. I let myself...I can't. I just can't. I'm going to talk to Jean-Luc about finding you an office upstairs. It will be easier for both of us."  
Deanna is stunned. She gets it now. How Beverly has been feeling. How stupid she has been, encouraging her without meaning too. Not understanding what Beverly has been telling her. She quiets her voice.  
"I don't want that. I don't think you do either. Can we please just go somewhere and talk? I promise I'll listen this time. Please?"  
Beverly closes her eyes. "Ok."

Deanna leads Beverly to the wine bar they went to on that first night. They walk silently to a small table in the back. Neither of them talk. Deanna watches Beverly as she stares at her hands on the table. She finally gets the courage to talk.  
"I owe you an explanation. And an apology. I haven't been completely honest with you."  
That gets Beverly's attention and she finally looks up.  
Deanna takes a deep breath. "I took Will to the airport this morning."  
Beverly's face shows surprise but she still doesn't speak.  
"He went back to Texas. He went home."  
Beverly looks confused. "I thought he was moving out here?"  
Deanna shakes her head. "No. Will and I, we aren't together anymore."  
Now that she's said it, she gets the courage to say the rest.  
"Will and I are divorced. That was part of why he came out. To sign the papers."  
"But I thought you two were so happy. You seemed to be..."  
Deanna nods. "I know. And we are, were, when we're together. It's easy to pretend that everything is good. Don't get me wrong. We both still love each other. It's just that, well he encouraged me to go to school. Then to move out here for this job. I wasn't good for him back home. I wasn't good for myself. We decided it's better this way. That we have separate lives. He's ummmm, he's already seeing someone." 

Beverly looks shocked. All of her frustration and anger disappears. All she can think about is her friend.  
"Oh Deanna! I am so sorry. I didn't know. You should have told me. I wouldn't have been such a bitch to you if I had known."  
Deanna smiles and wipes her tears. "You've been fine. You, you're the best friend I've ever had. I was just afraid. Afraid that if I told you it would make it real. Until last night, I didn't want to let it be real."

Beverly smiles. "That I can understand. I do need to apologize to you too. None of this, I haven't been fair to you either. Jean-Luc reminded me again last night. The same thing really. Wanting something, no matter how hard you wish, it just doesn't always work out the way you hope. I thought you were married and I still let myself… I guess I'm just sorry for the way I've been treating you."

Deanna takes a chance and lays her hand over Beverly's where it rests on the table.  
"Maybe sometimes it does work that way. Maybe sometimes all you have to do is ask."  
Beverly stares at her. 

"That was the other thing I wanted to talk about. I think I must be the stupidest psychologist in the history of psychology. You've been trying to tell me. At least you think you have… And I've had my head up my ass, I never even thought about what you were saying. Beverly?? Are you..."  
"Gay? Hopelessly in love with my best friend?"  
"Yeah." 

She drops her eyes back to the table. "Yeah. I'm really sorry Deanna. I should have told you. I feel so bad. I was pushing you even though I know you aren't interested. I mean, you are, were married. You were sitting there with your husband and all I could think about was... That's why I need to take a step back. Not spend so much time. Let you get your life together. That's what Jean-Luc, he's been trying..."

"Shhh. Beverly stop! Look at me. Please?"  
Beverly slowly brings her eyes back up to meet Deanna's.  
"Beverly, I like it when you hold my hand." She grips Beverly's where it lies under hers. "I've been wanting to tell you that."  
Beverly gives her a slight smile. "What does that mean?"  
Deanna shrugs. "I don't know yet. Your timing really sucks with Will and all. But I know that I want you in my life. I just don't know what that looks like yet. It hurts too much to think about not having you too."

She slides to the seat next to Beverly and opens her arms for an embrace.  
"There's just one more thing I want to know?" She whispers… "Do I still have to move out of your office?"


	9. A Date With Rudi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly invites Deanna to dinner and to meet her cat. Things may get a little out of hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking by me. As promised things are getting good. Don't hate me for the ending. It had to happen this way. Bwa ha ha!

Deanna shows up on time the next morning, coffee in hand. She's happy to see her desk still in its place against the wall. She turns as Beverly enters behind her.  
"How was your night?" she asks.  
"Haven't slept that well in weeks." Beverly replies.  
"Good. I was, um, I was wondering if maybe you would be interested, if you're not busy and all, if maybe you might, I hope this is OK,.."  
Beverly grins. "Stop! You're going to hurt yourself!"  
Deanna laughs. "Beverly, will you go on a date with me Friday night."  
"No."

"What? Oh my god. I did it again didn't I?" I'm sorry I just thought that maybe it was OK, I mean it's not like a real date, just that we could, you know, maybe talk and maybe…"  
Beverly reaches and puts a finger on Deanna's lips.  
"Seriously will you please shut up and let me talk!"  
"OK" Deanna mumbles around Beverly's finger.  
"It's my turn to have you over. Introduce you to Rudi. Cook you a meal for a change."  
Deanna smiles. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"  
Beverly smiles back. "God I hope not."  
With a giggle, they both go to their desks to begin their day.

On Friday afternoon, Deanna follows Beverly to her apartment in Encino. Beverly meets her at her car.  
"I have to tell you something," she says as she leads Deanna up the stairs to her door. "This is a test."  
"Oh?"  
"Yeah. Rudi, he's a very good judge of character. It's kind of a deal breaker, whether he likes you or not."  
"So I suppose I should be on my best behavior?"   
Beverly nods.  
"So how do your dates usually fare?"  
"Dunno. Never brought anyone home before."

Deanna isn't sure what to say about that. She sits tentatively on Beverly's sofa and it's not long before the black and white cat makes an appearance. He eyes her carefully, sniffing at her shoes.  
"So whatcha think Rudes?" Beverly asks as she brings two glasses of wine and sits. Rudi gives Deanna another once over and then turns away with a flip of his tail.  
"Uh oh." Deanna says. "That doesn't look good for me."  
Beverly smiles. "I'll have a talk with him."  
Deanna's not sure if she should laugh or not.

Beverly excuses herself to the kitchen to work on dinner and Deanna sits back and relaxes. A few minutes later, she feels something odd rubbing against her ankle. She looks down and sees Rudi rubbing the side of his mouth up and down her leg, his fang scratching her gently.  
"Ummm Beverly?" She calls out.  
"Yeah?"  
"What does this mean?"  
Beverly comes to see and starts to laugh. "It means he's marking you. You belong to him now. It's a good thing," she says with a smile as she goes back to the kitchen.  
"If you says so" Deanna mumbles, watching the cat carefully.

By the time Beverly returns, Rudi is standing on Deanna's lap, butting her chin with the top of his head. She's holding her hands up, not sure if she should pet him or push him away.  
"I think he's growling" she tells Beverly quietly.   
Beverly laughs again. "He's purring. He likes you. Haven't you ever met a cat before?"  
Deanna shakes her head. "Purring? Why is it so loud? I thought it was supposed to be soothing. And he keeps hitting me?"  
"He wants you to pet him."  
Deanna gently starts to pet him and Rudi settles into her lap with another contented purr.  
"I guess I passed the test?" She asks.  
"Yeah. You passed." Beverly says softly as she sits close and pets her cat as well.  
They sit quietly and watch as Rudi's eyes slowly close.

After a number of minutes, Deanna makes a decision. "Beverly?" She says very quietly.  
"Hmmm."  
"Will you kiss me?"  
Beverly is startled. "What?"  
"I want you to kiss me. I want to know what it feels like."  
"Deanna, I don't want to be a part of some experiment."  
"No. I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. What I mean is, I've been doing a lot of soul searching the last couple of days. I like you too. A lot. I want to anyway. I want to know, I guess, I've never kissed a woman. I've never kissed anyone but Will. I want to know if kissing you feels like I want it to feel."  
"And if it doesn't?"  
"I don't know. All I know is that right now I want to take a chance. I want to know that what I feel is real. I want you to kiss me. Then can we go from there?"

Beverly nods, her eyes soft. Deanna stares into them as she moves closer. She closes them as their lips touch and she is overwhelmed with the feeling that this really is right. She shifts to touch her hand to Beverly's cheek. The spell is broken when Rudi is disturbed by her movement and jumps off her lap in huff, with a flick of his tail.   
"So what does that mean?"  
"Kitty 'F you."  
"Oh."  
"He'll get over it" Beverly says as she reaches to touch Deanna's face.   
"So?"  
"So what?" Deanna asks.   
"The experiment. Have you analyzed the results?"  
"Mmm. I have. But I think I need more data still."

She leans back to Beverly, gently sliding her hands into her hair. There's nothing tentative about this kiss. Beverly groans as she feels Deanna's tongue on hers. She's got one hand on Deanna's shoulder and the other caressing her cheek. She digs her fingers in, wanting to pull Deanna closer to feel her body pressed against her own.  
*BUZZZZZ*

Both women jump apart.   
“Fuck” Beverly mumbles as she gets up to go turn off the oven timer.  
Deanna laughs. “Perfect timing. As usual.”  
“Dinner’s ready I suppose.” Beverly tells her.   
“It smells wonderful. I’m sure it is.” Deanna tells her as she stands. She moves close to Beverly, so close that their chests touch.  
“But I’m not really all that hungry.”  
“No?” Beverly asks, her voice cracking.  
“Em hmm” Deanna whispers as she pushes herself into Beverly.  
Beverly’s face is very close to hers now. “I worked really hard on that you know,” she whispers.   
“I know. We can eat later.” She wraps her arms around Beverly and kisses her again. She starts to push in the direction of the bedroom. Beverly freezes and pulls away. She takes Deanna’s hands in her own.  
“Dee... I can’t. Not now. Not yet.”  
Deanna look confused. And a little disappointed. 

Beverly wants nothing more than to take her right there in the middle of the living room but she keeps mumbling, “It’s too soon. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything…”  
Deanna shakes her head. “No. I want this. Now. No one has ever made me do anything I didn’t want to.” She watches as something dark passes over Beverly’s face. Whatever her thoughts are, they change fast as Beverly’s eyes dilate.   
“There’s nothing I want more. God! I haven’t stopped thinking about this for two weeks. But it has to be right Deanna.”  
Deanna pulls her hand away and wraps it around Beverly’s head. As she pulls Beverly’s mouth back to hers, she whispers, “stop worrying ok?” Beverly’s reply is muffled. She still hesitates and Deanna gets impatient. She lets her hand fall down Beverly’s side then to the hem of her own shirt. She pulls it up over her head, only breaking her kiss to remove it. 

Beverly stares. Her hand slowly rises and she traces the line of Deanna’s bra from her shoulder and across the top of the cup. Deanna takes a deep breath at the touch, as the delicious ache inside threatens to overwhelm her. Beverly takes her hand and leads her to the bedroom.  
She sits on the edge of her bed and pulls Deanna down on top of her. Her fingers find the clasp in the back of the bra. Deanna smiles as she slips it open. They roll over and Beverly rises to her knees.  
“Oh my God Deanna” she says as she takes in Deanna’s full bosom and dark nipples. “I’ve wanted this ever since I….”  
“Since what?”  
Beverly shakes her head with a smile. “Uh uh. Later. I’ll tell you later.”

She lowers herself back onto Deanna and softly takes a nipple into her mouth. Deanna gasps loudly when she feels Beverly’s hot mouth. She starts pulling at Beverly’s shirt. Beverly finally sits up and pulls her own shirt off, revealing that she’s not wearing a bra.   
Deanna smiles. She puts her hand flat on Beverly’s sternum. She’s still a bit shy about touching but finds courage as she slides her fingers down Beverly’s hard abs before traveling back up and finally taking Beverly’s nipple in her fingers. She gently rubs and pinches, enjoying the look of ecstasy on Beverly’s face. She lets her fingers slide back down Beverly’s torso and toys with the button on Beverly’s pants. With a smile of her own Beverly steps out of her remaining garments and then removes Deanna’s. She lays back down onto Deanna then rolls to her side.  
They lie together, gently exploring each other’s bodies, memorizing the places that make them jump and twitch. Beverly carefully watches Deanna’s face, looking for any sign that Deanna may change her mind. Deanna’s cheeks are bright red, her eyes closed, her breathing shallow. She lets her fingers trail the length of Deanna’s body again and then up the inside of her leg. She bites her lip as she gently runs her fingers between her legs.   
“Oh God Deanna. You want this. You really want this. You are so wet. So hot. Deanna I want to….”  
Deanna opens her eyes with a smile. She starts to answer when she suddenly goes rigid, her face changing quickly.  
“What? Beverly! Stop! I can’t...”


	10. Coming Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally! That's all I'm saying!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think so far. Getting into the second half of the story and I am much less comfortable with my skills there.

Beverly snatches her hand away in horror. “Oh my God Deanna. I am so sorry. I can’t believe I… I thought you… I feel awful… I didn’t mean to…”  
“No!” Deanna says, pointing her finger, “That!”

  
Beverly follows her finger and sees two glowing yellow eyes at the foot of the bed.

  
“He’s staring at me. I can’t. Not while he’s watching.”

  
Beverly lets out her breath in relief. “Shoo Rudi. Not now!” she kicks her foot and the cat glares at her before turning and leaving the room. She looks back at Deanna, still unsure what to say or do. Deanna starts to giggle and soon both women are laughing.

“I’m sorry Beverly. I just couldn’t. It was weird the way he was looking at me. Like he was jealous or something. Just too weird.”

She suddenly gets serious. “It wasn’t you. I liked what you were doing. What you were going to do. You were right. I want this. You. Now. OK?”

She doesn’t wait for an answer but rolls onto Beverly and kisses her. “Show me what you like Beverly” she whispers as she begins to kiss down Beverly’s neck to her collar bone.

Beverly groans out loud when Deanna nips at the soft skin at the base of her neck and then rolls her off to the side.

“Tell me what to do?” She asks softly.  
“Just do what you like. I’ll tell you.”  
“You mean like this?” Deanna asks as she begins to massage Beverly’s breast.  
“Or this?” She drags her fingers along Beverly’s ribs to her hip.  
“Yeah.” Beverly breaths.  
“Or this?” as she finds Beverly’s hand and brings it back to herself.

  
“God Deanna.” Beverly mumbles as she drags her fingers through Deanna’s wetness again. She starts to gently rub and Deanna arches her back with a loud moan. Deanna’s fingers are digging into her hip now and she slides one then two fingers inside. Deanna begins to move with her, her breath getting choppy. When Beverly touches her deep inside, in a spot Deanna never knew existed, she comes completely undone. Her breath comes with high pitched squeaks as she tries get oxygen into her lungs. With a shudder she comes, grabbing at Beverly and pulling her tight. She wraps her arms tight around her neck and holds on until she can’t anymore and her arms and legs go limp.

Beverly starts to pull her hand back and Deanna grabs at her again. “No. Not yet. I want to feel you still.”  
Beverly smiles and kisses her gently. “Anything you want Love.”  
Deanna sighs. “That was, you are amazing. I never, God I wish I had known you could do that.”  
Beverly laughs quietly. “I’m glad it was good. Anytime.”  
Deanna looks at her with a smile. “I hope I can do as well.”  
“You don’t have to do anything. I am happy to do, to give. It makes me happy to make you happy.”  
“Nuh uh. You’re not getting away that easily. I need to show you what I learned.”  
“You think you got it? Need me to show you again?”  
“Hmm maybe.”

Deanna moves close and starts a kiss that has Beverly moaning in no time. She slowly moves her fingers down Beverly’s body, tentatively touching her, increasing pressure until Beverly moans again.

“There?”  
“Yeah. There.”  
“More?” Deanna asks with a smile.  
“God yes. Deanna. I want you inside me. Please?”

With a smile, Deanna slowly slips her fingers inside. She’s fascinated by the new and unique feeling of another woman and pokes around until she finds the spot that makes Beverly jump. She slowly begins to move her hand. Beverly’s hand is still between her legs and she begins to move too. Deanna mirrors Beverly’s movements and it’s not long before she’s teetering on the edge herself. She feels Beverly’s body begin to contract and feels the same surge of pleasure overtake her.

Beverly’s eyes are still closed, her breathing still labored. Deanna smiles and wipes a sweaty strand of red hair from her forehead, replacing it with a kiss. Beverly opens her eyes and stares into Deanna’s.

  
“Deanna, I…I…”  
“Shhh. Don’t. Please? Not yet.” She gently touches her lips to Beverly’s. “It’s too new. Too soon. I can’t say it back.”  
“But?” Beverly asks, her eyes pleading for the words she wants to hear.  
“Soon. I can hear me saying it soon. Based on tonight, this, you are amazing. Will said he’d never seen me so comfortable with another person and he was right. You are everything I’ve ever wanted. Smart. Gorgeous. And good in bed! Can you wait for me?”  
“Forever if I have to.”

Deanna kisses her gently again then, Beverly rolls her over and pulls her tight. Deanna sighs contentedly.  
“Stay?”  
“I would love to. I don’t think I could walk if I had to.”  
Both women laugh softly. Deanna snuggles herself farther into Beverly and falls asleep. When she’s sure Deanna is out, Beverly whispers quietly, “I love you” and buries her face into Deanna’s hair with another deep sigh.

Deanna doesn’t wake when Beverly slips out of bed to answer her phone. She comes back to the bedroom to find Deanna sitting up, staring at her own phone in her hand.  
“You too?”  
Deanna nods numbly.  
“We’ve got a body.”


	11. The Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna is put to the test when she goes to her first crime scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go...  
> Not as comfortable with actual story and facts. Help is appreciated. But don't worry. Will be plenty of my normal drivel too.

“Must be bad” Beverly says. “Calling both of us out so early in the morning. So much for a lazy Saturday with my new lover. You want breakfast?”  
Deanna shakes her head. “No. I don’t think so.”

Beverly keeps her eye on Deanna as they get dressed and prepare to go to work.   
“Are you OK?” She asks.  
“Yeah. I’m fine. Just nervous.”  
“You’ll be fine.”  
Deanna nods. “I know. I just, I don’t know how to explain it. I mean, this is why I took the job, what I want to do, to go out in the field, to study the scene, try to figure out the mind of the killer. But…”  
“It’s your first test. It’s OK to be nervous. But you’re ready for this. I trust you.”

Deanna smiles as Beverly gives her a comforting hug. “Thanks. Thanks for everything.”  
Beverly starts to get awkward again. “Deanna I, I think we should, you know, we should take separate cars. Not because I’m embarrassed, I mean I would tell everyone, it’s just that…”  
Deanna shushes her with a kiss.  
“It’s OK. I was planning on two cars. I don’t want to start any rumors. Not yet anyway.”  
Beverly gives her a relieved smile. “Thanks.” She whispers. “For everything.”

Deanna parks behind Beverly outside the barriers of the crime scene and follows her to the officer in charge of crowd control.  
“Dr. Crusher. Sorry to get you out so early. It’s an ugly one. Got your work cut out for you,” he says as she flips him a look at her badge. He looks to Deanna who starts to fumble in her bag.   
“I’m sorry. I have it.”  
“She’s good,” Beverly tells him. “Dr. Deanna Troi. She’s our new profiler.”  
The officer nods. “Sorry to meet under these circumstances. Like I said, work cut out for you.”  
“So who’s in charge?” Beverly asks him as she slips under the yellow tape.  
“The O twins. They’re up on the jogging trail, top of the hill.”  
“Thanks.”  
“The O twins?” Deanna asks as she ducks under the tape herself.  
“O’Brien and Ogawa.”  
“Ahhh. Cute.”

Beverly glances quickly at the body under the bushes without any discernable reaction and then goes to find the two detectives to get information. Deanna has a very different reaction to the sight.   
“Oh my God!” she mumbles to herself, shocked at what she sees. Lying in a bush about a third of the way down the hillside is a body, well, part of a body. She takes a deep breath and moves closer. The body is male and nude except for a pair of black socks. It is laid on its back, legs splayed and arms down at its side. It also happens to be missing its head. She is still sitting on her haunches, staring at the body when Beverly returns, followed closely by Alyssa Ogawa.  
Beverly kneels down next to the body and starts examining it, speaking out loud while Alyssa takes notes and photographs for her.  
“The deceased is male. Adult. Young. Decapitation seems to be the cause of death though that will need to be determined. Deceased’s head is not present. Based on visual signs of decomp, death occurred 12-36 hours previous. Lack of blood on the body and at site suggests he was killed elsewhere. Deceased has been castrated.”

At those words, Deanna has had enough and quickly leaves the immediate scene. Beverly looks at Alyssa who nods for her to go after Deanna. She catches her as she vomits into a clump of grass. Beverly puts her arm around Deanna’s shoulders and pulls her hair away from her face. When she is done, Beverly pulls her close and uses the tail of her shirt to wipe Deanna’s face.  
“It’s OK. You’re OK.”  
Deanna shakes her head. “No. It’s not OK. I just, I couldn’t…”  
“It happens to the best of us. Really. And it’s your first time. This is a tough one. It will get easier. I promise.”  
Deanna shakes her head again. “I’ve looked at photos. Worse than this. I thought I could handle it. I don’t know if I can. It was the smell. I didn’t know. I can’t. I don’t think I can go back.”  
Beverly hugs her. “You can. Give yourself a minute. You can do this. It gets easier.”  
Deanna nods. “OK. I’ll try.”  
With a small smile, Beverly touches her cheek. “Take your time. I’ll be here if you need me. I need to go back. Are you OK here?”  
Deanna nods.

While Beverly goes back to work, Deanna stands and tries to compose herself. Alyssa Ogawa comes and stands next to her.   
“How do you do it Alyssa?”   
She shrugs. “Beverly is right. It gets easier. A bit of Ben Gay under the nose helps when it’s really bad. Want some?”  
Deanna shakes her head. “No. I think I’m OK now.” She starts to hike back to where the body lies when something catches her eye. She stops and Alyssa bumps into her. She tries to follow Deanna’s gaze.  
“What is it? Did you see something?”  
“I’m not sure. What is that?”  
Alyssa looks to where she’s pointing then gets down low for a better look. She takes a pen out of her pocket and pokes at the object.  
“It looks like hair. And it’s attached to something.” She stands up and yells for Miles O’Brien and Beverly. They come, followed closely by a younger African American officer. Miles introduces him as Geordi LaForge, Junior Detective. Geordi smiles and holds out his hand. “It’s just detective. O’Brien is just showing me how the old timers do it.”  
“So whatcha got here?” Miles asks as he squats down and studies the hair. “Bevy? Looks like hair to me? Alyssa, get some photos and we’ll dig ‘er up.”  
They watch as Geordi carefully digs around the object. Beverly smiles. “Well well well. Looks like we found our John Doe’s missing head. Make sure it gets wrapped up with the rest of the package for me.” She raises her voice a bit, “Free lunch for anyone who finds his balls!” Deanna just stares at her with her mouth open.

The officer at the bottom of the hill whistles and everyone turns to look. Chief Picard has arrived and the officer is waving for everyone to come down. Standing next to him is a tall Asian woman. Picard introduces her to Deanna as Keiko Ishikawa, press liaison. As Keiko and another officer pass out cups of coffee to the group, O’Brien, Ogawa and Beverly tell Picard what information they have.   
“I’ve done about all I can do here,” Beverly tells him. “I’d like to grab something to eat and go make sure things are set up.”   
Picard shakes his head. “Things are set up. Go home. We’ll call you when the body gets to the lab.”  
Beverly rolls her eyes. “OK but..”  
Picard glares at her and she backs off.   
“Deanna?”  
Picard shakes his head again. “I want her to stay here, work with Keiko on a statement. Press should be here any minute.” He turns to Deanna. “Keiko’s got it. I want you to watch, see if you have any ideas about what we should or should not say. This isn’t our normal situation. Don’t want to make things any harder for ourselves.” He looks to Miles and Alyssa and starts to speak to them when they hear a voice yell from up the hill.  
“O’Brien! Ogawa! Get up here. I found another.”  
“What the Hell?” Miles swears as he and Alyssa start back up the hill. “Bevy, you’re probably gonna wanna see too.”

The group gathers around a second body, this time accompanied by Deanna, Keiko and Picard. Officer LaForge walks them through the scene.   
“Found this one under a bush too. Looks the same. No head. No balls. No socks this time. And this one stinks.”  
“I thought this area was searched?” Alyssa asks.  
Geordi shrugs. “It was. Must have missed it somehow.”  
Miles face turns red as he tries to control himself. “How the fuck do you miss a body? It’s not more than 30 feet from the first one? Who’s the incompetent who was supposed to work this side of the hill? How did you find it?”   
Geordi’s cheeks darken. “I, umm, I had to take a leak.”  
“Jesus Christ!” Miles swears again. “Go somewhere else.”  
Geordi quickly leaves, lucky to get off as easy as he did.  
Beverly starts her visual inspection of the body while Alyssa takes her notes and photos. She finally stands up and talks to Picard.  
“It’s the same Jean-Luc. Almost exactly down to the positioning. But this one is older. Killed before, probably by a week or two. This white residue? No idea what that is.”  
Picard sighs and rubs his face. He looks to Deanna. “This isn’t the end is it?”   
She shakes her head. “No. I don’t think so. I think we’re just getting started.”  
“Damn.”

Everyone starts to go back to their jobs when they’re interrupted by Geordi again.  
“O’Brien! You’re not going to believe this?”  
“If it’s another fuckin’ body…” Miles mutters.  
They meet Geordi near a clump of bushes. The younger man explains, “I was, you know. And I found this.” He points to a gruesome pile underneath the nearest bush.  
Miles glares at him. “That a dick or some sorta dousing rod?”  
Beverly goes down to one knee to get a better look.   
“Well thank goodness for your tiny bladder. I think you just found Doe 2’s head and a couple pairs of testicles. Back to work I guess,” she says to Alyssa as they begin to document the scene. Deanna follows Picard and Keiko down the hill to work up a statement for the first TV crews to arrive.

Deanna and Beverly spend most of the day on the hill working in their various teams. By the time the bodies are transported to Beverly’s morgue, it’s late in the afternoon. Picard tells them both to go home. Beverly tries to protest again but Picard shuts her down with a look. He threatens her one more time as he gets into his car to leave for his office.  
Miles watches the scene with an annoyed look on his face.   
“Gotta start bangin’ the boss. She’s going home. We’re gonna be out here all night.” He says loud enough for Beverly to hear.   
She turns and gives him a big grin. “Don’t knock it til you try it Big Boy.”  
Miles grumbles as he heads back up the hill while Beverly and Deanna head down.  
“Why do you let him think that you and Jean-Luc are a couple?” Deanna asks her.  
Beverly shrugs. “Easier this way. The truth is more complicated. And I don’t know that anyone really thinks we’re sleeping together or that I’m getting favors. Miles just likes to complain. And I like to tease him.”

Beverly leans against the door of Deanna’s car. “I think you should come home with me.”  
“You do? That a good idea? But seriously, I’m not sure I’m really in the mood.”  
Beverly gives her a sly smile. “Can’t say it didn’t cross my mind. But seriously, I’m worried about you. This was a rough first time. I know what it’s like. Hard enough when you’re busy. When you go home alone, well, I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Besides, you haven’t eaten anything all day.”  
“I’m sure I’ll be fine.”  
“I don’t think I was giving you the choice?”  
“Well, when you put it that way.”  
“Good.” Beverly leans close to Deanna and whispers, “you don’t know how bad I’ve wanted to touch you today.”  
Deanna laughs. “I guess you’re just going to have to learn to control yourself. I’ll come only under one condition.”  
“And what is that?”  
“You tell me what it was you were talking about last night. You promised to tell me.”  
Beverly replies with a smile. “I remember.”


	12. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna's first crime scene was rough. Beverly wants to make sure she's OK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It't getting good right? This is, after all, a love story so you're still going to get lots of what I like to write! Dialogue, conflict and love.
> 
> Tonight you will hear a new voice...
> 
> Always begging for comments and constructive criticism

Beverly waits by her car while Deanna parks. As soon as Deanna reaches her, she pulls her into a tight hug. “I am so glad you came. I could really get used to this.”  
Deanna digs her fingers into Beverly’s back. “Me too. We’re going to have to figure this out though. All day long, this is what I thought about.”  
“Only this?” Beverly asks as she lets Deanna go. She laughs as Deanna’s cheeks turn pink. They hold hands as they walk to Beverly’s apartment.

Inside, Beverly has Deanna feed Rudi while she starts grilled cheese and tomato soup, “the perfect comfort food” she calls it. She explains why she wants Deanna to feed her cat.   
“The way to a cat’s heart is through his stomach. Rudi’s loyalty lies with the person who last fed him. You give him some tinned food with his kibble, he’ll be your best friend, at least until his next meal.”  
Deanna laughs as the cat winds his way around her ankles, rubbing his cheeks all over her. “We’re going to be good friends aren’t we Rudi?” she asks as she puts his food bowl on the floor. Having received what he wanted, he ignores her completely.

Beverly opens a bottle of wine and they take their dinners to the sofa. “Mmmm. This is perfect!” Deanna exclaims. “I didn’t think I was hungry but this is delicious.” Beverly nods.   
“It really is important that you take care of yourself on these cases. Making yourself sick won’t do anyone any good, especially not the victims. We’re the only ones who can speak for them now.”  
Deanna nods. “I will. I just wasn’t as prepared as I thought I was.”  
“I know,” Beverly says softly. “You can’t be. It’s going to be something new every time.”  
“How does it not affect you?”  
“It does. Every time. I just have learned to push it to the side. Concentrate on what needs to be done. It’s later, when I’m home alone. That’s when I think about it. Who they were. What their lives were like. Who is missing them. That hurts the most. Thinking about someone sitting home alone like me, someone who had someone and now they don’t. I cry. And then I go to work the next day and try like hell to give them the peace of at least knowing.”  
“That’s why you wanted me to come over?”  
Beverly nods. “Yeah. I really am worried though. Jean-Luc didn’t let me go home alone. We stayed up all night. Talking. Not about work. Just talking. Being together.”  
“Yeah.”

Beverly places her plate on the coffee table then takes Deanna’s. “Let me try something. Turn around.”  
Deanna turns sideways and folds her legs. Beverly sits behind her. She is expecting her to rub her shoulders or something comforting but Beverly doesn’t move. After a few seconds, she can hear Beverly whispering to herself, rhythmic but much too quietly to understand any of the words. Very slowly, Beverly reaches her hands and places them gently on Deanna’s crown. She makes no other movements. Deanna closes her eyes and waits. It’s not long before she feels the tension begin to leave her body. As she relaxes, she feels her anxiety replaced by feelings of peace, calm and wellbeing. Beverly slowly moves again, removing her hands from Deanna’s head and placing them on her shoulders.  
“How do you feel?” She asks quietly.  
Deanna turns to look at her. “I feel better. What was that? What did you do?”  
“It’s called Deeksha. It’s a healing energy. Like Reiki or Qi. I pull it from the Universe and share it with you. You are free to use it in any way that you need.”  
“That’s remarkable! Where did you learn that?”  
Beverly smiles. “Lindsay Wagner taught it to me.”  
“The Bionic Woman?”  
“Yeah,” Beverly laughs. “She’s a friend of Jean-Luc’s.”  
Deanna shakes her head. “I don’t think you’ll ever cease to surprise me.”  
Beverly wraps her arm around and pulls Deanna close. “I hope not,” she whispers. She kisses her gently and Deanna sinks into her with a sigh. 

After a few minutes, she remembers Beverly promised to tell her a story. “So what was it that you were going to tell me?” She asks.   
Beverly laughs. “Oh it’s nothing important. Just something.”   
Deanna sits up. “Tell me.”  
“Promise me you won’t get mad?”   
Deanna narrows her eyes. “Am I going to get mad?”  
Beverly laughs. “I hope not. It’s just well, when we first met, you know. In front of the station.”  
“Oh God!” Deanna says. “That was the most embarrassing thing. I still can’t believe I did that.”  
“It wasn’t your fault,” Beverly mumbles.  
“What?”  
With a sigh, Beverly repeats herself. “It wasn’t your fault. I was watching you. You were so pretty. I couldn’t help myself. I swear I didn’t know who you were. Not until you came into Jean-Luc’s office. You were just standing there. Thinking about something. I had just gotten up my courage to talk to you when you turned around.”  
Deanna stares at her. “You ran into me? And you let me think it was my fault?”  
“I panicked. I couldn’t think of anything to say. It’s a funny story. Right? C’mon. It’s a funny story. Deanna?”  
Deanna finally speaks in a measured tone. “Well I suppose that depends.”  
“On what?”  
“On whether or not you let me finish what I started?”  
Beverly is confused. “What? What did you start?”  
“This,” Deanna says with a smile as she puts her hand on Beverly’s breast and moves her hand up and down as if she was trying to wipe up the coffee again.  
“Oh. I should have let you finish that. You did make an awful mess. I had to throw that blouse away.”  
“Mmmm. Serves you right for what you put me through. You know you’re going to have to pay for that?”  
“Really? What exactly did you have in mind?”  
“I’ll think of something,” Deanna says as she squeezes Beverly’s breast and moves closer for a kiss.

Just when the kiss starts to become passionate, Rudi lands heavily on Deanna’s lap, startling her. He takes advantage of the sliver of space this creates between the two women and wriggles himself in. Beverly starts to laugh.   
“Not gonna work Rudi. You can’t keep us apart. Not when she looks at me with those gorgeous black eyes of hers. I love you cat. I really do. But this just is not going to work.” With that she puts her hand under his back end and pushes him off the couch. He glares at her then turns and flips his tail before going to his bed and grooming himself. Deanna watches the whole thing with a giggle.  
“You mean that? About my eyes?”   
“Would I lie to you?”  
Deanna raises an eyebrow with a smile.  
“Well I’m not lying about this. You are, without a doubt, the sexiest woman I have ever seen. I wanted you the first moment I saw you. That’s why I was there. I’ve never approached a woman before. Not like that. But when I saw you...I…”  
Deanna wraps her hand around the back of Beverly’s head and pulls her close. “You really talk too much, you know that?” She kisses Beverly again, her hand finding its way back to her breast. Beverly moans and cups Deanna’s cheeks.  
“I thought you weren’t in the mood?”  
“You didn’t really think I was going to be able to keep my hands to myself did you?”   
“I really hoped not. Shall we retire to somewhere a bit more private?” She asks as she glances at the cat still glaring at her from the corner. She stands and pulls Deanna to her feet and slowly walks her to the bedroom.   
She has Deanna’s shirt and bra off by the time they hit the bed. She nuzzles between Deanna’s breasts while Deanna’s hands move up the back of her shirt. It’s not long before both women are naked.   
Beverly pushes herself up and looks at Deanna. “Every time I close my eyes, this is exactly what I see. You are so beautiful. I feel so lucky that you chose to be with me.”  
Deanna reaches up and touches Beverly’s cheek. “I’m the lucky one. I never knew I could feel like this. You’ve opened a whole new world to me and I can’t wait to share it with you.”   
Beverly smiles as she lies back down and kisses Deanna. Deanna moves her leg between Beverly’s and pushes into her. The soft noise Beverly makes tells her she’s on the right track. She slowly moves her leg and Beverly starts to move with her. The feeling of Beverly’s desire threatens to overwhelm her and she begins to touch herself. Beverly stares for a few seconds before throwing her head back with a cry and then collapsing onto Deanna. She replaces Deanna’s hand with her own and it’s not long before Deanna comes with a cry of her own. 

The two women lay together for a while, just feeling the warmth they bring to each other. They slowly drift off to sleep, the day’s horrors completely forgotten for the time being.

In a tiny apartment in North Hollywood, he paces nervously, waiting for the 11:00 news. It’s been hard, waiting all day, but it will be worth it. Late night news will have the most information and Channel 7 will have the best coverage. The killings are, of course, the lead news. Images of the hillside are mixed with those of cars with flashing colored lights. He has his fingers crossed, hoping Mayde Gomez will be the reporter. They always give her the big stuff. He feels himself getting hard thinking about her with her long black hair and ebony eyes. He’s touching himself now, listening to her melodic voice with its soft Mexican accent. He focuses on the information, waiting on his release until she explains how the bodies were found, what they looked like. Something is wrong. The bodies were found too early. He’ll have to fix that. Success is in the details. He’ll be better next time. Mayde’s face flashes on the screen and he explodes.


	13. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Sunday morning and everyone has questions, about the murders and about their relationships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for sticking with me so far. Things are going to be rough for a while for our friends. As always, reviews, comments and constructive criticism are always welcome.

Beverly wakes with a groan as a weight lands on her chest. She glances at the clock and groans again.

“Rudi! Who needs an alarm clock when I’ve got you?” 

The cat looks at her longingly and butts her chin with his head  
.  
“Really? Can you give me 10 minutes?”

Knowing he’s not going to get anywhere, the cat looks over at the still sleeping Deanna. 

“Don’t you dare cat! She’s not getting up to feed you right now either.”

She can almost hear him sigh as he jumps off the bed. Beverly rolls over to see Deanna, curled up, facing away. She reaches and pulls a finger through an unruly black curl. Deanna sighs and rolls over. Beverly can’t help but pull another curl from Deanna’s face. Deanna slowly opens her eyes and smiles.

“Good morning,” Beverly says quietly. “How did you sleep?”

“Mmm. Perfectly. Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure,” Beverly tells her with a smile of her own.

Deanna stretches. “What time is it?”

“Seven.”  
Deanna groans. “Ugh. Why so early?”

Beverly laughs. “It wasn’t my fault. But I do want to get in and get started. It’s going to be a long day. Picard is going to want a full report from all departments this afternoon.”

Deanna groans again. “I almost forgot about all of that.”

“Good.” '

She leans forward and brushes Deanna’s lips with her own. Deanna reaches for her. “Do you have to go right away?”

“I should.”

“Me too. I need to go by my house and get cleaned up. I can’t keep showing up in your clothes. People are going to start wondering.”

She waits but Beverly doesn’t say anything.

“We should talk about this.”

“I know,” Beverly says, “but not now OK? There are other things I want to talk about.”

“Like what?”

“Like how beautiful you are. How happy you make me.”

“How easy I am?”

Beverly laughs. “That’s not really what I look for in a girlfriend but I won’t say it isn’t a benefit.”

“So do you really need to get up now?” Deanna asks as she runs her hand down Beverly’s ribs.

“No. My friends are on ice. I think they can wait a few more minutes.” 

They gently kiss as their fingers wander over each other’s bodies. 

“I like this,” Deanna murmurs as Beverly begins to softly rub her fingers against her. 

“Just this?” Beverly asks, teasing her before slipping her fingers inside.

Deanna’s only answer is a soft squeak and a return of the favor. It’s not long before both women come together, holding each other tight.

 

Beverly leaves for the station while Deanna heads home to the beach house to get cleaned up. By the time she arrives in her office, Beverly is already elbow deep in John Doe #1. Deanna waves at her that she brought coffee and Beverly holds up 2 fingers.

It’s a bit longer than 2 minutes before she comes in from the lab. Deanna has been working on a theory that she wants to talk to the CMO about. She waits until Beverly has settled into her chair and had a few sips of coffee.

“I’ve got a question for you.”

“OK.”

“The second body was more decayed than the first right?”

Beverly nods. “Yeah. Probably a week or two. It’s in really bad shape. Not even sure I’m going to be able to get an ID off of it.”

“So it smells?”

Beverly nods again. “Yeah. Bad. Not sure where it even could be kept. The whole neighborhood must have known.”

“So what are the odds that the other would be discovered first? And that this one would just be lying there and not a single one of us would notice?”

Beverly thinks that over for a few seconds. “I would say about zero. What are you thinking? That it was placed while we were there?”

Deanna nods.

“But how? I don’t remember anyone else being there? Would take an awful lot of balls to walk into a crime scene with a body over your shoulder.”

“Impossible?”

“No. Not impossible. Obviously. I just don’t see how.”

“Me either,” Deanna tells her. “But I intend to find out.”

Beverly nods. “Yeah. You’ve got a theory? Wanna share?”

Deanna shakes her head. “No. Not yet. I need to talk to O’Brien and Ogawa first.”

“And I should get back to it. I’ve got some fingerprints from Doe #1 and I need to take a better look at #2. Hopefully there’ll be something there to help. Lunch in a couple hours?”

“Yeah. Sounds good. Want me to take anything upstairs? To the twins?”

“Yeah. I’ll get it for you.” She reaches and touches Deanna’s knee. “You ok?”

“I’m Ok. I just want to get this guy before he kills anyone else.”

“That’s not what I meant but yeah, me too.”

 

Deanna knocks on the door jam of Alyssa and Miles’ office. Miles waves at her to come in. As usual, he’s got his feet up on his desk, several empty coffee cups and a greasy fast food wrapper litter the top. 

“Got a sec?” she asks.

“For you Love? I’ve got all day!” Miles says with a smirk.

She moves a stack of files off of the only empty chair and sits while Miles belches loudly and thumps his chest with his fist. Alyssa turns around with a look of disgust on her face.

“I keep telling him his diet is going to kill him,” she says with disdain.

“And I keep telling you that all that healthy crap you eat is disgusting. What do you think Dee?”

Deanna laughs. “Oh I am staying way out of this one!”'

Alyssa glares at Miles when he belches again and he replies with a wink and a cheesy smile.

“So what can I do to you? I mean for you?” he asks Deanna with another smirk.

She laughs again. “Just a couple of questions.”

She fills the detectives in on the discussion she had with Beverly about the bodies.

“Well that’s a disturbing thought isn’t it?” is Miles’ reply. Alyssa just looks angry.

“We’re going to have to go through everything again and talk to everyone,” she says unhappily. “Any idea where to start?” she asks Deanna.

“No not really. But I did have another thought.”

“Am I going to like this thought?” Miles asks.

“No. I don’t believe you will,” Deanna answers.

“Well then let me get a fresh cuppa. Alyssa? You?” Both women shake their heads.

 

While Miles is out of the office, Alyssa tries to explain to Deanna. “Miles and I, we get along well. It’s just, you know, partner stuff. We really do like each other.”

Deanna smiles at her. “Don’t worry. I get it. And I have no doubt that you both like and respect each other. I would be more concerned if you didn’t have this kind of banter.”

Miles returns and plops himself back into his chair. “You two been talking ‘bout me?”

“Of course!” Deanna smiles. 

“Good. I know how you ladies are around a big hunk o’ man meat like me.”

Alyssa snorts and Deanna laughs. Miles takes a sip of his coffee and becomes serious again.

“Tell me this thing I ain’t gonna like.”

“Well, I was wondering about how the second body and the head and testicles were found.”

“You mean LaForge’s weiner?”

“Umm yeah, that’s sort of what I meant. Don’t you find it odd that he’s the one that found both? And so quickly? When all of the rest of us didn’t notice anything?”

Both Miles and Alyssa stare at her for a few seconds then Miles swears.

“Fuck! You think?”

Deanna shrugs. “It was just a thought. I mean there are coincidences and then there are coincidences.” She glances at Alyssa who is just sitting and staring. Miles swears again and Deanna can’t help but think what a perfect pair they are. Miles is aggressive and impulsive. He thinks out loud, quick to act. Alyssa is much more reserved, quietly observing and analyzing before adding her thoughts. 

Alyssa finally speaks. “It is an interesting question. The one about the dump. Definitely worth looking into. You’re on to something there. LaForge though? I don’t know. Of course we’ll look into it. And maybe I just don’t want it to be true but I don’t see it. No offense. It’s a good question.”

“No worries,” Deanna tells her. “I hope it’s not true either. It was just a thought.”

“It’s a damn good thought!” Miles tells her. “I can’t believe we didn’t think it ourselves. I’m with Ally on this one. I don’t see it. But don’t think it’s not a great idea. We need all of them we can get so keep 'em coming. I think LaForge and I are gonna have a lunch date today. You know, just see how things are going. Speakin’ of, you hungry?” He reaches into a drawer and pulls out another paper wrapped ball of grease.

“Uh, no thanks.” Deanna tells him.  
“Your loss,” he says as he unwraps the sandwich and eats half in one bite. Alyssa gives him a look of disgust. 

 

At 4:00 in the afternoon, Picard calls all of the teams working on the double murder to the conference room for an update. He starts with Beverly’s autopsy reports which are pretty straight forward. 

She explains, “John Doe number one. Time of death 2 to 3 days. Ligature marks on wrists and ankles suggest that he was restrained for probably a day or two before that. Cause of death was decapitation. Castration was post mortem. Body was cleaned well. No blood anywhere it didn’t belong. Here’s where it gets interesting. The cuts were precise. No hesitation marks, bone was cut clean.”

“Like a surgeon?” Miles asks.

“Maybe. But it wasn’t done with a knife or a bone saw like you’d expect from a medical professional.”

“A practiced amateur?”

Beverly shakes her head. “No. I think the murder weapon was a cleaver.”

The room is silent for a few seconds and then Miles starts swearing.

“A butcher? A fucking butcher did this?” 

Beverly shrugs. “That’s your job. I only tell you want they tell me. I did get good prints off of him. Got an assistant running them. Hopefully get you a name in a day or two. Same with tox screens. Will say this guy didn’t live well. Hadn’t seen a doctor or dentist in years. Heavy smoker and drinker. Late 20’s, early 30’s and already liver damage. Wouldn’t surprise me if he was homeless.”

“It just gets better and better,” Miles exclaims. “Homeless means we got no one reporting, no witnesses, no idea where he’s from.”

Picard finally speaks. “It does add a degree of difficulty but I can’t say I’m surprised.”

No one has an answer to that. 

Beverly moves on to the second body. “Number two is a lot more puzzling. Cause of death is undetermined. Decapitation was post mortem as was the castration. Older, but decomp makes things difficult. Time of death was probably 2 weeks. Body was left to the elements. Doubt it was even wrapped. No way to tell if it had the same ligature marks or make a finger print ID. Got people working on a comp image and dental impressions but I don’t have much hope. Definitely same population. If anything, this guy was on the streets longer.”

Picard looks at some notes. “Tell me about the residue on the body?”

Beverly shakes her head. “That is something. I just wish I knew what. Still running tests but best I can tell, it’s a combo of formaldehyde and rock salt.”

“What the hell?” Miles asks.

Beverly shrugs. “I have no idea. My only thought is that both substances are used to preserve tissue. Perhaps it was some sort of homemade brew to slow decomp.  
Would explain why the body was held on to for so long. Didn’t work though.”

“And if that was true, why let go of the second body so quickly?” Deanna asks. “If it didn’t work the first time, wouldn’t he want to try again, maybe with a different formula?” 

Beverly shrugs again. “I told you it didn’t make a lot of sense.”

Picard has another question for her. “What about the castration? Sexual mutilation?”

“Hard to tell. Cuts were clean. Gut says no. Would usually see more mutilation. This was more of an amputation.” She sees Miles open his mouth to ask and beats him to it. “And before you ask, not my department. The sexual thing is your job not mine. No way for me to tell if he’s gay or not.”

Beverly is done and its Alyssa and Miles’ turn to tell what they know. They finish with the questions Deanna had. By the time they’re done, Picard looks as if he might explode. Deanna watches while he visibly works to control himself. 

“Chief, we’re on it already.” Alyssa tells him. “We’ll go through every photo we have, look for anything we might have missed. Same thing with LaForge. Photos are going to be a good start there too.”

Keiko lifts the tablet she’s been writing on. “I’ve already got a list of news outlets that were on site. I’ll get copies of everything to look at. It’s possible they got a shot or a video and don’t know what they’ve got.

Picard nods. “Good. Anyone else got anything interesting to share?” No one says anything and he sighs. “OK. Good work. We’ve got a lot of work ahead but I want you all to go home, get some rest. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.” 

He stands and leaves but no one else moves. Finally Miles pushes back from the table. “Well I don’t know about you all but I haven’t had any all weekend. Gonna go home and see if the wife remembers who I am. Alyssa? You wanna come? Tash would love to see you. Maybe have some of that health food crap you and her love so much.”

Alyssa shakes her head. “No. Go spend some time with the family. I’ll be Ok.”

“Suit yourself” he says as he cleans up his mess and leaves.

Alyssa looks at the three women still sitting at the table. 

“I’m thinking of going for a run. Need some air and some exercise. Beverly?”

“Oh no!” Beverly exclaims. “You know I don’t run. Besides, I already had my exercise for the day.”

Deanna quickly looks away before her red cheeks give away her secret. When she looks up, Alyssa is staring at her with her eyes narrowed. She raises and eyebrow. 

“How far?” Deanna asks, feigning innocence at being caught.

“6 or 8.”

“Make it 3 or 4 and I’m in.”

Alyssa nods. Keiko makes an excuse and she and Beverly disappear before any more peer pressure is applied.

 

After their run, Deanna heads down to her office to get her things. She’s hoping Beverly is still there, that maybe they can get dinner or perhaps head out to the beach house for the evening. Beverly looks up from her computer as Deanna comes through the door. Deanna hears her breath catch.

“Are you OK?” She asks.

“I’m fine,” Beverly says as she stands and comes around her desk to stand close to Deanna. “I’m fine. And so are you,” she says softly. 

Deanna laughs. “I’m all hot and sweaty.”

“You are gorgeous!” Beverly starts to finger the strap of Deanna’s tank top. She stares hungrily as a bead of sweat rolls off Deanna’s collar bone and down between her breasts. “God Deanna. I want you so bad right now.”

Deanna tries to laugh it off but the look in Beverly’s eyes is making her hungry. She closes the few inches between them and lifts her face for a kiss.

“We shouldn’t do this,” Beverly says but she makes no effort to move away from Deanna’s body. Just as she leans in to touch her lips to Deanna’s, a rap and an ‘ahem’ startle them. Deanna jumps back and turns away. Beverly turns to see Jean-Luc staring at her. Deanna quickly grabs her things and scurries past Beverly and out the door. Beverly reaches her hand to stop her but watches her go instead.

“Great,” she says in frustration. “Just great.”

Outside the door, Deanna slows, curious about what Picard is going to say now that the proverbial cat is out of the bag.

 

Beverly turns to Picard who is glaring at her.

“It’s not what it looks like Jean-Luc.”

“Really? Because I think it’s exactly what it looks like! I thought we talked about this Beverly!”

Beverly sighs loudly. “Ok fine. Yes. We’ve been seeing each other.”

“How long?”

“Not long.”

“Beverly…” he pauses. “You know this isn’t a good idea. You work together.”

“There aren’t any rules about that!” She protests.

“You didn’t let me finish!” he barks. “What if this goes bad?”

“It won’t.”

“And, God Beverly. She’s married. To a man! How do you think that’s going to end? You can’t do this. I can’t watch you go through this. Not again.”

Beverly is suddenly overcome with emotion. “I’m sorry Jean-Luc. I really am. I know you’re worried. I am too. But it’s different this time. I really care about her. And she cares about me. I think she does. And it’s only been a couple of days but I really like her. She’s good for me. I’m happy Jean-Luc. For the first time in a long time, I’m happy. It took me a long time to get here. To trust myself. Now I need you to trust me. Trust that I know what I’m doing. That I can do this.”

Picard sighs. “I do trust you Beverly. I know you think that you’re in love. And that she is too. But it’s been what? A week? Less? I just don’t want to see you hurt Bev. I…I…“

Beverly’s voice is soft. “I know Jean-Luc. I love you too.”


	14. Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Beverly and Deanna have a lot to think about after the conversation with Jean-Luc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all have been so good to me, I decided to give you a new chapter while we wait in the Sacramento airport. Don't forget to give it some love.

Beverly lies in bed and stares at the ceiling. Deanna spent the night only twice and already Beverly misses her warm body, her smell, even her soft snores. She’s not sure she’ll be able to sleep at all without the comfort Deanna brings her. 

And then there’s Jean-Luc’s words, reverberating in her head. 

“How long has it been? A week? Less? And she’s married. To a man!”

He’s right of course. About everything. How could she possibly think that they have anything even close to a relationship? It’s not like she even knows what a real relationship looks like. Maybe that’s why she keeps deluding herself. Just because someone shows her a little attention. What a sucker!  
But this is Deanna. They were instant friends. That should stand for something. Show that it’s not just a chemical reaction. She truly enjoys her company. She loves her. At least she thinks she does. She thinks Deanna loves her too. Or does she?

Technically, Deanna is still married. And she’s pretty sure that Deanna slept with Will when he was there. Then what? Two days later, she took her to bed? God! What was she thinking? Deanna even told her she still loves Will. She doesn’t want to be divorced from him. And she’s straight. She doesn’t want a relationship. Not with her. Not with anyone. So she’s what? Curious? Confused? Worried about being alone? Who knows? But jumping straight into a new relationship, one that’s so different from who she’s always been. That’s not ever going to work. It can’t. 

She knows all this but she still loves Deanna. Doesn’t she? Does she even know what love feels like? Obviously not. Lust or infatuation? Whatever it is, she needs to get over it. All that’s going to happen is that she gets hurt. Again. Jean-Luc has been trying to tell her for days. Why didn’t she listen? Why can’t she see what’s right in front of her eyes? Why the Hell did she take the woman to bed? Why does she miss her so much?

She slams the heels of her hands into her eyes in a futile attempt to stop the tears.

“How could I be so stupid?!” 

Rudi, disturbed by her outburst, comes to see what’s happening. He rubs his chin on her cheek, trying to make her feel better.   
“I know Rudi. I miss her too. But she’s gone now. This is the way it’s going to be. You and me. Alone. Just like it’s always been.”  
He tucks himself into her side with a purr. She rolls over and wraps her arms around him. It doesn’t make her feel any better.

Just a few miles away, Deanna is staring at her own ceiling. She can’t get Picard’s words out of her head either. Or Beverly’s. There’s something there. Something she doesn’t know. It’s more than just a father figure worrying about his daughter. He’s protective. Too protective. Something happened. Something in Beverly’s past. He doesn’t trust her judgement. At least not as far as their relationship goes. And Beverly doesn’t trust herself.   
The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes Beverly fits the profile. Everything starts to make sense. Beverly’s lack of relationships, her insecurities, the constant apologizing. Someone hurt her. Badly. There’s only one thing that fits. One reason for them both to act the way they do. The thought makes her sad. And angry. Very very angry.


	15. The Break Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly breaks-up with Deanna and Deanna wants to know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for hanging with me so far. I would love if you had the time to write me a note and let me know if I'm on the right track or if you see anything I need to fix. Thanks.

Deanna shows up early Monday morning, two coffees in hand. She’s hoping to get a chance to talk to Beverly before their day starts. She has no idea what to say though. She can’t exactly admit that she eavesdropped on her and Jean-Luc the night before but their conversation bothered her. She was happy to hear that Beverly stood up for herself but it was obvious that Picard wasn’t satisfied with her answers. She is never going to be comfortable in their relationship until he is. Deanna knows that’s not going to happen until she explains exactly what it is that happened to her and why he feels the need to protect her.

She missed Beverly last night. And this morning. It amazes her how much. They only spent two nights together, but going to sleep and waking up without her friend next to her made her feel lonely. She’s hoping for a bit of time to reconnect. A kiss and a bit of cuddling would definitely make her feel better. 

 

Beverly is staring at her computer screen, a pen in her hand and an open file next to her. She doesn’t look up. She has a cup of coffee in front of her and there is one on Deanna’s desk as well. Deanna laughs. 

“I guess I got confused. I thought it was my turn. I am odd after all…”

Beverly doesn’t laugh.

“You bought yesterday. I figured it was my turn. Anyway, I was kind of thinking that maybe we should curtail the coffee thing. It’s expensive. I don’t have a rich husband.” 

Deanna is a bit shocked by her words and by her tone. And disappointed that she didn’t get the greeting that she was hoping for.

“Umm. OK. I didn’t know. I suppose that’s OK. The coffee here is fine. It was just something fun. But I understand. Beverly? Is there something wrong?”

Beverly finally looks up at her.

“No. Not really. Why?”

“I don’t know. I just thought that maybe, you know, when we left last night, things were, umm, a little intense. I know this isn’t the place but I was hoping for maybe a bit more since we were away. This just doesn’t seem like you.”

Beverly’s voice is quiet. 

“I know Dee. I think we need to talk. But not here. Not now. Later?”

Deanna starts to get a sick feeling in her stomach.

“What happened?”

“What do you mean? Nothing happened. And this really isn’t the time or place.”

“No. Something changed. You’ll barely look at me. This isn’t you. Beverly, tell me what’s wrong. I want to help. Please?”

“I told you. And this is me. This is the real me. The me who finally came to her senses. This is wrong Deanna. We both know that. Don’t get me wrong. I like you. I like you a lot. We had a rough weekend, emotional. We made some decisions that, well they seemed like a good idea at the time. Maybe they were, I don’t know. But now we need to be realistic. This isn’t what you want. I want I still us to be friends. I understand if that’s not what you want.”

Deanna starts to feel herself getting angry. 

“You have no idea what I want!”

Beverly shakes her head. 

“I told you. This isn’t the place or time. I don’t want to fight with you. Really. I just think we need to take a step back. Think about it for a while. Right now I have work to do.”

She starts to get up to leave but Deanna steps in front of her.

“No. You’re not getting out of this that easy. I want to know what changed. I know you don’t mean this. I know you. Yesterday you told me how happy you were. And today you want to break up? You don’t get to do that. Not without a damn good explanation!”

Beverly falls back into her chair, trying to think of an answer that will satisfy Deanna. And herself. As Deanna stares at her, she starts to realize exactly what is happening. It’s as if she can feel Beverly’s emotions. She drops to her knee in front of Beverly and puts her hand on her knee.

“What did he say?” she asks quietly.

“What? Who?” Beverly asks though her eyes tell the entire story.

“Jean-Luc. What did he say to you? Why are you acting like this? We both know this isn’t right. Let me help you. I need you. You know this. And I think you need me too.”

Beverly fights the tears in her eyes. 

“Please don’t do this. Please? I can’t. Not now. I just can’t.”

Deanna sits back onto her heels. 

“Fine. But this isn’t over. Not now. Not ever.”

She squeezes Beverly’s leg but when she doesn’t react, Deanna stands to leave with a sigh. Outside their office, she falls back to the wall and lets the tears come. And the anger. This isn’t Beverly talking. This is Picard. His Beverly might be weak and afraid but not hers. Her Beverly is strong and confident and knows what she wants. Picard planted these seeds. It may be coming from love but that doesn't make it right. He doesn’t get to make these decisions. Not for Beverly and certainly not for her. Wherever she and Beverly end up, it’s going to be on their terms, not his. She wants to go straight to his office and tell him. She decides to talk to Alyssa instead.

Inside the office, Beverly flings her arm in frustration, sweeping the coffee cups to the floor and drops her head to the desk in despair.

She finds Alyssa in her office, typing at her computer.

“Hey? Got a minute? It’s personal. Not work.”

Alyssa turns and smiles. “Sure. Miles isn’t in yet. Wanna walk down to the corner and get some coffee?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

Deanna waits until she and Alyssa have their coffee and are sitting at a table outside the coffee shop. Alyssa has already sensed her mood. 

“Is this about Beverly?” she asks. Deanna isn’t surprised. 

“Yeah. Tell me what you know. What happened to her? She won’t talk to me and I want to help her.”

Alyssa shrugs. “I don’t know much. Something in her past. Before she came here. It messed her up though. Really you’re the first person besides the Chief that I’ve seen her even try to be friends with. It’s like she’s afraid of something. I tried to make friends. She was nice enough. We were getting along. And then I asked her out. You know, casual. Just wanted to get to know her a bit better. And she kind of freaked. Not right away. She seemed interested and then, just all of a sudden she cancelled and it’s been all work since then. Don’t get me wrong. She’s still nice and all. Just not interested in anything beyond a work thing.”

“So you knew she was gay?”

“No. Not in so many words. But I had a guess. She seemed to be interested. I thought that maybe there could be something there. I thought we were getting along great. Then nothing.”

“You think it was because you worked together? Is that not allowed?”

“Not that I’ve heard. Been others in relationships. Never seemed to be a problem. Others who have dated are gay. So it’s not that either. Unless she’s in denial or I read her entirely wrong.”

“No. You got it right. And I don’t think that’s it. You think it was Picard?”

Alyssa frowns. “I don’t want to start anything. But yeah. That was my thought. There’s something between them. Miles thinks it’s, well you know what he thinks. That's not what I see. I think he’s like an overprotective father or something. Watches out for her. He’s definitely got something on her.”

Deanna nods. “Yeah. I’m just trying to figure that out. She’s not happy. I know that much. I want to help but I can’t get in. And I’m a little afraid to bring it up with Picard. Not really my place and all that. But I care about her a lot.”

“You mind if I ask about that?” Alyssa asks.

Deanna nods. “Sure.”

Alyssa thinks for a few seconds. “Like I said, she’s never really gotten close with anyone before. She seems to open up to you. Maybe it’s just the psychologist thing. Like with William. People just instinctively trust you where they’re always a little on edge with me. Anyway, I heard you were married and all but then, shit, I’m starting to sound like Miles.” She laughs nervously.

“Alyssa, we both know what we’re talking about here. Just ask.”

“Ok. You and Beverly? You know…”

“Sleeping together?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. A couple of times. And I’m not married. Not anymore. It is new for me. But I like her. A lot. And I know she likes me. I really want to explore this and I know she does too but it’s the same story. Everything is good and then Picard shows up and suddenly it’s all different. Something is really wrong and I just don’t understand.”

“I wish I could help you,” Alyssa shrugs. “I saw it yesterday. You two are good for each other. You think it would help if I talked to her?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll let you know. And thank you. You really have helped me here.”

“I hope so. We should get back. You ready?”

 

Miles meets the women at the door. “Where ya been? We got an ID on Doe 1. Gotta roll.”

Alyssa gives Deanna a pat on the arm and she and Miles head out to find what they can on their victim. Deanna avoids her office, wanting to give Beverly some time and herself a chance to process what Alyssa told her. She goes instead to Keiko’s office to see how she’s doing with the photos and video footage from the media. They spend the rest of the morning studying everything they have, looking for something, anything, out of place at Saturday’s crime scene. 

Keiko finally slams the last photo in her hand down to her desk in frustration.

“Nothing! Not a damn thing.”

Deanna agrees. They’ll send them on for other eyes to look at but it’s pretty clear that there was no one on the hill that morning that shouldn’t have been there. On top of that, as far as Deanna could tell, Geordi LaForge didn’t leave Miles’ side for a second until they headed down to talk to Picard. Again, others would look but it seemed, at least as far as the photographic evidence was concerned, that he couldn’t possibly have had time to leave the site and return with a body of any sort.

“More dead ends! I was sure I was on to something.” Deanna says. Keiko sympathizes. 

“Hey. Until we get something solid, any idea is a good one. Nothing is wasted. You never know what this will lead to. There’s something there. We just haven’t recognized it yet.” 

She looks at Deanna’s face. 

“Hang in there. We’re gonna get this guy. This is just the beginning. We’re the best in the business. Alyssa and Miles. And Beverly. He’s gonna regret picking LA.”

Deanna smiles. “I appreciate your confidence. I’m just having a rough day.”

“I know. C’mon. I’ve got a salad to share. And we can talk. If you want to.”

Deanna nods but she’s done. It’s time to do something. She’s decided that something is going to be to talk to Picard, find out what the hell is going on. It may cost her job but she’s willing give up everything to have Beverly.


	16. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna still can't figure out what is going on with her and Beverly. She decides to confront Picard after a meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uploading from the Oakland Airport. This is how much I love you all. And how much I've missed having wifi this weekend. Let me know what you think please.

Chapter 16

At 4:00 Picard calls everyone together again for a meeting. Though everyone sits in their same places, the air in the room is different. There is no banter, no conversation. Beverly hardly looks at Deanna. Alyssa and Keiko already know something is wrong. Even Miles feels uncomfortable. Picard is all business.

  
Miles starts.

  
“John Doe number one was ID’d as Edward Andrews. Age 28. Not homeless. Had an apartment down near Hollywood. Might as well have been. I mean, even I have standards. Sifted through some of the crap but nothing jumped out. Got LaForge and a coupla the other guys still down there but I don’t see anything useful. Work is nothin'. Day labor when he felt like it. Regulars at peep joints and sleazo bars knew him. Not much to say. Neighbors either didn’t know or didn’t care. Nuttin’ on the gay thing. Seemed to like the ladies, cheaper the better. Think that’s a dead end.”

  
He looks to Alyssa for the rest. Deanna can’t help but think again how well they complement each other.

  
“I’m with Miles. I don’t see this guy did anything to make himself a target. Seems like just a regular low life. Girls on the street knew him well. Most wouldn’t touch him. Nothing violent. No animosity. Just didn’t like him. Guys on the street never heard of him. So I’m a no on any sexual revenge or anything like that. Beverly, any signs of molestation, kink, anything like that?”

  
Beverly shrugs.

  
“There were ligature marks on the wrists and ankles. Read it as part of the killing, not something habitual. I say no too.”

  
Eyes go to Deanna. She thinks for a second and takes a look at the notes she’s taken from what the others have said.

  
“It’s not a lot to work with. I’d like a whole lot more on this guy before I say anything I would stand on. But based on what I see here, I say no. Sounds to me like he was just a guy. Either random or picked for a reason, I can’t say. But I don’t see anything that says this guy deserved it.”

  
“Agreed.” Picard adds. “John Doe number two?”

  
Eyes go to Beverly. She opens her hands.

  
“I’ve got nothing. Been on it all day. No way I’m going to get fingerprints. Dental records are a waste. Not sure he ever met a dentist. Facial composite has gotten no hits anywhere. I’ll keep looking but I don’t see much hope there.”

  
Miles shrugs. “I got nuttin’ to add to that. Showed the pics around Edward’s places. Nuttin’. Not even a maybe. Don’t think he was from the neighborhood. Whatever his story is, it ain’t got nothing to do with Edwards.”

  
“Damn.” Picard swears. “So that one’s a no go. Definitely the same unsub though?”

  
“Yeah.” Beverly adds. “No doubt there." 

“So what’s next?” Picard asks.

  
Just about everyone at the table shrugs.

  
“We’ll keep working the neighborhood,” Miles says. “Maybe something will shake.”

  
“What about the double placement? Please tell me it’s not one of us!”

  
It’s Keiko’s turn. “Deanna and I took a look. Got pics and footage from everyone who was there. Didn’t see anything. Sent them down the line, hopefully someone spots something but if it’s there, I didn’t see anything.”

  
Deanna nods her agreement.

  
Picard sighs. “Well I suppose that’s good news. But damn it’s never easy.”

  
Everyone agrees with that. Without anything left to discuss, he closes the meeting. Beverly jumps up and leaves quickly before Deanna can catch her eye. Alyssa gives her a sympathetic look as she packs her things. Miles and Keiko follow her out, glad to be escaping whatever it is that’s going on. Picard begins to stand to leave when Deanna stops him.

  
“Sir, do you mind? I’d like to talk to you for a minute.”

  
She has trouble reading his expression.

  
“If it’s quick. I’ve got another meeting.”

  
Deanna suspects he knows what this is about and she can tell he really doesn’t want to talk to her. While she’s been thinking all day how to approach him, she’s still terrified that this is going to go very wrong really quickly. She moves to the chair next to him.

  
“If you don’t mind, this is personal.”

  
He squirms. “I’m not sure this is the time or place for this.”

  
“I know. I just need ask. I care for Beverly a great deal. I’m worried about her. You seem to have a great deal of influence with her. I was hoping that you could help me answer some questions.”

  
He tries one more time to get out of the conversation.

  
“Really Counsellor, this is highly inappropriate.”

  
She takes a deep breath and holds her ground.

  
“I understand. And I realize the consequences. But honestly, sir, this is more important to me than a job.”

  
That finally gets his attention and he sits back into his chair.

  
“Fine. I can respect that. Say what you need to say.”

  
Emboldened by his words, she puts more confidence into her voice than she feels.

  
“I’m sure you know that Beverly and I have been seeing each other. I care about her. Very much. I know that it all seems fast, us only knowing each other a couple of weeks."

"There are things you don’t understand," he says

  
She continues, “I know that. That’s why I’m here. We were doing well. We were happy. Beverly was happy. Then you and she talked. Today she won’t even look at me. I need to know what happened.”

  
“Nothing happened. We talked. That’s all. I didn’t tell her to break up with you if that’s what you’re implying.”

  
“With all due respect sir, I heard what you said. What you think is very important to her. It was clear that you disapprove of us. In spite of her defending herself at the time, I think she took your words to heart. She would rather be alone and unhappy than to disappoint you. That’s not what I want for her. I don’t think that’s what you want for her either.”

  
Picard glares at her.

  
“You are right about one thing. This is none of your business.”

  
“No sir. This is my business. I want her to be happy. I love her.”

  
She stands and leaves. Outside the room, she blinks, realizing what she just said. Her thoughts thrill and frighten her at the same time. She knows in her heart that what she feels is real. She needs Beverly in her life. But is this what Beverly wants? Yesterday, the answer would have been yes. Today? She’s not so sure.

“I love her?” she asks herself. “I love Beverly? I think I do.”

  
The thought elates her.


	17. Time to Grow Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly finally tells Deanna what in her past makes her do the things she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******description of physical abuse*******
> 
> Love comments and constructive criticism. Please let me know if I'm going in the right direction with this.

Beverly is sitting at her desk, staring at her computer screen.  She’s been trying to work since she came back down but she’s pretty sure she just read the same sentence three times.   It was all she could do to get through the meeting.  She needs to figure this out.  Being near Deanna, it’s going to be hard.  For a while at least.  She’s going to suggest again that Deanna move her office upstairs. 

 

Beverly is aware the second Deanna enters the office.  It’s not that she sees or even hears her.  It’s more like a feeling, an awareness of her presence.  She closes her eyes.  The feeling doesn’t go away.  She slowly opens them to see Deanna standing in front of her. 

 

“Can we go somewhere and talk?”  Deanna asks.  Her voice is soft.  “Please?  I want to…there’s something I need to say.  A lot of things really.  I’m not angry.  Not anymore, if that’s what you’re worried about.  But Beverly, I’m concerned.  I…just please?”

 

Beverly nods.  “OK.  I guess I owe you that much.”

 

She stands and comes around her desk.  It takes everything Deanna has not to grab her and pull her in.  Holding Beverly, feeling her, whispering her newfound revelation.   She turns and lets Beverly follow her from the room.

 

They decide to go to their wine bar.  It’s a safe place for them.  Safe from emotions, impulses and interference.  After a few minutes of watching Beverly draw lines in the condensation on her glass, Deanna speaks.

 

“I’m not sure what happened but if it’s something I did, I want to apologize to you.  I wanted to call you.  I should have called you.  I just thought that maybe you needed some time.”

 

“It’s not anything you did.  This is about me.  We’ve talked about this before, about taking a step back.  Things just happened so fast, I guess I lost myself.  I’m not good at this kind of thing.”

 

“I don’t understand.  I really don’t.  Yeah things moved fast.  For me even more so.  But it felt, it feels right.  It does for me.  I thought it did for you too?  Time doesn’t have anything to do with it.  Not when something is right.”

 

She reaches out her hand and puts in on top of Beverly’s.  It reminds her of their first night.  The night that she finally admitted what she knew in her heart.  Beverly doesn’t pull her hand away, she just stares at it.

 

“You don’t understand,” she says softly.

 

“Then tell me.”

 

Beverly shakes her head.  “It’s hard.  I can’t understand it myself sometimes.”

 

Deanna takes a chance and moves so she is sitting next to Beverly. 

 

“Would it help if I told you that I already know?”

 

Beverly’s head snaps up.

 

“What did he say?”

 

“Nothing.  Jean-Luc didn’t say anything.  But I heard you last night.  I heard what he said.  I heard what you said.  I’m sorry but I’m glad that I did.  I don’t know.  Not really.  But it makes sense.  Beverly, someone hurt you.  Someone you loved.  They twisted that into something that was ugly.  They made you question you yourself.  They made you question me.  Please tell me if I’m wrong.  If I am I’m sorry.”

 

“No,” she whispers.  “You’re not wrong.”

 

“Then tell me.  Please?  I can help you.  This isn’t about me or even us now.  This is about you.  But you have to let me in.  You have to trust me even if you can’t trust yourself.”

 

Beverly’s answer is so soft that Deanna can’t make out her words.

 

“What?”

 

“I said OK.”

 

Deanna lets out a sigh of relief.

 

Very slowly, Beverly starts to talk.

 

“I met her during my residency.  I was young and shy and she was a doctor and so beautiful.  No one had ever said they loved me before.  I didn’t believe her.  Not at first.  I didn’t think anyone could love me.  Not where I came from.  But she did.  She took me home and she showed me what it was like to be in love.  And I did love her.  I would do anything for her.  I did.  And when Jean-Luc told me he was worried, I didn’t listen.  She told me he was jealous.  He was alone.  He would always be alone.  And I would be too.  It was what I deserved after all.  The daughter of a whore.  But she would save me.   All he would do was make me like him.   So I stopped talking to him.  I had no one else.  No one had ever really cared about me.  No one but her.”

 

Deanna feels like her heart is breaking.  Beverly was the perfect target.  She knows where the story is going but there’s nothing she can do to stop it.  These are words that Beverly needs to say.

 

“I loved her Deanna.  I really did.  I wanted to make her feel as loved as she made me feel.  But it was so hard.  Not at first.  I had the life I had always dreamed about.  But she was jealous.  She didn’t like me talking to the other doctors.  She got mad if I tried to make a friend.  I loved her so much I stopped trying.  I wanted to make her happy.  But things kept getting worse.  We worked in the same hospital.  She would check up on me.  We ate together always.  She started accusing me of seeing other people.  I told her I would never do that but she didn’t believe me.  And then it started.  Little things.  I forgot to call her, to tell her I had an emergency with a patient.  I thought she would understand.  She said I ruined dinner.  She threw the plate at me.  I cried and she apologized.  She sent me flowers.  She told me how much she loved me, that she was worried something had happened to me.  But you know how it goes.  It never got better.  Any little thing would set her off.  The first time she hit me, she cried.  She got on her knees.  She begged me to forgive her.  She said it would never happen again.  It did.  Deanna, it got so bad, I thought she was going to kill me.  She had her hands on my throat.  I was so scared.  But I still couldn’t leave.  How could I?  I didn’t have a home.  I didn’t have a family.  She said she would have me fired.  She could do that.  And then what?  She said I would have to be like my mother.  It was what I deserved.  And I thought it was.  For all I knew, that was what had really happened to my mother.  So I stayed.”

 

“But you got out.  You found the strength to leave.  You are nothing like your mother.  You know that.”

 

Beverly shakes her head. 

 

“No.  I didn’t.  I couldn’t.  It was so bad Deanna.  I was so scared.  Not of her as much as that she was right about me.  If it wasn’t for Jean-Luc…  I tried to keep him away.  But I couldn’t.  He came to see me.  I didn’t want to let him in.  But he knew.  Somehow he knew.  He saw the bruises.  He took me away.  He hid me.  He told her that if she ever came near me, he would arrest her.  He had to physically detain me.  Deanna, I would have never left her.  I knew she would kill me and I didn’t care.  He saved me.  Again.”

 

“He loves you Beverly.  He loves you very much.  And I know you think you owe him your life.  You do.  But that doesn’t make him right.  Not about this.  Not about us.”

 

Beverly shakes her head again.  “No Deanna.  You don’t understand.  He knows.  He knows me.  He knows how I am.  He knows.”

 

Deanna takes a deep breath.  She puts her hands on Beverly’s cheeks and pulls her closer.

 

“I do understand Beverly.  I understand that you have had some horrible things happen.  But they aren’t your fault.  None of them are your fault.  You have to learn from them.  You become stronger.  And you are.  You’re not a little girl and you’re not helpless.  You are a grown woman.  You are smart and you are the most loving person I know.  You have a beautiful heart and I am thankful that you have shared it with me.  You are stronger than you know.  I’ve seen it.  I’ve seen it in the way you work and in the way you live.  I saw it in the way you stood up to Jean-Luc last night.”

 

Beverly looks surprised. 

 

“I heard what you said.  And you were right.  You are a different person now.  You know who you are and what you want.  You told him you trusted yourself.  What happened to that trust?  What changed?”

 

“I don’t know.  I just, I guess I just knew that what he said was right.  He’s just trying to help.  To protect me.  Like he always does.  Deanna, you know this isn’t right.  God how I wish it was but you still love Will.  And you’re not gay.  He’s been telling me but I was stupid like I always am and I let myself believe in the fairy tale.”

 

Deanna drops her hands.  She feels the anger again.

 

“How dare you!  And how dare him!  To presume that you know me.  To know who I am.  I’m the only one who gets to decide these things.  Not you and certainly not him!  It is none of his business how I live my life!  I get to decide who I love, no one else.”

 

Beverly is shocked.  She’s never heard Deanna speak like this.  Deanna continues,

 

“You need to make a decision Beverly.  You can live the life he thinks you should or you can live your own life.  I’m going to be whoever I want to be.  I want you in my life but only if you’re going to stand by your words.  Trust yourself.  You decide what’s best for you.  Grow and live the life you choose.  Just be damn sure it’s your decision and no one else’s!”

 

With that she turns to go and leaves Beverly sitting with her mouth open.


	18. A Peace Offering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna put her job and relationship at risk. Now she needs to figure out how to put her perfect life back together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is my favorite chapter so far. It is the heart of the story. Please let me know what you think.

All the way home, Deanna replays the day’s events in her mind. She started out with so much hope and then it all went to Hell. So much for her great new life. In less than two hours, she told off her boss for interfering and her girl friend to grow up. She might as well go back to Texas and live in her mother’s garage.

As she pulls into her own garage, she notices BOB, the human shaped martial arts dummy Will bought for her to practice on. She gives it a hard left hook to the jaw. It feels good and she hits it again without bothering with gloves or to wrap her hands. All of the anger she has for everyone, Beverly, Picard, the woman Beverly spoke about, herself, she lets it all out.

 

Finally spent she gives it one last good front kick to the groin and then falls forward and leans her head against it. She hears someone behind her. She turns to see Beverly standing at the door to her garage. 

“What do you want?” she asks.

Beverly doesn’t speak, just holds out her hand with a cup of coffee in it. Deanna doesn’t move.

“I’m not really very thirsty.”

Beverly drops her eyes.

“I know. It’s a peace offering. I thought about getting you flowers but this seemed more appropriate. I know you probably don’t want to see me. I screwed up. Bad. I’m just so confused right now. All I know is that I don’t want it to end. Not yet. Not like this. Please Deanna. Just talk to me. You were right. I know that. I’ve always known that. It’s just so hard. In my head. I just don’t know anymore…”

She continues to babble and Deanna finally gives in and reaches for the coffee. Beverly notices her the blood on her hand and stops mid-sentence.

“Oh my God Deanna! What did you do?”

Deanna looks at her hands, noticing for the first time that she’s ripped the skin on the knuckles of both hands. She shrugs.

“That has to hurt. Why did you do that? This is because of me! Oh Deanna I am so sorry.”

Deanna just shrugs again. She’s numb to everything right now, including the pain in her hands.

“We need to go inside and clean you up. It’s going to get infected if we don’t. Come.”

She gently takes Deanna’s hand and leads her to the sink in the kitchen.

“This is going to sting,” she says as she puts Deanna’s hand under the warm water.

Deanna finally reacts, swearing at the pain.

“I’m sorry,” Beverly says as she gently cleans the wounds on one hand and then the other. As she’s patting them dry, she notices another rip on Deanna’s elbow.

“Dee? How did you do that?”

“Elbow strikes.”

“Why?

“It felt good. Hitting something. Better than hitting someone.”

“Well I suppose that’s true. Am I the one you wanted to hit?”

“One of them.”

“I guess I probably deserved it. I’m glad you held yourself back.” 

She gives Deanna a weak smile and Deanna smiles back.

“I would never hit you Beverly. Not ever.”

Beverly realizes what she said and her face darkens.

“I know.” 

They sit quietly while Beverly applies an antibiotic ointment and gently wraps Deanna’s hands with gauze.

“There you go,” she says quietly. “All better. Do you want me to make you something to eat?”

Deanna shakes her head. 

“We can’t just act like nothing happened Beverly. We need to deal with this. You need to deal with this. No matter what happens with us, you need to heal yourself. I’ll help find you a therapist if you want but you need help. More help than I can give you.”

Beverly nods. “I know. I’m ready. You brought a lot of things to my attention today. I didn’t realize how easy I’m manipulated. How much I need Jean-Luc’s approval. He doesn’t mean it. I know that but I need to be strong enough to stand up for myself and then stick by it. I tried. I thought I did but then the doubts came back, the fear. I trust you Deanna. I really do. It’s myself I don’t trust.”

Deanna touches Beverly’s hand where it lies on the table. 

“I know. And I know why. What you’ve been through, it would break even the strongest person. You survived. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. You have so much to offer, so much love. Just take a chance. I think you’ll be surprised with what happens.”

“You’re talking about yourself aren’t you?”

Deanna nods. 

“Beverly. I want you to tell me.”

“What?”

“You know what I mean. Take a chance. Say it.”

Beverly closes her eyes. Deanna can see she’s fighting with herself, what she wants and what she fears. She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes. Looking deep into Deanna’s, she lets it go.

“Deanna. I…I love you.”

Deanna tries to blink her tears away.

“I love you too Beverly. I love you. I want this more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. I want you. Please say you want me too.”

Beverly has tears now too. 

“I do Deanna. More than anything. I want you. I love you.”

They fall into each other’s arms and hold each other tight.

 

Deanna and Beverly spend the evening on the couch, just holding each other and talking, wiping away each other’s tears. 

“I’m happy Deanna.” Beverly says. “I really am. I love you so much. The thought that you didn’t feel the same, that you might go back to Will, I couldn’t deal with that. It scared the shit out of me. It was easier to think about being alone than to think about you leaving me. You’ve never slept with a woman before. You never even thought about it. I can’t see how you would want to be with me when you’re not even attracted to women.”

“You’re still not getting it!” Deanna says with exasperation. “I love you for who you are, not for what you are. The rest is just details. It doesn’t matter to me one way or the other as long as I have your heart.”

“So you’re attracted to me? You like having sex with me?”

“God Beverly! Sex with you is amazing. I will never stop loving that. You make me feel things I’ve never ever felt before. And yes I’m attracted to you. I love the way you look, the way you feel, the way you smell. All I can think about when I’m near you is how much I want to touch you, how much I want you to touch me. Please believe me. I never want to be with anyone else, man or woman. Only you. Can you trust that?”

Beverly nods but her eyes say she’s still not sure.

“Can I show you?” Deanna asks. “Please? Let me show you how much I love you, hold you, make love to you.”

The thought of Deanna’s body against hers is too much for Beverly to resist. She dips her head in approval and closes her eyes as Deanna brushes her fingers across her chest.

“I love your breasts. So soft.” She moves her hand inside Beverly’s shirt, ignoring the pain in her hand. As she presses her lips to Beverly’s neck she whispers, “I love the way you taste, sweet and salty.” Beverly groans and she continues, pulling her fingers through Beverly’s hair. “I love the way you smell. Like a warm summer day.”   
She tries to slide her hand inside the waistband of Beverly’s pants and then jerks it away when the fabric scrapes against her knuckles.

“Deanna. No. Your hands.”

“It’s OK. I’ve got it figured out. I just need a little help here.”

“Are you sure….”

Deanna quiets her with a kiss and pushes Beverly’s shirt up and tugs again at her waistband. Beverly finally acquiesces and Deanna begins to taste the newly exposed skin.

Beverly grabs at her. 

“Don’t.”

Deanna freezes. “I’m sorry. I just thought, you don’t like that?”

“No. I do. But you…”

Deanna glares at her. “Will you please stop? How can I prove to you that I’ve made my decision? This, YOU, are what I want. Will you let me show you?”  
Beverly slowly nods. Deanna starts to nuzzle her soft red hair and Beverly sighs, finally letting Deanna in. 

Deanna breaths deeply, taking in the new smells of her lover, her body quivering with excitement and desire. At first touch, she’s fascinated by the soft silkiness on her tongue. She tries different things, things she knows that Will has always liked and is pleased to feel Beverly’s body respond as well. It’s not long before Beverly’s hands are tangled in her hair, pulling and pushing in desperation as she prolongs her pleasure for as long as possible. Finally, when Beverly is at her breaking point, she sucks gently while Beverly cries out and wraps her legs tight. 

Pleased with herself, she slowly makes her way back up Beverly’s long beautiful body. Beverly wraps her arms around her shoulders, pulling her tight. Deanna melts into her with a deep sigh.

“Do you believe me now?” she asks with a laugh to her voice.

“I can’t believe I ever doubted you.”

Deanna smiles. “Good. Because I want to make love to you every day for the rest of my life.”

Beverly gives her a long slow kiss.

“I want that too. I do love you Deanna. I do. I just have a lot of work I need to do. Now I know I want to do it with you by my side.”  
Deanna lays her hand on Beverly’s cheek. “I love you too. I will be here when you need me. Always.”  
There are no more words as Beverly pulls Deanna to her feet and leads her to the bedroom.

 

He sits, waiting, picking at his nails. He is no longer the lead story. In fact, his work is barely mentioned. Mayde is reporting on another story. The timing is wrong. He hates this. He doesn’t have two years. He doesn’t have two weeks. He needs her to see him now. To love him like he loves her. It’s time….


	19. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picard finally tells his story and why he worries so much about Beverly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the mushy stuff. I promise. Though I do love the mushy....
> 
> Oh and if you haven't tried Ethiopian food, run, do not walk, to your nearest restaurant! (I can recommend an amazing family restaurant in San Diego. I'm still looking for one with gluten free Injara in Portland.)

Deanna is lying on Beverly’s shoulder, her arm wrapped around her waist. She’s enjoying the feel of Beverly’s skin and the warm tingle she feels deep inside. Beverly has her eyes closed and Deanna wonders if she might be falling asleep.

After a few minutes, Beverly speaks.

“I should go.”

Deanna doesn’t respond. 

“I would love to stay,” she continues, “but I shouldn’t. I’ve got to feed Rudi. Besides, I have a lot I need to think about. I can’t think about anything when you’re next to me. Anything but what I want to do to you.”

Deanna thinks about that. Is she as guilty as Picard? Did she manipulate Beverly with her own emotions? The same as he did? The last thing she needed to help clear her mind was sex and yet here they are. Again. As a psychologist, she should be ashamed. As a lover, she would do it again in a heartbeat. She sighs.  
“Dee? Are you sleeping?”

“No. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh. OK. I guess I should go then.”

Deanna lets her go but when Beverly tries to roll away, she grabs her arm.

“Just promise me one thing? Whatever you decide, please don’t shut me out. Talk to me. I’m here for you. Always. Whether we’re together or not, you’re still my best friend. OK?”

Beverly smiles and kisses her softly. “OK.”

 

Deanna beats Beverly into the office in the morning. She tries to review some files but her mind keeps wandering, wondering if Beverly has changed her mind again. She is relieved when she sees the beautiful redhead enter the office with a smile. She holds out a coffee cup.

“I thought we weren’t doing this anymore?” Deanna asks.

 

Beverly blushes.

“No. It’s our thing. I’m sorry about that. I got you something new. It’s Black Forrest. It comes with a chocolate covered cherry.”

“It’s delicious.”

“Almost as delicious as you,” Beverly says, her cheeks pinking.

 

Deanna takes Beverly’s hand and pulls her to a chair.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

She explains her conversation with Picard the day before. 

“Do you think I still have a job?” She asks nervously.

Beverly thinks for a second.

“Yeah. He may be a stubborn old man but he is reasonable. I wish you hadn’t done it but I understand why you did. I’ll talk to him. He’ll understand.”

Deanna nods and with a squeeze of their hands, they turn back to their desks.

Someone clears their throat at the door.

“Beverly?” It’s Picard’s voice. “I’d like it if maybe we could talk. Lunch? At Guinan’s?”

“Sure. 12:30 ok?”

“Sounds good. I have another obligation. I will meet you there.”

“Oh and Counsellor?” His voice is tentative. “I would appreciate it if you were to come too. This involves you as well.”

He turns on his heel and leaves. Deanna looks at Beverly and she shrugs.

 

The two women ride together to the restaurant. Deanna isn’t sure but Beverly explains that, no matter what Picard has to say, she’s committed to seeing this relationship through and he needs to understand that. “I’m done hiding” she says. “It’s time to let everyone know that I’m in love with you.” 

Picard arrives at the same time and all three enter the restaurant together. They are met at the door by a beautiful black woman. She has long braids and a flowing purple dress. On her head is an odd looking hat in the same color. A wide smile is on her face. She greets Jean-Luc and Beverly by name. Beverly introduces her to Deanna as Guinan. Guinan grabs Deanna and pulls her into the same tight hug she gave the other two. In Deanna’s ear she whispers “it is so good to finally meet you.” As she leads the threesome to their table, Beverly quietly fills Deanna in on who she is.

“She and Jean-Luc have been friends for many years. I don’t know the whole story but it has something to do with him getting her out of some sort of trouble. She has an uncanny ability to know things that others don’t. She’s the only one besides Jean-Luc and you who know what happened to me.”

At the table, there is some hesitation in who is going to sit next to whom. Finally Beverly grabs Deanna’s hand and pulls her in as she slides across the seat. Jean-Luc scowls a bit but doesn’t say anything as he sits on the other side.

All three sit quietly, waiting for someone to break the silence. Finally Picard speaks.

“Beverly, I owe you an apology. And you too Deanna. It was brought to my attention that I may have said some things that were inappropriate. I know it’s hard to understand, but my intentions were not malicious. I just, well Beverly, I just don’t want to see you hurt. Perhaps I overstepped my boundaries. I do trust you Beverly. I’m sorry I implied that I don’t. You are different now, stronger, I see that. Maybe it’s me that can’t move on.”

Beverly takes his hand. Deanna can see the tears in her eyes. 

“Thank you Jean-Luc. What you think means everything to me. I love Deanna but I can’t do this without you too. You’re all that I have.”

Picard nods.

“I need to tell you a story. Parts you know. But not the whole thing.” He takes a deep breath. He stares at the table as he begins to talk.

“I was young. I had only been on the force a couple of weeks. I was wholly unprepared for the emotional toll the job would take. My first murder, it was a young woman. She was beautiful, at least she had been, before her skull was crushed.”

Beverly realizes he is talking about her mother and she stiffens, her eyes dropping to the table. Deanna feels her discomfort. She gently touches her hand to Beverly’s knee and Beverly gives her a small, grateful smile. If Picard notices, he doesn’t let on.

“The scene itself, that didn’t bother me, I was prepared for that, but we weren’t alone. There was a young girl in the apartment. She was the spitting image of her mother with bright red hair and blue eyes. It was her eyes. I couldn’t take my own eyes off of them. They sparkled with an intelligence and defiance that I had never seen before. In spite of her situation, she was a survivor. I recognized that in her as I was a survivor too. My childhood was…difficult.”

He looks at Beverly, “I’ve never told you this. I pulled myself up and out and I recognized the same spirit in you.”

He takes a long drink of his water before he continues.

“Being the junior officer, the others put me in charge of the girl. I didn’t mind. I already knew that I loved her. You see, I knew I would never have a child, even if I had wanted one. My life, my situation, I knew it would never happen. This child, I, well I knew she was meant to be mine. I took her to the station. I fed her and we talked. She told me about her mother, about her life, the men and what they did. How she made meals and cleaned her mother when she was sick from the drugs. She was only six years old but she had seen more in her lifetime than anyone deserved. I almost hoped that we wouldn’t find a relative to take her. I would have her and she would be mine. I cried when her grandmother came to get her.”

Beverly is shocked by his words. It’s obvious that he has never shared any of this with her, how he deeply he felt. Deanna can only hold her knee tighter, let her know that she’s there.

“I tried to forget about her. Go one with my life, such as it was. I threw myself into my work. I made detective in three years, almost unheard of. All the time I knew I was missing something. I couldn’t get her out of my mind, out of my dreams. I knew in my heart that she was meant to be mine. I kept in touch with her grandmother, I called every six months or so. I knew things weren’t good but what could I do? I had no claim. I sent gifts.”

He pauses and addresses Beverly directly. “I don’t know if you ever received them.”

“Books? Oz? Sherlock Holmes? Shakespeare?”

Picard nods.

“I got them. I knew they weren’t from my grandmother. They just appeared on my bed. I still have them…” Her last words are almost a whisper.

He smiles slightly, pleased that, even though she never knew who they were from, they were important to her.

“You never shared them with me?” he asks.

“I never shared them with anyone. They are where they have always been, in a box under my bed. At my worst times, I would get them out. Just to touch them, they always made me feel better.”

Deanna is shocked by the connection that Beverly and Jean-Luc share. They only met briefly and yet their lives have been intertwined ever since. It’s no wonder their bond is so strong.

“You know the rest. I had the paperwork to be a foster parent completed before your grandmother died. I knew she wasn’t well. I was afraid if you went out on your own, that I would never know you. You would have been fine. You’ve always been fine. It was for me. To have someone in my life to care about.”

He pauses again and takes her hand.

“I’m telling you this now, all of this, not as an apology but as an explanation. I worry about you Beverly, this is true, but everything I’ve done has been selfish. Seeing you hurt, it hurts me more than you can know. When you were with that woman, it was the worst time of my life. Not being able to talk to you, to protect you from her, it almost killed me. And now, when I see you moving away from me I’m just scared that I might lose you again. I do have concerns, everything I said, I believed it to be true. That doesn’t excuse my behavior though. You are right, you are strong and you are different. You’re entitled to make your own decisions, to decide what and who makes you happy. I was wrong to tell you any differently. I will always be here if you need me and I very much want to be a part of your life but it’s time that I step back and let you be the woman you are meant to be.” 

He turns his attention to Deanna.

“Counsellor, you brought some things to my attention. Your behavior was inappropriate, to say the least. If you ever do it again I will fire your ass but I do thank you for giving me the kick I needed. You gave me a great deal to think about.”

Deanna smiles. “I’m just happy I still have a job,” she jokes. “Seriously though, I appreciate everything you and Beverly have been through together. I understand now, how you depend on each other. I don’t ever want to be seen as a threat to your relationship. I will never do anything to turn Beverly away from you in any way. I just hope that you can do the same.”

Picard nods. “Never again. I promise. I just want you both to be happy.”

“That’s all I want Jean-Luc, for all of us,” Beverly says. “I love you. And I love Deanna. I want us to be a family.”

It is at this moment that Guidan arrives with a large platter of steaming food.

“Things were looking a bit mushy. I thought perhaps some Wat and Injara were in order,” she says as she lays the large plate in the middle of the table.

“That smells heavenly,” Deanna exclaims.

“It should. I worked all day on it! Ethiopian. Lamb and lentil stew. Tear pieces of the flat bread and scoop it up with your fingers,” she instructs.

As she walks away, Beverly explains, “There are no menus here. She just makes what she feels like. Sometimes it’s a feast. Sometimes it’s a cheese sandwich. No matter what, it’s always delicious.”

Deanna doesn’t answer, her mouth full of Injara and lamb.

By the time the food is gone, the threesome are debating the wisdom of a siesta over going back to work. Their discussion is interrupted by the buzzing of a cell phone. Jean-Luc pulls his out with a sigh.

“Picard here.” 

As he listens to the voice on the other end, his frown deepens. 

“Merde!” He swears as he looks up to Beverly and Deanna. “We’ve got another body.”


	20. Numero Thres

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A third body is found. The pressure is on Deanna to come up with a profile on the killer.

Beverly, Deanna and Picard arrive at the crime scene just as Alyssa and Miles do. They all gather around the lead officer on the scene. He brings them up to speed on what he knows.

“Lady and a dog found the body. Was stuffed inside a burlap bag inside a basket. She opened it just enough to see an arm and called us. All we did was verify and called you all. Figured it might be one of yours. We’ve got a perimeter set up with crowd control.” He waves his arm in the direction of the gathering crowd being held at the corner by several officers while others set up road blocks on either end. Picard thanks him and asks him to stick close. They all go to see what exactly they are dealing with.

Alyssa takes photos while the rest examine the basket and the surrounding area. Picard waves for several officers and Beverly instructs them on how she wants the body removed. What they find is shocking. Inside the burlap bag is the torso of a woman. Her head, legs and left arm have been removed. Just like the previous bodies, this one has been scrubbed clean post mortem. Beverly estimates the time of death to be no more than 12 hours. The amputations seem to be similar to the previous bodies as well. 

Picard organizes a group of officers to search the neighborhood for witnesses and for the missing body parts while Alyssa, Miles and Beverly do their work. He then leaves for his office. The phone calls will be starting soon. 

Meanwhile, Deanna backs up from the scene. Her interest is not in the body itself but in the people working. She pays attention to everyone working on the site, especially those who worked the previous crime scene. She keeps a close eye on Geordi LaForge. She also periodically scans the crowd, looking for anyone who seems out of place or that she might recognize. No one stands out to her. 

A woman at the nearest barricade is yelling and waving her arms. She turns her attention toward that. It seems that the woman is trying to gain Keiko’s attention. Keiko goes to her and speaks to the officer holding the woman back. He lets her in. Deanna moves closer so that she can listen to their conversation.

“Mayde. We really need to stop meeting like this.” Keiko says.

The woman smiles. “I keep meaning to call but, you know how it is, busy.”

Keiko nods. “You know I can’t tell you anything.”

Mayde laughs. “Can’t blame a girl for trying. Oh and I just wanted to give you a heads up, bigwigs at the station want to give this guy a name. Want me to be the first to say it. Thinking “The Butcher” of Hollywood is sounding good.”

Keiko sighs. “I wish you wouldn’t do that. Really don’t want this guy thinking he’s anything special.”

“I know. Can’t stop it. Thought you would appreciate the warning.”

“Thanks for that. Hold it as long as possible?”

Mayde nods. Keiko turns and sees Deanna close and waves her over. “Deanna Troi is our department psych. Deanna this is Mayde Gonzalez. Channel 7 news. I try not to hold that against her.”

The beautiful Latina laughs and takes Deanna’s hand. 

“She’s right about the name thing.” Deanna says. “It won’t help us at all.”

“I understand but it’s out of my hands. I’ll try to put it off until the 11:00 edition but that’s the best I can do.”

She turns to leave with a “call me” gesture to Keiko. Keiko laughs. “I’m still not telling you anything.”

“yeah yeah.”

 

Deanna goes to find Beverly. “Anything?” 

“Yeah. But nothing helpful. Left a hand to get fingerprints so maybe we’ll have a chance of an ID. Not that it’s going to do much good but you never know. I’m done here. Gonna meet my new friend back at the lab. You need a ride?”

Deanna shakes her head. “I’ll catch a ride back. You’ll be there for a while?”

“Undoubtedly.” 

 

After another hour of observation with no insight, Deanna rides back to the station with Alyssa. Picard has called everyone in for an update and first impressions while junior officers knock on doors looking for possible witnesses.

“Looks like you and Beverly figured things out?” Alyssa asks.

Deanna looks at her. “You don’t miss much do you?”  
Alyssa laughs. “Hazard of the job.”

“We talked. Things are good for now.”

“I think you two did more than talk.” Alyssa says with a wink.

Deanna just shakes her head.

 

The team gathers around the conference table to share what they know. As usual, Miles starts.

“This one’s a puzzler for sure. Gut says it’s the same guy but things don’t add up. I mean, what kind of whack job goes after men and women? Couples I’ve seen but switching teams? I don’t get it.”

“It is unusual,” Deanna offers, “but not entirely unheard of. Says this isn’t a sexual thing. The motive is going to be more complicated than that.”

“We’re sure this is the same guy?” Picard asks.

Beverly nods this time. “Yeah. Cuts are identical to the first two. Got a hit on the prints at least.” 

Miles quickly writes down the name.

“Looks like she’s homeless too.” Beverly adds. “Most recent arrest was for loitering and public intox but she’s also got a few for prostitution.”

“Beautiful,” Miles mutters. “Just beautiful. Got anything else? Wanna head out to the mission before dinner starts. See if anyone has anything for us.”

Picard dismisses Miles and Alyssa then turns his attention to Deanna. 

“We need a profile Counsellor. Yesterday.”

Deanna nods. “Understood. I’ll get you a full report tomorrow but off the cuff I say young male, 20’s to mid 30’s. Uneducated. Single. Familiar with the homeless camps. Not homeless now though. He’s got a place where he does his thing. Somewhere out of the way. Or a place that masks the smell. He’s not smart enough to be making this up himself. He’s got someone telling him what to do. A plan. He’s not going to make a mistake until he gets what he wants. I’m guessing attention.”

“Merde.” Picard swears again. “We have to wait for the endgame?”

“No. I don’t think so. We can get ahead of this. Figure out what he wants. What the pl`n is. He won’t be able to adapt. We can predict his next move/ We just need more information.”

“Well then let’s be damn sure we get some. Get this to Ogawa and O’Brien and to Keiko too. Figure out what to tell the press. I’ll handle the precincts. Unless there’s more, go home. Tomorrow’s going to be a rough one.”

He gets up and leaves Beverly and Deanna alone in the conference room.

“How’re you doing?” Beverly asks.

Deanna laughs. “That’s my line! Tired. Frustrated. Got a headache coming on.”

“Come home with me then.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I just want to talk. And Rudi misses you.”

“Just talk huh? Nothing more?”

Beverly smiles. “We’ll see.”


	21. A Cat's Approval

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly takes Deanna home again after another rough day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking with me so far. I'm loving this story and I hope you all are too. Don't worry, I've got a plan in place...

Rudi completely ignores Beverly as they come through the door, focusing all of his love on Deanna’s ankles. She goes straight to the kitchen to make him his dinner while Beverly starts theirs. When all three have finished eating, they settle on the couch together. Beverly wraps her arm around Deanna’s shoulder while Rudi curls up on her lap. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Beverly asks?

“Talk about what?”

“I don’t know. What you were thinking this morning. Jean-Luc. The crime scene. It seems that so much has happened in such a short time. It’s hard for me to process it all.”

“Do you mind if we don’t talk about anything? I just want to relax. Just enjoy our time together. My head is killing me.”

“Of course I don’t mind. Can I make you something for your headache?”

She goes out onto her balcony and brings in a clipping from a plant. In the kitchen, she uses a mortar and pestle to grind up the leaves then pours hot water over them. After straining the plant material out, she adds a bit of honey and a hefty dose of cayenne and brings it to Deanna. Deanna takes a sip.

“Wow! That’s spicy. But good. What is it?”

“Feverfew. It’s an herb. Reduces inflammation. Great to prevent migraines. Cayenne increases blood flow.”

“What’s the honey for?”

“To make it taste good.” Beverly laughs.

“Oh. How did you learn all this? And did you really grow the plant?”

“My grandmother. She was an herbalist. A healer. It was the one thing we had in common. She taught me everything. I just don’t get much chance to use it. It’s hard to grow plants on the balcony. They just don’t get that much sun.”

“You never cease to surprise me.” Deanna tells her.

“I hope I can always surprise you. And make you feel better. Is it helping at all?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I can tell you what might help though.”

“Oh?”

Deanna pulls Beverly close and kisses her.

“Oh!” Beverly says with a smile. 

Rudi watches as Beverly takes Deanna’s hand and leads her to the bedroom. He brings a paw to his mouth and gives it a lick with a contented purr.

 

He watches carefully as Mayde’s beautiful face comes on the screen. God! He loves her so much. She talks about his work like she’s in awe of him. She even gives him a name. The Butcher of Hollywood. It’s like she knows him already. Soon he will reveal himself, tell her that he is the one. She will love him as much as he loves her.  
But wait? What was that? He rewinds the broadcast and watches carefully. The camera pans the scene. And there’s Mayde. He pauses the image and looks closer. She is talking to someone. A woman. He recognizes the Asian woman. She works for the police. The other woman is new. She’s shorter but has the same long black hair. She’s beautiful. Almost as beautiful as his Mayde. He smiles. Mayde and the short woman. He feels himself getting hard. Tonight will be a good night.


	22. Ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its a short one this time. Its a bit of a bridge chapter to set up the next couple of parts of the story. That and I had to do the coffee joke. Enjoy!

Deanna left her car at the station the night before so she and Beverly drive to work together. Beverly stops to get coffee. As they order, Deanna pulls out her debit card to pay.

“No. You don’t have to buy for me.” Beverly tells her.

“Of course I do. It’s my day.”

Beverly shakes her head. “That doesn’t make any sense when we’re together.”

Deanna thinks for a second. “Ok. I’ll tell you what. You let me get yours and I’ll pay for my own.”

“Ok. Sounds goo….wait! What?”

Deanna smiles. The barista has already taken her card with a snicker.

“That was mean.” Beverly scowls at her.

Deanna just shrugs as she signs the receipt and takes her coffee.

 

In the office, Beverly stares at the pile of files on her desk with a sigh.

“What they hell happened last night? Was it a full moon?” 

She grabs the first one and heads out to her lab while Deanna settles in front of her computer.

 

Several hours later she returns. She throws her safety glasses onto her desk and pulls the pony tail holder out of her hair. Deanna turns around.

“You OK?” 

“Yeah I will be. I just hate the kids. Wasn’t even an accident. So many people dying for a baby and these people…I just can’t….”

Deanna gets up and pulls her into a hug. 

“I’m sorry.”

Beverly pulls herself together. 

“I’m Ok. Thanks. Just need to let it out sometimes. I’ll be OK. How about you? Get anywhere on your profile?”

Deanna lets her go but keeps ahold of her hand.

“Yeah. I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s good. I think it is. Sent it to Picard. I stand by it. There’s just something that’s bothering me about it.”

“Like what?”

She shrugs. “I wish I knew. It will come to me. Just need to keep working it around in my head. Think like this guy for a while.”

“Well don’t dwell on it too much. What are you doing for lunch? I’ve got court all afternoon but I’ve got time for a gyro if you want.”

“I would love that. Got plans for later?”

Beverly drops her eyes. “Kind of. I was going to spend some time with Jean-Luc. We, umm, we have some things to talk about.”

Deanna puts her finger under Beverly’s chin and brings her face back up. 

“I meant what I said Beverly. I will never come between you and Jean-Luc. I would never do that. I know how important he is to you. And you to him. You wouldn’t be who you are without him and I   
love who you are. Besides, I have a project I want to work on.”

“Thank you,” Beverly says as she places a soft kiss on Deanna’s lips. “I love you too. Are you going to share this project?” 

“No. I don’t think so. Not yet anyway.”

“Not even if I do this?” Beverly asks as she kisses her again.

“You can do that all you want. But I’m not going to tell.”

“Well darn. I guess I better go get changed so we can walk down for lunch. Gimme 5?”

Deanna finally lets go of her hand with a nod and a smile.

 

At home, Deanna pours herself a glass of wine and puts her feet up on the deck chair next to her. She opens her laptop and starts searching. She smiles. This is one of the best ideas she’s ever had!

 

He can’t stop thinking about her. Mayde, of course, she’s always on his mind. But this other woman. The one on the TV. He has to know who she is. She must be a friend of Mayde’s. Mayde must have told her about him. She came to see for herself. His work. She loves him too. He needs to see her again. He needs to work. It’s the only way he can get her to come again. To see her again. To find out who she is. It’s going to be a long night.


	23. Watchers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cryptic letter, another body, a revelation and a disturbance in the force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for sticking so far. We're getting close to the end. As always....comments, suggestions and constructive criticism are always welcome.

Deanna is sitting at her desk, impatiently waiting for Beverly, and her coffee, to show up. She hears a tap on the door and turns around with a smile. It’s Keiko, not Beverly. Deanna stands and greets her.

“Keiko! This is a surprise. What brings you down to the basement?”

Keiko waves another person in.

“You remember Mayde? From Channel 7?”

“Of course. How are you?” Deanna asks, holding out her hand. Mayde takes it but it’s obvious to Deanna that she’s not here to socialize. Keiko speaks for her.

“This letter showed up this morning on Mayde’s desk. I wanted you to have a look at it before I send it to forensics.” She waves a plastic bag with a piece of paper in it. Deanna gestures to her chair for

Mayde and pulls Beverly’s for Keiko then sits on the edge of her desk. Keiko hands her the letter and she skims it.

“What is it?” she asks.

“I found it on my desk this morning. No envelope, just that laying there. Problem is, no one is supposed to be able to get into the pit, the area where we work. Not without credentials. No one saw anyone last night or this morning. Somehow, this guy got in. And he knew which one was my desk. I have to say I’m a little freaked out by this.”

“I can understand that.” Deanna tells her. She hands the bagged letter back to Keiko and takes the photocopy she offers instead. Deanna reads it more carefully this time.

 

_I have come to sunny California for the winter. I felt bad operating on those people, but science must advance. I shall astound the medical profession._   
_What did their lives mean in comparison to hundreds of sick and disease twisted bodies? Just laboratory guinea pigs found on any public street. No one missed them when I failed. My last case was successful. I now know the feeling of Pasteur, Thoreau and other pioneers._   
_Right now I have a volunteer who will absolutely prove my theory. They call me mad and a butcher, but the truth will out._   
_I feel it is my duty to dispose of the bodies as I do. It is God’s will not to let them suffer._

 

Deanna feels a chill run up her spine as she reads the message.

“This is from him? The killer?”

Mayde nods. “I think so yeah. It’s the only way it makes sense. I’m hoping it’s just some sort of sick joke…”

“It’s hard to say for sure. The wording is odd. I’m glad you showed this to me. There’s something about it that seems familiar. I’m not sure why?”

Keiko nods. “I’m going to run this up to forensics now? Let you two talk for a minute. Detectives are going to want to talk to you too May.”

Mayde smiles at her and watches her leave before she speaks.

“I wanted to ask you, I mean he left this with me for a reason right? Instead of mailing it to the newspaper or police like they usually do?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say anything is ‘usual’ about this but yeah, it is another odd bit to the puzzle.”

“So, this means it’s because of me then?”

“Because of you?” Deanna asks.

Mayde nods. “He’s doing this because of me. I’ve heard these things happen to other reporters. A nut job obsesses about them. Does things to try to get attention. He’s killing because he wants me to, I don’t know…”

“First of all,” Deanna tells her as she takes her hand, “this has absolutely nothing to do with you. This guy is sick. He’s killing for his own twisted reasons. There’s nothing you did or can do that will make him kill. It’s possible he’s fixated on you for some reason but, if it wasn’t you, it would be someone else. None of this is your fault. OK?”

Mayde nods again but she still doesn’t look sure.

“When you talk to Detectives O’Brien and Ogawa, be sure you mention this. They need to be sure you have some sort of protection. Do you have to get back to work right away?”

“No. I’ve got someone covering for me. My boss thinks I should maybe lay low for a while.”

“It’s a good idea. Maybe, when you’re done, we can get Keiko and grab some lunch.”

 

It’s just then that Beverly comes flying into the office.

“Deanna! There you are. C’mon! We’ve gotta go!”

Deanna is startled. “What?”

“Don’t you have your phone? I’ve been trying to text you! Didn’t you get the call?”

“Umm…no. I’ve been busy. I didn’t hear it.”

Beverly finally notices the other woman in the office.

“Mayde right? From the news?”

Mayde stands and holds out her hand and Deanna introduces Beverly.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. I see you all the time. I hate to cut this short but I need Deanna. Can we walk you back upstairs?”

 

Beverly and Deanna lead Mayde upstairs where Keiko intercepts them.

“O’Brien and Ogawa are busy. You mind hanging out for a while?” She nods at Beverly and Deanna and leads Mayde away.

Deanna turns to Beverly. “What’s going on?”

“We’ve got another body.”

“Damn!”

 

On the way to the crime scene, Deanna tells Beverly about the letter. Beverly agrees that it is strange.

“Nothing about this case makes any sense!” Deanna sighs. “Now this inference to research? Research into what? And why?”

Beverly shrugs. “No idea. But it might explain some of the weird stuff like the white residue on the first body.”

“To what end though? What is his motive? I mean, Mayde is probably right about him fixating on her, killing to get her attention. But why this way? And why these victims? There’s something I’m missing.

Something really important. I just can’t quite figure out what it is. It’s driving me crazy.”

Beverly reaches over and touches her leg. “It will come to you. Try not to think about it. Focus on something else. Your subconscious will figure it out.”

Deanna looks at her with a grin.

“What?”

“I’m thinking of something else.”

She laughs as Beverly’s cheeks turn red.

 

The crime scene itself is a seedy looking train bridge on the edge of downtown. Beverly and Deanna join the small crowd of detectives and local police officers. The body was found by one of the homeless men who live in the area. He was fairly incoherent so LaForge took him back to the station for some food and coffee before questioning him. Most everyone agreed that he wasn’t a suspect.  
The head of the deceased was wrapped in a pair of pants and was lying in plain sight. Under the bridge was the rest of the body. It was obvious from the amount of blood on the site that this man was killed on the scene, a drastic departure from the cleaned and posed bodies from before. Beverly estimates the time of death to be between midnight and 2 am and the cause of death, decapitation. What she can’t find is any sign that the man, in his 20’s, had been restrained in any way before or during the killing. She also suspects that the decapitation was done in one cut, something even a skilled surgeon would struggle to do.

As she had done before, Deanna stands back and watches the officers work, hoping to see something, anything, that might give her some clue as to the purpose or identity of the killer. She also periodically scans the crowd. Beverly calls her over.

“I want you to see this.” She tells Deanna. “Here. What do you make of this?” She points out several unusual tattoos.

The young man has quite a few tattoos, most are of the typical skull, snake and dagger variety. The ones Beverly points to are different. One on his upper arm says “ **Helen and Paul** ” and seems to be drawn  
on with a Sharpie Marker rather than tattoo ink. The other is drawn across his chest in large stylized letters and reads " **W.C.G.** "

“What do you make of that?”

Deanna shakes her head. “I have no idea. It’s definitely symbolic though or he wouldn’t have spent the time, especially after such a messy kill.” She sighs. “Nothing about this killer makes any sense at all!”

“Maybe that’s the point?”

Deanna cocks her head. “What do you mean?”

Beverly shrugs. “I don’t know. What if it’s not supposed to make sense? There is no rhyme or reason to the kills or his victims besides the decapitations. You thought he was playing by someone else’s rules. What if he’s copying someone? Or a couple of some ones? It doesn’t make any sense because there is no reason.”

Deanna stares at her. “I need to get back to the office. Now!”

Beverly hands her the keys to her car. “I’ll catch a ride with my friend here.” She gestures to the body. “Good hunting!”

Deanna turns and walks back toward the crowd being held at the edge of the crime scene. Out of habit, her eyes scan the faces, looking for anything familiar. Suddenly she freezes, her blood running cold. She quickly scans back, trying to confirm what she just saw but there is nothing. Still, she’s sure she saw it. Someone was watching her. Not the scene or the police, her. It wasn’t a casual glance either. He was staring. At her. She watches for another minute, desperate to see the face again. Nothing. Slowly, she walks toward the car, unable to shake the feeling of fear that has seeped into her body.


	24. The Cleveland Torso Murders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna finally figures out why the murders seemed familiar. Now, can she find the undsub in time?

Beverly comes into the office and sees Deanna, hunched in her chair, a pen in her hand, staring at her computer screen. She doesn’t move.

“Dee?” She asks. She gets no answer.

“Deanna? Are you OK?”

She crosses the room and gently touches Deanna’s shoulder. Deanna startles, dropping her pen.

“Oh my God! Beverly! You scared me!”

“I’m sorry. I was trying to tell you Jean-Luc has called a meeting upstairs. You still don’t have your phone?”

“Umm…I have it.” She digs through some papers on her desk and pulls it out. “Damn! I didn’t even hear it. You’ll never believe what I found though.”

Beverly looks at the screen where Deanna is pointing. 

“What is this? It looks like our first bodies. It can’t be though. Is it?”

Deanna shakes her head. “No. It’s from 1938. Cleveland. They call them the Cleveland Torso Murders. The Butcher of Kingsbury Run. Killed 12 people. Never caught him.”

“Shit!” Beverly says. “This guy’s copying an old serial killer? From the 30’s?”

“Yeah. I knew something was hinky. I just couldn’t place it. Not until this morning. The letter Mayde got. Then what you said about it not having a reason, just copying someone else. It finally clicked. I’ve seen this all before.”

“Wow. You’ve got to tell Jean-Luc. He’s going to flip. Any idea what it all means?”

Deanna shakes her head and sighs. “I wish I did. This is a positive. We at least know what he’s doing. And why. I think. How to catch him, I haven’t a clue.”

Beverly nods. “Yeah, but that’s not your job. You’ve done what you can. Alyssa and Miles will catch the bastard now.”

Deanna takes Beverly’s offered hand and stands up. “I hope so. I really do.”

 

At the briefing, Deanna shares what she’s learned. After everyone else has discussed their notes on the latest killing and the letter, Picard pulls her to the side.

“Well done Counsellor.”

“Thank you sir. I just wish I knew what it means.”

“As do I. But it’s a start. Certainly more than we’ve had up until this point. I’m sure it will come together quickly now. Why don’t you go home. Get some sleep. Come back fresh in the morning.”

Deanna nods. She opens her mouth to say something about what she thought she saw at the crime scene, the man watching her. She changes her mind. There really is nothing to say about it. She’s not even sure she saw anything at all. Picard squints at her.

“Is there something else?”

“Umm. No. Not really. Just a thought. Let me sort it first. If it turns out to be something, I’ll let you know.” She’ll tell Beverly later. Maybe.

Beverly is waiting for Deanna outside the conference room door.

“Is everything OK?”

“Yeah. Just wanted to check in. You know.”

“hmmm” is Beverly’s only answer.

“Soo…” Deanna starts, “can we get dinner or something? I would like to talk. Debrief a bit.”

“Sure. Dinner. Or something?”

Deanna smiles. “My place? I’ve got some guys at the house. Need to check on them.”

Beverly raises an eyebrow but Deanna doesn’t share.

“How ‘bout I stop and pick up dinner and a bottle of wine and meet you there? Gotta feed Rudi and grab some clothes too.”

 

By the time Beverly arrives, Deanna is on the patio with a glass of wine.

“I hope you don’t mind. I started without you.” She smiles.

“Well, I’ll just have to have two to catch up then” Beverly laughs while Deanna pours her a glass. “I picked up Chinese. It’s on the counter. You wanna eat now?”

Deanna shakes her head. “No. I was thinking of going for a walk. It’s such a beautiful night.”

Beverly agrees and they walk hand in hand down to the shoreline. After a long walk back, they sit in the warm sand and watch the sun sink into the Pacific Ocean. Beverly sighs heavily.

“It’s beautiful.”

“You really love it here don’t you?” 

Beverly smiles as she stares at the last streaks of pink in the sky. “I do. I’ve always loved the beach. I remember one time, my mom brought me…” She stops suddenly and frowns. Deanna puts her hand on her leg.

“It’s OK Beverly. To talk about your mother. To have a happy memory.”

Beverly smiles. “Is this some of that therapy you think I need.”

“It is actually. You need to talk about her. To remember the good things. It’s OK to love her. She was your mother. In spite of everything, I’m sure she loved you.” She wraps her arm around Beverly’s shoulders.

“I did. I mean I was only a kid. I didn’t know any better. And there were some good times. I remember one time she brought me to the beach. We jumped waves and built sand castles. She held me out past the waves and told me about when she came to the beach when she was a little girl. It was like she was any other mother there. Like we had a normal life.”

“That’s a beautiful memory.”

“Yeah,” Beverly agrees. “And then when we got home, her pimp was waiting for us. She didn’t have any money for him. He beat her. It was the last time we ever went to the beach. I think it was the last time I felt happy. Like I belonged. A week later…”

“Oh my God Beverly. I am so sorry.”

Beverly finally turns and looks at her. “No. It’s OK. You’re right. It feels good to talk about it. It was a good memory. Maybe that’s why I love the beach. I just feel good here. Safe. Now you’re here and I am happy again.”

“I’m happy too.” Deanna pulls her closer and kisses her. 

Beverly's hand rubs low on Deanna’s back. “Let’s go swimming,” she whispers.

“Now?”

“Mmmm hmmm. It’s almost dark. There’s no one here.”

“Beverly I don’t…”

Beverly quiets her with a kiss that becomes very heated. Deanna slips her hand up underneath Beverly’s shirt and starts to work it up. 

“Let’s do it,” she whispers. 

Beverly grins at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Deanna stands up and removes her clothes while Beverly watches, her breathing shallow.

“God you’re beautiful!” she says. 

Deanna blushes. She holds out her hand to pull Beverly to standing.

“Your turn.”

 

The women hold hands and walk into the water. Deanna gasps. “It’s cold! Are you sure?”

“I’ll warm you up,” Beverly says, pulling Deanna close with another searing kiss. She slowly works Deanna out into deeper water, being careful not to let the waves knock her over. The surf is light and they find themselves just past the surf line where Beverly can touch but Deanna can’t. Deanna wraps her legs tight around Beverly’s waist while Beverly wraps her arms around her. Beverly lets Deanna slide down and pushes her leg between Deanna’s. With every swell and drop, she pushes into Deanna until Deanna’s breath is choppy. One last wave and Deanna comes with a groan, burying her face into   
Beverly’s chest. 

“Are you warmer now?” she asks Deanna with a smile.

Deanna’s answer is to wrap her hands in Beverly’s hair, pulling her close and kissing her deeply. One hand stays behind Beverly’s head, not letting her pull away, while the other snakes down between them. She touches her and Beverly sucks in her breath. 

“Can you hold me?” She asks, wrapping her legs tighter.

“All night if I have to,” Beverly mumbles. She holds tight while Deanna’s fingers do their magic, thankful for the buoyancy of saltwater. Resting her cheek against Deanna’s, she lets the pleasure wash over her with the waves.

With a smile, and a kiss, Beverly tells Deanna, “Check.”

“What?”

“My bucket list. I’ve always wanted to do that.”

“Hmmm. What else is on your bucket list?”

“You’re just going to have to wait and find out. I’m adding new things every day. Things I want to do with you.”

“Mmmm. I can’t wait to find out.” Deanna says giving her a kiss. “Speaking of, there’s something I want to show you.”

“Here?”

Deanna laughs. “No. You’re going to have to put me down to find out.”

Beverly makes a disappointed face. “Another minute first.”

 

With their clothes sticking to their wet bodies, Beverly and Deanna walk, hand in hand back to the house. Deanna flips the patio lights on and takes Beverly to the side yard. She waits for Beverly to say something but Beverly just stares at the half built structure sandwiched between the house and the fence. Finally she turns to Deanna. “I don’t get it. What is it?”


	25. Glass Houses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna has a proposal to make and the killer takes a daring new step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end, for someone...
> 
> Please let me know what you think...

Deanna stands, her arm wrapped around Beverly’s waist, waiting while Beverly stares at the framework of a small building, partially covered with panes of glass.

“I don’t get it?” Beverly says. “What is it?”

“It’s a greenhouse!”

Still, Beverly is confused. Deanna explains.

“It’s for you. For your plants.” She waits but doesn’t get the response she was hoping for. “You said you don’t get enough sun for them. And I know some don’t like the salty air so I thought a greenhouse would be perfect. It will have an air filter and everything.”

Beverly doesn’t answer her and Deanna starts to feel embarrassed, that maybe she made a mistake.

“Oh God. I’m sorry. I just thought that maybe, you love it here so much and I love you. I know it’s only been a short time but it feels right. I miss you so much when we’re not together and, I don’t know, I just thought that maybe, I mean, I don’t know, that you might want to live here….”

“Deanna…I…”

“Maybe it’s too soon and so much has happened and I know we’re both going through some things and then there’s Rudi and all. I guess we don’t have to live together, not like that, maybe, if you want, you can take the extra bedroom and we can just be roommates and see where it goes and, oh, Beverly, I am so sorry to just spring it on you like this…

“Dee…”

“Forgive me. Pretend like it never happened. We can talk about it another time. You can still use the greenhouse if you want or not, I don’t care really, I just thought it might be something you would like and…”

“Deanna! Stop talking!”

“Umm…OK.”

“It’s a wonderful surprise. I love it. I really do.”

Deanna can hear the ‘but’ coming and looks at her fingers where she’s nervously pulling on them.

“The rest of this? It’s a lot. I’ll admit that. It’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I have. Being able to be with you every night. Waking up next to you. I dream about that. But it is fast and so much has happened. I’m not sure of anything right now. Anything but you. I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t know.”

She pauses and touches her fingers under Deanna’s chin, lifting her face up to meet her eyes.

“But I love you. And I would like to try. At least for a while. See how it goes. If that’s OK?”

 

Deanna’s eyes fill with tears. She doesn’t trust herself to talk, only nod. With a smile, Beverly pulls her close and kisses her. Before long, she has Deanna pinned to the side of the house, her hands wandering. Just before she loses control, Deanna pushes her back.

“No. We can’t. Not here.”

Beverly nips at her neck and Deanna feels her knees wobble.

“Seriously. There’s a boy who lives next door. He’s like 14.”

“Mmmm…so…he’s gotta learn some time.”

“Beverly! His room is right there!” She gestures over Beverly’s shoulder. Beverly sighs. 

“Fine. I’m hungry anyway. But remember, this isn’t done.”

“I’m counting on it.” Deanna says with a laugh as they head inside ‘their house’.

 

He’s exhausted. It was a long night. And a long day. It was a good day. She was there. Mayde wasn’t. Maybe she was sick, didn’t get the letter. That was a disappointment. He so wanted to see her again, let her know how much he loves her. The other woman was there. That was good. He watched her. She looked at him. He saw how much she wants him, the look on her face.   
He followed her car from the body. She went to the police. She must work there. But she’s not police. She didn’t do police things. She just watched. Waited. For him.   
Now he’s waiting for her. He followed her car from the station to an apartment. He didn’t see her. Just the car when she went out. He’s been here all night. Waiting. For the car to come back. Waiting for her.


	26. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly has plans for the day, to keep Deanna safe. Deanna isn't happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been so long. For some reason, this chapter was hard to write.

Deanna opens her eyes to find Beverly’s blue ones staring at her.

“Good morning,” Beverly whispers. “How did you sleep?”

“Mmm. Good. How long have you been awake?”

“A while. I like watching you sleep.”

Deanna laughs. “You’re crazy.”

“Crazy in…”

Deanna quickly puts her fingers on Beverly’s mouth. “Don’t! Don’t say it!”

“But it’s true,” Beverly mumbles around her fingers.

“No it’s cheesy. I have a better idea…”

She leans close and replaces her fingers with her mouth. 

Beverly moans softly and kisses her back. Deanna pulls away.

“Why do you taste salty?”

 

“I went surfing,” Beverly says, moving closer for another kiss.

“What? When? Why are you back in bed?”

Beverly sighs. “I got up early. Perk of living at the beach. But I wanted to be here when you woke up. I want to be here every day. For the rest of my life.”

“Sweet talker.”

“Mmmm. You have no idea…” She kisses Deanna again and things seem to be going her way when Deanna notices the clock.

“Beverly! It’s 7:30! Why didn’t you tell me? We’re going to be late for work! Your hair is still wet, you shower first.”

Beverly tries to kiss her again. “I’m trying to make love to my girlfriend.”

“What about work?”

“I was thinking maybe we could just stay here today. I have an in with the boss.”

Deanna isn’t buying it. She narrows her eyes. “What is going on here?”

With a sigh, Beverly falls back to her pillow. “I was just thinking that, with what you said last night about feeling someone was watching you, Jean-Luc and I, we thought it might be better if you lay low for a while.”

Deanna pulls away and sits up. “You think he’s fixated on me now. And that if you keep me hidden, what? He’ll kill again? Come looking for me?”

“Something like that.”

“Yeah well I don’t like it. Any of it.” She gets out of bed and grabs a T-shirt, pulling it roughly over her head. As she leaves the room, Beverly calls after her, “it’s the best idea we’ve got!” Deanna doesn’t answer.

 

Beverly gives her a few seconds and then follows her. She finds Deanna sitting on the couch, staring out the window. 

“Dee? I’m sorry. I’m just worried. It may have been nothing but that’s not what my gut says. And I don’t think you think it’s nothing either. It shook you. I can tell. You have to respect that feeling. And besides, we’re out of ideas. We need to do something to draw this guy out.”

“But letting someone else get killed? That’s not right.”

“I know. I hate it too. We just don’t see any other way. He’s going to kill again. That’s a given. If we can provoke him, maybe he’ll make a mistake. Show up again. Something. Jean-Luc and I talked about it this morning. If there’s another way, we just can’t see it. So can we go back to bed now?”

“No.” 

Deanna turns to look at her and Beverly is surprised by the anger in her eyes. “Ok” she mumbles. “I’ll go make breakfast or something.”

 

After a few minutes, Deanna follows her into the kitchen. Beverly is standing in front of the stove with a spatula in her hand but there is nothing in the pan in front of her. Deanna comes quietly up behind her and wraps her arms around her waist.  
“I’m sorry too. I over reacted. It’s just that, well, you and Jean-Luc, you make these decisions. About me. But you never consult me. You just decide. You’re probably right, this time, but that doesn’t change the fact that you should have talked to me about it.”

Beverly turns in her arms. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I get it. I do. I’m just not used to having to worry about anyone else. Now I worry so much. It’s overwhelming sometimes.”

Deanna smiles. “Well stop worrying. Nothing is going to happen to me. Just talk to me. OK?”

“OK. Now?”

Deanna laughs. “Yeah. Now.”


	27. Hunting Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things haven't gone as planned. Another hunt is necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another voice in the story. Y'all aren't going to like this chapter but I assure you, it is necessary.

He sat outside the apartment half the night but she never came home. Now he’s across from the police station. Waiting. Still. Could he have gotten it wrong? The wrong apartment? The wrong car? Or is she purposely staying away?  
“FUCK!” he yells as he slams his hand against the steering wheel. “BITCH!”  
How dare she dis him like this? After all he’s done for her? Doesn’t she know? He loves her. He thought she loved him too. Maybe she still does. Maybe she’s waiting, playing hard to get. Would be just like a bitch to do that, tease him. She wants him to prove his love. One more time. 

He’s tired. So tired. He wasn’t planning on going out tonight, finding another. But this is what she wants. He has to. He’s studied the next one. He knows what to do. First he needs to sleep.

He parks on the street next to his place. It’s an old meat packing plant on the east side of downtown. It is the perfect place for him. An apartment upstairs where he sleeps and plenty of room downstairs where he works. And the smell. The smell is awful. The previous owners didn’t clean before they left. They didn’t care. He doesn’t either. It suits him. It hides his work. It keeps nosy strangers away. It’s not really his anyway. It was abandoned. No one cares. It is perfect.   
It’s not just his gifts that he does here. He has a job. He builds things. For other people. To sell. He’s not like the filthy homeless who wander the streets at night. He’s better than they are. Still he talks to them. They’re useful. They’ll do anything for a pack of cigs or a bottle of malt. They steal for him. They carry and hide things for him. They’re no better than sewer rats but they are useful.  
He lies in his bed. He thinks about her. God she’s beautiful. Her long black hair. Her beautiful eyes. Her boobs. God how he wants to touch her. He closes his eyes and touches himself. He pretends it’s her. He won’t have to pretend much longer. She will be his soon. Tonight he will work. Tomorrow she will come to him. She is already his.

It is dark when he wakes. He walks to the gas station store on the corner. He buys a pack of cigs. It’s a nasty, vile habit but the vermin on the streets will do anything for them. He buys himself a chimichanga and a bottle of Colt. It’s going to be another long night.

He arrives at the mission just after 9. Beds have been passed out. The lucky ones are inside. The rest mill around outside, hoping for a miscount, that one more bed is available. Soon they will leave, give up, go back to their doorways and bushes and over passes.   
He’s looking for a man this time. Looks don’t matter. His face will never be seen. It’s the body he’s looking at. He’s tired. Someone small will be easier. Someone older. Someone with not much fight left. He chooses a middle aged man. He’s been here a while. His clothes are ragged. He looks cold. He approaches.  
“Hey bro.” he says. The man looks at him with not much interest.   
“They done for the night?” The man nods.  
“Damn,” he says. “Guess I’ll be sleeping in my van again. You got a place?”  
The old man shakes his head.  
“I got some pizza and a pack of smokes. It ain’t comfortable but it’s warm and dry.”  
The man eyes him suspiciously. Offers like this don’t come along often, if ever. He knows it’s wrong. It’s too tempting not to try. The man nods and follows.  
“Fucking idiot,” he says to himself. The guy deserves it, just for being a moron. How did he survive this long? 

He opens the passenger door to the van and hands the old man the pack of smokes. The man hesitates. He scolds himself. He’s so tired. It is a stupid mistake, giving the cigs before the guy gets in. ‘Please get in!’ he thinks. ‘Please!’ He’s too tired to start again. Everyone will have moved on. He shouldn’t have to work this hard.  
“We can stop and get some hootch,” he offers.  
The man gives him a toothless grin and climbs into the van.


	28. The Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna finally meets her stalker. Things don't go well. For either of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this chapter took me so long. It was a tough one to write. I hope it was worth waiting for.

Deanna rolls over to find the other side of the bed empty.

“Beverly?” She calls out.

The redhead sticks her head out of the bathroom.

“Sorry. I’ve got court all day. Wish I didn’t have to go. You going to be OK by yourself?”

“Of course. I’ve got some work I can do on my laptop. I’m not convinced he’s on to me yet. And besides, if he followed his normal M.O. we would have already gotten a call by now. So I think I’m good for today.”

Beverly furrows her brow. “Ok. Just promise me you’ll stick around until I get back. I was thinking of running by my place and getting Rudi and some stuff. See what he thinks about all this living together business.”

Deanna grins at her. “I think that’s a great idea!”

 

At 12:05 in the afternoon, Deanna’s phone rings.

*Hi. I just wanted to check and see if everything was OK.*

“It’s fine. Quiet. Nothing to worry about. OK?”

*OK. I won’t have my phone on so if you need anything, call Jean-Luc.*

“Stop worrying.”

*I love you.*

Deanna laughs. “I love you too. Now go!”

 

1:17 and the phone rings again. Deanna snatches it off the table next to her.

“Beverly! I told you…”

*Deanna. It’s Miles.*

“Oh. Hi. Sorry.”

*S’ok. We need you. We got a body.*

“Damn.” Deanna swears.

*Yeah. Text ya the address?*

“Sure. You call Beverly?”

*Can’t. She’s in court. Phone is off. Got her assistant covering for her. That a problem?*

“No. It’s fine. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

 

The address Deanna receives takes her to an abandoned lot not too far from the downtown police station where she works. Miles meets her as she pulls her car behind his.

“Sorry to get ya out here on your day off. Thought you should be here, considering and all.”

“It’s fine. I’m glad you did. Does the Chief know you called me?”

Miles shrugs. “Dunno. Wasn’t my job to tell him. Is it a problem?”

“No. I don’t think so. So tell me what you’ve got? I’d like to take a look and then wander around the lot. See if I can get any impressions. Something off. Check out the crowd. You know.”

Miles quickly fills her in on the details. Male. White. Older. Looks homeless. No head. No genitals. “The weird part” he tells her, “is that it is sliced all the way through and nothing there below the hips.”

“Something new?” she asks.

“Who knows what’s up with this guy. Fucking all over the place if you ask me.”

“He’s following a pattern. Another serial killer.”

“Yeah well, that makes it even worse because that fucker was a fuckin’ nut job too. Didn’t make any more sense then than it does now.”

Deanna laughs. “You said it.”

 

After several hours at the crime scene, Deanna has all of the information she’s going to get and leaves to go by her office. She never sees the white van pull into the street behind her.

 

He follows at a discreet distance. He knows where she’s going. Later will be harder but he’s been practicing. He’s not making any mistakes this time.

 

Alyssa pokes her head into the office.

“Still no Beverly?”

Deanna shakes her head.

“No. I haven’t heard from her. Must still be in the courtroom.”

Alyssa nods. “Getting to be closing time. She should be done soon. Picard is out of the office so no debriefing tonight. You might as well head home. Miles and I are heading back out, see how the neighborhood canvassing is going. You need me to see you home first?”

“Et tu Alyssa?”

Alyssa laughs while Deanna shakes her head at her.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve just got a bit more of this report I want to finish and then I’ll go straight home. I promise.”

“Ok. But call me when you get there.”

“Yes mom.”

 

The afternoon traffic helps. He can keep her in sight without getting too close. She must live at the beach. He doesn’t like the beach. Compromises can be made, once they get to know each other. Maybe she’ll move back to the city with him. He shakes his head hard. Not the time to get distracted. This is what he’s been waiting for. Working for. It will all be worth it. Soon.

 

Deanna fumbles her keys at the front door. “Damn,” she swears under her breath. Maybe the paranoia is starting to get to her too. She glances over her shoulder but doesn’t see anything to be concerned about. She looked over the wrong shoulder…  
The phone in her purse rings and startles her, she drops her keys again with another swear. She’s still digging for the phone as she finally gets through the door. She kicks it closed behind her. She doesn’t wait to hear it close.

“Hello?”

*Deanna! Where are you?*

“I’m home. I just got home. Where are you? I’ve been trying to call you.”

*Stupid lawyer. Asked the same question about 30 times. Ran over before the judge finally told him to shut up.”

Deanna laughs.

*I heard you had some excitement.*

“Yeah. I’ll tell you all about it when you get home.”

Beverly pauses at the other end.

“Beverly? What is it?”

*Nothing. I just liked it when you said that. Home.*

Deanna smiles.

“I like it too. I am so glad that you are living here too. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

*Me too. I’ll be there in about an hour, traffic allowing. I just stopped by to pick up Rudi and some things for the next couple of days.*

“Well don’t take too long. Oh and Beverly? Could you bring that little purple thing you wore?”

*You like me in that?*

“Mmm hmmm. I like you even more out of it.”

*Uhh huh. Well I’m going to revise my ETA. More like a half hour.*

Deanna laughs. “I love you.”

 

He stands at the half open door, listening in shock. A lesbian? She’s a fucking lesbian? He hates lesbians. How could he ever have thought she was perfect? But then isn’t every lesbian just a woman who hasn’t met the right guy yet? He’ll teach her. He’ll teach her what sex with a man is like. She’ll never go back to a fucking woman. Not after she has him. He steps through the door and up behind her.

 

Deanna feels his presence as a chill up her spine. Before she can turn, he has his arm around her neck. She senses rather than sees the razor sharp boning knife as it moves toward her. Within a split second, her training kicks in. One hand goes to his wrist at her neck. The other moves low and past her thigh as she steps slightly to the side. At the same time her hand pulls his arm away from her throat, she feels her open hand make contact with his groin. Keeping a tight hold on his wrist to control the knife, her other arm raises and she hits him hard with an elbow to the temple. With a swift stutter step, she turns to face him, her hand moving to his shoulder and pulling him down to meet her knee with two hard blows. She lets him fall to his hands and knees in front of her, watching as the knife falls from his hand. She never felt the cold edge of the knife as it bit into the soft flesh of her neck.

 

In spite of her training, she still hesitates before delivering the final blow. It’s a mistake. One she will never make again. He raises his head and reaches for the knife with a string of breathless curses. With a quick breath, she raises her arm again, fist pointing toward the ceiling. Dropping all of her weight into the blow, she strikes the back of his neck with the sharp point of her elbow. She hears the sickening crack at the same time he falls flat to the floor. With her adrenaline still flowing, she stomps on his outstretched hand, smashing it, making sure he will never hold a knife again.

 

  
She looks down at what she’s done, the prone, broken form sprawled across her floor. In her rational mind, she knows it had to be done, it was him or her, but that doesn’t make her feel any less sickened by the fact that she may have just taken a life. She slowly backs away. When she comes up against the back wall of the room, she slides down and pulls her knees tight to her chest. She doesn’t notice the blood as it soaks her shirt and drips to the floor beside her.


	29. Horror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna's been hurt. Can Beverly save her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me this long. I know this is a hard chapter but I still want to know how you feel. I hope its living up to your expectations.

“Deanna? Why is the door open?” Beverly asks as she pushes through it. She stops short in shock. Dropping her bag and Rudi’s kennel, she rushes to the prone body on the floor.

“Oh my God. Deanna?”

 

She kneels down next to him. She can tell by the odd angle of his head that he’s dead but she feels for a pulse anyway. Finding none, she sits back on her heels to figure out the situation.

 

“Deanna? Are you OK? Where are you?” She scans the room, her eyes finally settling on the figure huddled against the wall. She immediately notices the red stain soaking Deanna’s shirt and puddling on the floor next to her.

“Oh my God! Deanna!” 

 

She half crawls toward her friend, pulling her shirt off as she goes. She wads it up and presses it to Deanna’s neck as she tries to assess the injury. Deanna’s eyes are closed, her face white. Beverly desperately searches for a pulse and finally finds a weak one. 

“Oh thank God!” She mutters.

“Deanna! Dee! Can you hear me?” She gently shakes Deanna’s shoulders and Deanna finally opens her eyes for a second. 

“I’m getting help. Hang in there. It’s going to be OK. I promise. Everything is going to be OK. I’m here now.”

 

She leaves Deanna and staggars back to the door to retrieve her bag. Pulling out her cell phone she calls 911 and runs back to Deanna’s side to re-apply pressure to the wound in her neck.

 

*911. What is your emergency?*

“I..um…I need to report an officer related stabbing.”

*And what is your name?*

“Crusher. Dr. Beverly Crusher. LAPD. It’s my partner.”

She rattles off the address.

“There is also a DOA at the same address. She’s not good. Lost a lot of blood. Need an ambulance immediately.”

*It’s already on its way Ma’am. Do you need me to stay on the phone?*

“No. But could you please call Chief Picard at the downtown station?”

She gives the number and hangs up. 

Jean-Luc finds Beverly in the emergency room of UCLA Medical Center in Santa Monica. She is sitting by herself, back straight, staring straight ahead. He recognizes the look. He’s seen it before. He’s seen it on a little red haired girl after her mother was murdered. Later, on a teenaged girl waiting to be picked up by a stranger after her grandmother’s death. Once again, on a young woman trying to recover from being taken from an abusive lover. He feels his heart break one more time.  
“Beverly?” he asks softly as he gently puts his hand on her shoulder.

 

“How is she?”

Beverly stands and falls into his arms, finally able to let her guard down.

“It’s bad. Think a cut in the jugular. They’re taking her to surgery in a few minutes.” She tells him between sobs. 

He sits her back down. “We’ll go upstairs when they do. I’ve got Miles and Alyssa out at the house with the locals. They’ll call as soon as they know anything.”

Beverly nods then gets a panicked look on her face. “Rudi!”

“It’s OK. Alyssa called Keiko to come get him.”

“Thank you. I don’t know, I can’t do this without you.”

“You don’t have to. I’m here. She’s strong. She’s going to be OK.”

Beverly nods and Jean-Luc pulls his arm tighter around her shoulders.


	30. Deanna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Deanna be OK? Stay tuned and find out. Same bat time. Same bat channel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end. Well almost. There will be one more chapter after this. I just finished writing it. I also have fallen in love with this version of Beverly and Deanna and will continue to write them. I already have several fluff/smut stories that didn't fit into this one.

Beverly stops short at the entrance to the waiting room. Jean-Luc, she expected, the woman next to him, she didn’t. The woman jumps to her feet and moves quickly toward her, wrapping her in a tight hug.

“Bevy!”  
“Lwaxana? What? How?”  
“Your dear Jean-Luc called. William brought his company plane."

Beverly hugs her back.  
"I’m sorry I didn’t…”  
“Oh you never mind that. You had Deanna to think about. How is she? Please tell me she’s OK?”

Beverly nods.   
“She’s OK. She will be. It was the jugular. Just a knick. She lost a lot of blood. The surgery went well. She’ll be ok. Still unconscious. Do you want to see her?”  
Lwaxana wipes her tears. “Yes.”

Beverly makes eye contact with Will, she wants to apologize to him too but he waves her off.  
“Go. We’ll talk later. Take care of Deanna.”

When Beverly returns a few minutes later, Miles, Alyssa and Keiko have joined Jean-Luc and Will in the waiting room. She repeats the details for them then sits between Jean-Luc and Will. She stares at her hands where they rest on her knees, trying to think of something to say to Will. He puts his arm around her shoulder.

 

“Thank you.”  
She looks up, surprised.  
“Will, I…I don’t know what Deanna has told you, I…um…this may not be my place but I…”  
He smiles.  
“It’s OK, Beverly. Deanna and I have talked. We’re good. You and I. OK?”  
She nods.  
“Ok.” She says quietly.

Miles leans forward in his chair.  
“We’ve got an ID. Do you want to know? Or should I wait a bit?”  
“No. I want to know.”  
Miles nods.

“He was in the system. Not for anything like this. Minor stuff. Shoplifting. Vagrancy. Intox. Seems he was on the streets for a while. No real flags. Found his nest too. Really sick stuff. Was in an old meat packing plant. Disgusting. Guys are still working but found lots of stuff. Still trying to ID it all. Your staff is on it. Guy was DOA. You knew that. Broken neck. Doc says C2-C3, whatever that means. She really beat the crap out of him. Bruised liver. Ruptured spleen. Broken ribs. Fractures around the left temple.”

“That’s my girl!” Will says with a laugh.  
“Yeah. Never gonna piss her off. Doc says he took a nasty one to the balls too.” Miles says with a grimace and all the men shift uncomfortably in their seats.

“What about the knife?” Beverly asks. “If she was so good, what went wrong?”  
“Yeah. About that.” Miles says. “Was a boning knife. Big one. You know. The kind butchers use to cut meat away. Things are razor sharp. Long and curved. Designed to cut through anything. Just bad luck, Doc says. Anything else would have barely left a scratch.”  
“So he really was a butcher then?”  
“Nah. Trained for a while. Just enough to be dangerous. Got kicked for liking the job too much if you can believe that.”

Beverly shakes her head. Trying to process everything.

“I just wish…I should have never left her alone. It’s all my fault. None of this would have happened…”  
Will grabs her arm, hard, forcing her to look at him.  
“DON’T! Don’t ever say that! Deanna makes her own choices. She always has. She doesn’t need you or me or anyone else to take care of her. She only needs one thing from you and it’s not your protection. Do you understand?!”  
Beverly nods. Startled.  
“Good. Then we understand each other.”  
She nods again and he puts his arm back around her.

Lwaxana comes back to the waiting room.  
“She’s awake,” she announces. “Beverly she wants…”  
Beverly shakes her head.   
“No. Take Will. I can wait.”  
“Are you sure?” he asks.  
She nods. “Yeah. Go. I want to talk to Jean-Luc for a minute. And I get her forever.”


	31. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wraps up the story but, never fear, I'm not ready to be done with this Beverly and Deanna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and sticking with this story and for all of your kind comments. This was my first multi-chapter and my first AU. I wasn't sure where it was going or if I could even pull it off when I started but, y'all have been very encouraging and I wanted to give everyone a happy ending. Enjoy!

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?”  
“I’m sure. My mother is here.”  
They both glance into the other room where Lwaxana is sitting next to Jean-Luc. She whispers something into his ear and he blushes.  
Beverly looks back at Deanna.  
“I know.”  
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Deanna asks. “I thought you liked my mom?”  
Beverly loops her arms around Deanna’s neck.  
“Dee, I love your mom. I love her like she was my own mother. That’s why she needs to go!”  
Deanna laughs.

“I’ve got it. I promise.” She slaps playfully at Beverly’s hip. “Now go. They’re waiting for you down on the beach.”  
Beverly plants a quick kiss on Deanna’s lips and slips away with a laugh before she gets chastised again.

The doorbell rings and Deanna goes to answer it. On her door step are Keiko and Alyssa and a familiar looking dark haired woman. 

“Sorry we’re late.” Keiko says, handing her a bottle of wine.  
Deanna smiles and hugs her. “No. You’re right on time. It’s good to see you. And you too Alyssa,” she says with another hug. “Miles and Tasha are on the patio with the Chief and the kids are down on the beach already.”  
Alyssa smiles and takes the hand of the other woman.   
“You remember Mayde?”  
“Of course. How are you?” Deanna says, opening her arms for another hug. Mayde hugs her. “I’m good. How are you? I was so sorry when Alyssa told me what happened. I feel kind of responsible.”

“I’m fine. And you had nothing to do with it so don’t give it another thought.” She looks to Alyssa with a sly grin. “So are you two…?” She laughs as Alyssa’s cheeks turn pink. Keiko answers for her.  
“Yeah. They’re perfect for each other. I should be a freakin’ matchmaker!” 

They all laugh and Deanna leads them through the house to the back porch where Jean-Luc and Will are reigning over the BBQ while Miles and his wife drink beer and keep them company. Beverly is down at the shoreline with a handful of kids, teaching them all how to Boogie Board and body surf. Their laughter can be heard all the way inside the house.

 

Deanna is standing ¾ of the way down the beach, her toes buried in the warm sand. She came to call them in for dinner but she stops and watches as Beverly chases a young boy through the surf. He squeals as she wraps him up around the waist and throws him into an oncoming wave. She feels Will come to stand beside her, his hand on her lower back.

“She’s really good with kids.”  
Deanna nods. “Yeah. She never got to be one herself. It’s good for her.”  
Will is silent for a few seconds.   
“Have you thought any more about it?”  
“About what?”  
“You know. Having any of your own. You and Beverly.”  
Deanna turns to face him.  
“I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it. I’m not even sure that I can. Or that I want to. That was your dream.”  
“I thought it was our dream?” He sounds hurt. 

“Oh no. That’s not what I meant. It was our dream. To have a family. But without you, I’m not sure if that’s what I want anymore. I like my life right now. Of course, if Beverly wants a child, I could see that happening too.”  
He kisses her on the cheek. “I know. Just keep me in mind should it come to that…”  
She shakes her head at him with smile.

Dinner is finished and everyone is sitting around the table. Picard gets everyone’s attention and raises his glass.  
“I would like to say thank you to Beverly and Deanna for putting together this little gathering. It is wonderful to spend time with good friends on such a beautiful evening. Also, I want to honor Deanna. Not only did she solve her first big case but she proved herself to be one tough little…”

“Motha!” Miles chimes in. Everyone turns to stare at him while Jean-Luc chuckles.  
“I was going to say ‘cookie’ but I suppose that works too.”  
Miles’ wife backhands him in the arm. “Miles!”  
He looks at her. “What?” She just rolls her eyes.  
“You know you love me, warts and all,” he says as he leans toward her for a kiss. One of his kids pipes up.  
“Oh gross! Is everyone going to kiss now?”  
Miles responds without ever taking his eyes off of his wife’s face.  
“Yes son. I believe they are,” he says, making a shooing motion with his hand. The kids take the opportunity and scramble away to go play in the sand.

The couples, Deanna and Beverly, Alyssa and Mayde, take advantage of the opportunity as well. Lwaxana tilts her cheek to Jean-Luc and he moves in to kiss it. At the last second, she turns her head and he kisses her firmly on the mouth. She sits back, satisfied with herself while Jean-Luc’s face turns a disturbing shade of purple.   
The only single people at the table, Will and Keiko, look at each other. Will shrugs. “When in Rome?” He asks. “I thought you’d never ask,” Keiko replies.

 

Desperate to change the subject, Jean-Luc turns his attention to Will.

“So, Will, how much longer were you planning on staying?”

Will shrugs. “I’m not sure. Probably not long. Deanna doesn’t need help anymore, in fact she’s been talking about going back to work I believe. And it’s been over 3 weeks. I have business I need to attend to at home.” He turns to look at Deanna and Beverly. “But don’t think you’re getting rid of me that easily. I’m loving the California beach life too much. And who would Beverly surf with every morning? “

“You’re getting a place here?” Deanna asks, not sure if Will is implying that or that he intends to live in their guest room.  
He laughs. “Don’t worry. I believe Lwaxana has plans of her own.”  
Deanna turns to her. “Mother?”

“Oh Little One, I was waiting to surprise you but I suppose the cat is out of the bag now. I was talking to your neighbors next door. They are planning on moving to Europe next month and I offered to buy their house. William and I will be roommates. Platonic of course.” She directs the last part to Jean-Luc while Deanna turns to Beverly and mouths “help me.” Beverly just shakes her head with a laugh.

 

The merriment is interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone. Jean-Luc pulls it out of his pocket and looks at it. His face goes pale.  
“Excuse me. I need to take this,” he says as he hurries into the house. Deanna snatches at Beverly’s hand. “Please no!” she whispers. “Not now. Not today.” The party sits in uncomfortable silence until he returns.

 

When he does, his face is unreadable. He comes back to his place at the head of the table but he does not sit. He clears his throat. Everyone waits, expectantly for what he has to say.  
“Ahem. I, um… I believe I have something I need to share. Several somethings in fact. Bev? Is this OK? This is your party for Deanna after all.”  
“Of course it is. This is a celebration for everyone.”  
He nods and clears his throat again.

“Well then, where to start? That phone call, I have been waiting for it for a very long time. I suppose, first I should say that, effective in two weeks, I will be retiring as Chief of the major crimes unit.”

There are gasps all around the table. Miles is the first to speak.

“Well, ain’t that a kick in the teeth! We are happy for you, sir. I guess. We should be happy right?”

“Of course. This is not a bad thing. And you won’t be getting rid of me that easily Mr. O’Brien. I shall be staying on as a consultant, at least until your new chief is up to speed. Captain Ogawa.”

Everyone sits again in stunned silence while Alyssa stares at the table in front of her. Again, Miles is the first to recover his voice.  
“Captain? When the hell did this happen?”

Alyssa starts to speak but Jean-Luc speaks for her. “Alyssa passed the captain’s exam several weeks ago. I asked her to take it. I love you all and I can’t think of anyone else who I would want to take my place. She is a fine officer and will make an incredible leader.”

“Not anyone?” Miles asks. “I think Captain O’Brien has a pretty good ring.” “Ow!” he yelps as his wife backhands him again. He looks at Alyssa and smiles. “I honestly don’t know anyone who deserves it more. Congratulations. You have my undying loyalty and servitude, My Liege.” He bows his head and catches Tasha’s arm as she moves to hit him again.   
Jean-Luc still has not taken his seat. Beverly looks at him. “Is that it?”

“No. That is not it. I have not yet told you the reason for all of this.”   
“So spill it!” she tells him. “We’re all dying here!”

He chuckles. “Ok. I suppose that it’s time I let you in on a little secret.” He pauses again and Beverly gives him the evil eye. Fearing more of her wrath, he gets on with it.

“Several months ago, I submitted paperwork with an international adoption agency. That phone call, it was to inform me that I have been approved and there is a young girl in India available for adoption.” He looks at Beverly. “I would be honored if you and Deanna would travel with me to meet her.”

Beverly has tears running down her face. “Of course! Oh Jean-Luc! I am so happy for you. For us. I’m going to have a sister?” She jumps up and runs to him, throwing her arms around him. He reaches his other arm for Deanna and she joins them. “This is amazing news!”

Beverly finally lets him go and he looks to Lwaxana shyly. “I, um, I would be honored if you were to be a part of this child’s life as well. She will need a mother’s touch.”  
Deanna wipes Beverly’s tears and then her own. “I truly have everything I have ever wanted. I love you all.”

Miles stands and raises his glass. “To family!” The rest stand and do the same. Deanna takes Beverly’s hand and squeezes it. “My family.”


End file.
